| Epigraph |
"I wish I had the guts to walk away from what we had, but I can't, because I know you won't come after me, and that's what hurts the most."
*throws dark chocolate to all my readers*
*eats cream buns and burps like a sheep in front of all my haters*
<<< This book is dedicated to those who think they will never be loved by anyone their whole lives >>>
Here you go!
1| Half Hope, Half Love
__________
"If someone you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge and get over it."
__________
"I'm nervous, Scarlett."
In the midst of choosing the attire for his special night, after probably scandalizing his whole closet and not getting the desired piece, I stopped my ministrations, only to turn around to look at his troubled expression.
Very rare, indeed.
"What if she doesn't like me?"
When I made no move to correct him, he gauged my incredulous expression, but continued nevertheless. "You know I don't have much experience with women."
Actually, his 'much' translates to "shaking hands with the urgent female pests and later sanitazing his whole bloodstream with the likes of Lifeboy.
But I knew better than to peel his words, and throw the carbs back at him.
"I highly doubt Kiara isn't sensible enough to see what I see in you."
Staring right through his hidden soul, I smiled genuinly. "That you're the most handsome piece of flesh and blood, highly advanced functioning robot with the special lie detector, having characterised devotion and pride to your work, and not necessarily to say, but much better person in real than what you let all those around you see."
But as expected, he didn't believe a word of mine so I continued rummaging through his clothes.
"Kiara is someone I don't want to let go of, anytime soon."
I didn't turn around. "I know."
"If things turn out right, I'll propose her to be my wife."
I didn't respond, knowing its alreadly clear to both of us, that if things didn't turn out right in the end, he'll break from inside and I have to be beside him to help him, recover, revive.
To be back on his feet again.
"I'm not experienced enough, Scarlett."
Yes, wooing women had never been on the list of his achievements.
But there is always a first time for everything. He needed to know that.
He needed to know he didn't need my help anymore. I was just his employee.
His secretary. Assigned to help him in his work.
Not his friend. Present here to give him love advise.
Taking a deep breath, I bit my lip hard, finding it hard to ignore the anticipation of his next words.
Sometimes, I wish I didn't know him that much.
"Hazel."
Instantly, my body stiffened, hearing my first name roll out so beautifully, lovely, sensually, from his mouth, and I gripped his robes tightly around my fingers, clutching them for life, silently shooking my head, my heart not wanting to hear his next words.
Grabbing all my wits, slowly I turned around, looking as casual as the moon hidden behind the clouds, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
Not wanting to make it awkward, I placed the selected pair of clothes on his bed, feeling his precise eyes gauging my every movement, making my skin tingling with nervousness.
But when he made no move to go and change whatsoever, I sighed to myself and walked to his side, placing both of my hands on his broad shoulders, making him look at me.
He would need some encouragement and a slight push, I thought.
"I think you're thinking too much, Heath. Any women in their right mind would love to be with you and any women in their wrong mind would kill to be with you."
He didn't look a bit convinced. It's okay, I didn't expect any better from him.
He looked at me with blank eyes, his expression passionless, and I cursed myself for not realizing that he could be as silent as the dark, if he wanted.
The more he felt, the more he hid.
Because he was scared of being betrayed and left behind.
He had his pretty good damn reasons for thinking that, I decided after remembring everything he went through.
He didn't talk much, he was not arrogant like all the rich funky rude bastards, he was not conceited, baring him of any drop of narsissance, but he can be all of those, if required and nobody knew it better than me.
He was wounded, but he would rather die than let anyone see and take advantage of it, he was thirsty, of love, of his parents, of his grandfather, of his love, Kiara.
My sister.
But he found it easier to bury it deep inside his heart, than to let it all out. As usual, we run from the truth, only to collide with its cruelity, it's purity, one day, with such a force that it tackles us down to the past, the one place where nobody wants to wander again.
No matter how much good or bad, it is. Nobody wants to go deep into their past.
And this time, he encountered the truth, with bravery, and embraced it in his heart, to move forward, with better promises, with his loved ones.
"You don't have to worry over trifle things, I know you can do better than-"
"You're her sister, Scarlett. Nobody knows her better than you. Tell me what she likes..." He gazed at me with intensity tearing my insides. I could feel his breath honning my lips, making them part in desired anticipation. "In men."
My throat went dry, my mind blaring with his request, trying to find any suitable answers for him, but I found none.
Except for she likes every men, as long as they behave as one.
But knowing him, it was better to keep it to myself.
"I... " Inching my face away from him, I tried to look at anywhere but him. "Kiara isn't picky type, you know. She likes almost everyone, instantly."
Feeling his intense burning stare at my skin, I added in haste."As a friend, of course."
He hesitated. "But I don't want her to think of me as a friend anymore. We've had a fair three year long friendship already."
I've been with you for seven years straight, I thought.
"How about you tell me what does she like in men, romantically?"