He was always my protector. Ever since I mustered up the courage to speak to him at lunch he was always my protector.

Some might say we were too close to just be friends but that's what we are.

Although we're close he still spends most of his time with his friends.

Damon spends most of his time with the guys either at the gym or in the pub. It's something that annoys me. Mostly because he's wasting his time there. He's turning 21 next month and has no direction for his future.

I know I shouldn't care if that's what he wants to do but I want something more for him. I want him to have purpose in his life.

I'm on an internship at an agency and have a few jobs giving me some good money since my parents don't work 9-5 jobs anymore.

Damon was inviting us all round for a meal later tonight. He didn't want to tell me why even with the amount of times I asked him. He may listen to me but I'd be stupid to think that i can control what he does.

He is very charming which makes it hard to stay mad at him. Only my step sister knows about my secret longing for Damon.

Not going to deny it. He is rather handsome and did I say charming already.

My interest with him started at a party once. I had turned 18 a few days before and We were both drunk actually a lot of us were.

Me and a few of the guys were camped out on the stairs bored of the game that everyone was playing in the lounge.

I was left alone with Damon when the guys heard some more girls were on their way. Horny bastards.

I was just playing with the scar on his arm when Damon lifted me up and placed me on his lap, the next thing I know he'd smashed his lips against mine.

Like every first kiss it was awkward at first but his lips were just coaxing me making it easy to follow.

The following morning when we had McDonald's for breakfast I found out that he didn't remember a thing from that night.

I decided to never bring it up and just have it as my own little secret.

I'm glad he was my first.

I took my time getting ready for tonight. I don't know why but I felt like something big was going to happen.

My parents were ready to drive me and my sister there for our reservation.

We were meeting him there and I assumed most of the guys would be meeting us there too. I was so nervous walking inside but Lily had a tight hold on my hand. Can always rely on my sister.

Pretty much everyone was seated so I had to get sat down quickly. Damon had already pulled out a seat for me that was right next to him. I smiled at him and took my place.

We ordered our foods and made a start on our meal. The casual conversation around the table was nice and relaxing. Damon had his seat close to mine and we were shoulder to shoulder.

"is that my jacket?" he leant in to whisper in my ear. I angled my head sending him a small smirk.

"you can have it back tonight" I said to him, grabbing my glass of coke and slowly drinking from it. I felt him take a drink of his own. "no, keep it" I was about to object but he sent me the look of don't argue.

I know that look all too well over the years I've known him.

"you're going to need it" I heard him mutter as he turned his head to converse with one of the guys. Those words scared me, why would I need his coat I have plenty a home just like this one. Maybe not as big and warm but very similar.

"you okay" Adam, lily's boyfriend whispered placing his hand on my arm. I nod quickly. I hadn't even noticed that was just staring at Damon as he spoke.

"yeah, just thinking" I answer honestly.

"you're probably dying to know why we're having such a formal dinner and why he wanted everyone to be here" he says. I feel like he knows something I don't.

"do you know?" he shook his head indicating no, but I feel as though he is lying.

As an hour passed Damon got all our attention. He had everyone watching and listening to him with such ease it was admirable.

He sat up straight and placed his hand on my leg. It was firm but it was like he needed me for courage. My heart was racing I had no idea what Damon was thinking at this minute.

"thank you for coming tonight. As well as inviting you all to have a meal like we used to I also have something I want to tell all of you" I watch his mom bite her lips slightly. Avoiding contact with anyone.

I stare at her. What does she know.

"right well I guess this is the time to say it. I've been thinking a lot lately" he starts off by saying. Thinking...Damon well this can't be good.

"and the main thing I've had on my mind was my future. I'm 21 now and I have no future planned at all and I know that worried a lot of you but it never really seemed important at the time" I could sense some shakiness to his voice.

I wrapped my fingers around his arm. He took a deep breath as soon as I did.

"basically, what I'm trying to say is that I need to figure my life out before I start to pursue what I really want. Dad left saying how I would be the man of the family, I needed to take care of everyone but right now I'm failing.

I've considered everything and, in a week, I will be joining the army. Not only will I be fighting for my country but it will give me time to really think" the guys were shocked for about two seconds before they stood up and started to congratulate him.

He removed his hand from my leg and thanked them. I was in total shock, I never thought I would hear those words come out of that mouth of his. He never said anything about wanting to join the army.

As soon as I heard the faint cry of his mother I flew out of my seat. Without sparing a glance I raced out of the restaurant desperate to get out of there.

I ran inside my dads range rover and sat in the back. I let the tears fall from my eyes, sending a silent prayer that all this was a dream.

The sound of the door opening made me freeze. I could sense it was him I didn't even have to check.

"Baby girl I'm sorry" he whispers wrapping his arms around my waist. As soon as his nickname fell from his mouth I sobbed against my hands. Hating how weak I was right now.

He lifted me up placing me in his lap. His hands came up and wiped away my tears. But I had given up I let them continue to fall.

" I hate to see you cry " he mumbled. I couldn't help it though. He was always here right where I needed him.

Now he was leaving me and there was a Chance he wouldn't come back.

" I have to go, I need to figure my life out. I know you hate how I'm pissing about but I want to make you proud of me baby" I sniffle.

I didn't mean go get yourself killed, what kind of logic is this.

" what if you don't come back" I mutter playing with his long fingers.

His breathing falters slightly. " I will baby girl I'll always come back whatever it takes"