'' Hello friends, I'm going to tell you my little story. My name is Fidèle Noah, yes it's ugly I know. I don't understand why my parents gave me this first name, it's so old-fashioned and not very suitable for a girl like me. Luckily I have two, Carla is my middle name, it's the one I use always and everywhere, it looks more like me and reflects me. I am the eldest in my family, I am 30 years old, yes I am already a big girl still single and without children. You will understand why I don't have children, it's voluntary. I come from a modest family, former rich now poor because I am practically the only one who brings food home. I live with my little sister, Lydie who is still at school and my father François Noah who fights as best he can to help me with household chores. It's not always easy because he's always sick, he's diabetic and hypertensive, so he's often rested. We are staying in an apartment, luckily my uncle left it to us when he left for Europe with his family, I don't know what we would have done if we had rented with the high cost of living in the capital economic, it is not obvious. My mother pffff I don't like talking about her she annoys me. I very often listen to people speak well of their mother, say that they are their god and everything, it pains me so much I would have liked my mother to be like other people's mothers but too bad, she was is preferred to us. A few years ago my father lost his job, a job that put us out of need, I still remember that time well we were so happy an almost perfect family, my father took good care of us and of his wife, we lacked nothing. One evening my father came home from work all dejected and looked desperate, the worst had happened, he had lost his job following a serious problem in his company they were forced to dismiss employees and him at the same time. The world collapsed before our eyes, my father didn't have a plan B at all and my mother, housewife also counted on him. The way of life started to regress little by little the time for him to find another job. It looked like bad luck was on his side because he couldn't find anything, nothing to do despite his skills, nothing, not even a sub-job. That year was the hardest, my mother couldn't bear the extreme mess we got into, one fine morning we woke up that she had deserted without leaving a trace or a word. I was 22, I could already take care of mine like a woman. So I took over, I wiped away my father's tears, I took care of him like a baby; he had lost his self-confidence, lost the love of his life and thought he was losing our respect at the same time. That was not the case. My little sister and I had given her all the love children could give their daddy. Little by little, he got up and did odd jobs thanks to that I was able to get my license and I stopped school. It was time for me to take my responsibilities as a big sister. I started looking for work, I also did any kind of work as long as it brought me something, with what I earned and what my father brought back we could manage ourselves and continue to pay for the studies of Lydia. Until the day my father fell, it was a second shock for us he had stopped working and I was the only one to bring back money, how much? For how many people ? not to mention his medication, his care and medical visits, with all this we could no longer manage the rent and had accepted the proposal of his big brother, our uncle to live with him. We are there so far. You understand that after everything I've been through so far I haven't had my head rested to think about having a child, not even by accident, I've always taken my precautions, for me my family comes first and despite what we're going through I wouldn't want to, it would be irresponsible for me to bring another charge and even my little sister I tell her that all the time. She is a beautiful little girl of 20 very intelligent she has just started college and is studying finance, I know that one day she will take over she will become a great lady. Our mother's departure affected her a lot, she cried sometimes over her absence, I couldn't do anything, I didn't know where she was until the day her sister, my aunt, let us know that she was living with a white, eh ah a white of anything. My mother is a bad woman, I hate her, you'll think I'm harsh, too bad, that's how I feel, I don't want to see her today or tomorrow... She got in touch with my little sister. I'm never going to prevent him from seeing his mother, but I'll let her cross his path. I'm never going to look like her, abandon my children because I saw a white man who has more money, a kid, that Stuippp woman. I hope she is happy where she is.

Now let's go into my little life, as you will learn more about me. I'm 1m70 for 60 kilos, yes I'm a model, or it's starvation or it's really my weight ohh I don't know lol. But I like it, I feel good about myself. I have a black complexion, very black that I assume, I am not ashamed like some who will spoil their skin because they want to shine after they become ugly, I have confidence in myself and I feel beautiful , it is the complexion of glory. I don't have girlfriends unless you call friends and acquaintances girlfriends. I don't like to be burdened with people who don't bring me anything more in my life, I hate wasting my time with interested hypocritical girlfriends and all, my sister and my father are enough if I want to confide I talk to them that's all. People say that I feel, it amuses me, they didn't understand my vision of things, I don't blame them, others say that I'm insolent, impulsive and I have a big mouth, hahahaha I I can still accept that I have a big mouth, I don't like being pushed around, I'm strong-willed and always on the defensive, maybe that's a fault, I don't know. I'm always tense because of the situation we're living at home, my father's illness which worries me because of that I can be really boring but that doesn't make me a bad person, those who know well know that I am very loyal with a big heart. Apart from that, I have a boyfriend named Moussa, he is Muslim, we have been together for over a year. to tell the truth it's not a relationship that I take to heart, I'm not in love, he's there just to make me have a good time you see a little, because in the pile he's too savvy I'm always satisfied . For his part, I don't think he considers me very much, he's already had to cheat on me several times, but I don't care, that's his problem, I don't have time to manage his libido. Besides, he surely has a wife waiting for him in the village, why attach myself to him. In conclusion, I am single. I'm waiting for the right person even if at my age I really don't believe in it anymore. I had to make a decision, if at 35 I still don't have a real relationship I'm going to have a child and stay calm, marriage is not for everyone. I don't blame myself for not having seized the opportunities that were offered to me, I was busy managing my family, it's my priority, if because of my family I don't have a husband it won't hurt me. seeing them happy, seeing my father healthy makes me happy.

Currently I am unemployed yes covid 19 came to ruin everything, the company where I worked has closed here we are unemployed in the meantime I had small jobs for a few months that I have already exhausted and now I am at background in the search for a job and a real one I am tired of odd jobs. I work in office secretarial work, communication, and marketing, I have several hats that often play in my favour. I'm out this morning to go to an interview for the position of executive assistant in a telephony, communication and advertising company. I like it because I embrace all its functions, who knows maybe it is thanks to these assets that I would be recruited, I cross my fingers. The com etpany is great, if they recruit me I'm going to do a mass of thanksgiving, I could finally pay for my father's care without having headaches, I'm going to repay my debts. I put on a trouser suit and blue jacket with a white bustier inside, I put on heels as I like. I feel beautiful and well dressed for an interview. I'm going to stop the taxi, I mustn't be late and if I take the motorbike I could have an accident or even fall into the water, ehh I don't want this kind of incident. Before going out, I made my father's breakfast, he will have it when he wakes up. I looked at his remedies there is a box that is finishing I am already sick it is expensive. God will help.

I'm already on the way to wait for the taxi, they always pass loaded stuippp that's even what that. Time flies ohh I'm going to be late, maybe I have to cross to get to the other side because sometimes it goes on both sides especially if the axis is blocked. Pfff I cross ''

She rushes down the lane in a hurry, an oncoming car saw her from afar and braked just in time, she fell. A gentleman gets out of the car, he rushes to get her up, Carla exclaims nervous

_ ehh you did not see me? You could have killed me

_ sorry ma'am I didn't see you you could have been careful or even look before crossing

She gets up looking at her clothes which she begins to rub to remove the dust

_ and besides, it's my fault, that's it. When you're in your big cars is what you still look in front of you stuippp real nonsense

The gentleman looks at her, he doesn't know what to do, it's obvious that he really blames himself

once again excuse me

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