How many times do I have to say I love you to the wrong person? How many tears do I have to waste crying for the wrong person?

It is true when they said falling in love is easy but staying in love with that person is difficult. It's hard to stay in love in one person who keeps doing you wrong. It's hard to fall deeper for someone who's hurting you and killing you little by little.

I can't do suicide. I can't stay in a relationship full of wrongs and pains.

But the thing is, I fall easily. It's just that I can't sustain it.

I'm a flawed, imperfect woman. I have made wrong choices and decisions that made the people around me see me in a different perspective.

The woman who can't be contented, the woman who asks for more. That's how they see me.

But the thing is, they don't really know what I really am.

I'm just a girl who longs for a man who could make me happy with simple surprises; a man who could assure me that I'm the only one; a man who wouldn't get mad and shout at me when I get jealous; a man who could understand what a woman like me goes through.

That kind of man that's hard to find.

I wonder if there's a man like that.

…Especially when I'm a woman who's viewed as the woman with a long list of ex—lovers.