I'm so dizzy, Ugh. Looks like I drank too much alcohol? Fuck, Alcohol.
It was as if I was going to collapse beneath the weight of what I was feeling.
Holy fuck, I drink much too much!
I can't stop my tears from falling, and I don't want to live in this world any longer. I'm so fucking sad, this is the reason of why I don't wanna drink too much alcohol.
"Hghhhh, huhuhu, hgh," I cried as much as I could, I feel everything.
I feel like I'm in a trance because of what I used to do? But I needed money, so I did it, right?
Why do you let them die, God? Am I such a bad person? Is this my karma? Why do you take them away from me if you could just take me easily?
You could just as easily take me away too since you planned on taking them away from me in the beginning. Why are you so cruel?
I wiped the tears in my face with bare hands As I proceeded to the exit, my world was wobbling and spinning around me. My vision is beginning to blur. What happened to those motherfuckers? Ugh!
Anyway, I'll just sleep in my car. I should look into it; I just have to. I'm walking slowly and trying to keep my legs balanced so I don't seem stupid and collapse to the ground.
Damn, I've got a headache. My body is so heavy and I feel so weak that I don't have the strength to do anything but lie down on the nice bed.
Despite the fact that I was exhausted and dizzy. Fortunately, I still had awareness, and I'll do my best not to lose it.
**
The liveliness of the different lights in each building keeps my mood splendid since it is mesmerizing directly in my eyes and beyond doubt amazing to look at as I operate my car, dopey fast down the road. Still, I cannot help the excitement I am feeling right now.
Hell yeah!
When I opened the window, my soul could leave in my body from the polluted air in this City and the enormously strong breeze that I caused.
I immediately blew my car on the top of the street as I enjoyed the crazy breeze around.
I suddenly wondered why I was unable to control what I was feeling.
Deep in my bones, I would feel how distressed I am, fucking thinking how would I fucking live without those!
I longed for drugs, fucking crave for it truthfully.
I did stop for a while, now? The body wants it, cannot help it since I believe it is normal.
I can no longer control the feeling of loneliness. For me, I want it! Right Now!
In the beginning, I, thinking and finally deciding to stop, knew in myself that it was impossible.
I was not capable of not being able to taste it again! That decision is a freaking mistake!
Since the night that I threw it all away, I regret it in a minute only and move on. The following day, everything went well short of not personally being unable to sleep well afterward.
I deprive myself of seeming to be sane and sleep in those days simultaneously. Something is whispering in my head that I need those for it.
And now, I could no longer hold back!
I cannot sleep properly and I know that without it, I feel like I'm not in the right state of mind.
Tch.
I stopped but I want it again, again and again. I would die if I did not get a chance to taste that again. I love drugs, my one, and only medicine. Like, it is not wrong to be happy, correct?
I felt the incredible joy of not seeing a single car as I pulled over and drove my Buggati like lightning since it has insane speed.
"WOOHOO!!!" I shouted in agony.
The cold of the night encouraged me to come here again.
I badly want to get high and forget the world.
I want to find the only cure for myself, my happiness.
I rushed over to this parking lot as I quickly parked my car. I do not know if I crushed that car somehow, the thing is not mine though not a problem.
When I came out, a man was trying to stand but was out of balance.
" Ahoy, Sir! Do you want some? , HeE," my eyes widened when he showed me the fat white cellophane while on the other hand, he had some weed.
“ GOOD EVENING, SIR! EHE, HE,” the way he walked is not normal as I noticed his eyes were very red, alcohol and drugs had already hit this person. What a Life!
An unpleasant smell of alcohol befalls anticipated from his mouth as his voice was like a high individual enjoying life since the drugs he was using hit him.
I just gave him a look as he handed them to me.
Holy fuck, I miss this!
My eyes widened with excitement as my lips rose when I saw those, oh my!
I am only witnessing those white in fat cellophane while myself is experiencing heaven in hell right now!
So, Happy! I grab it, put it in my face, and close my eyes! I want to go to Mars!
I can't stop myself from smiling and I can't explain how joyful I am right now.
Cocaine, painkillers, and heroin, my baby's.
I've been craving this for a matter of fact that I can't stop myself from using it.
I could imagine myself in that kind of state, traveling into a new world, these are the only things that make me experience being happy except for my Empire and Buggati.
Buying medicine is the only reason for what the fuck am I doing in this kind of place. Oh, I see, I noticed that it is normal in this place to sell and use illicit drugs.
Should I report them to the authorities?
Nah, I indeed disregard this. I'm not involved though.
"Thank you, More blessings to come for you, Sir," he said.
"Hey, your breath stinks, put an end to that talking. You are making me vomit,' I say.
I essence right here even as he exhales some air in his hand and smells his breath and looks at me.
"How was it?" I asked.
"Sorry, I have no clue. So Funny, " The man said while laughing, his breath smells like a canal and has been mixed with some flavors of booze.
I walked away until I saw a man who was about to kick my baby!?
My blood rose through my veins into my head as he finally kicked some area of the door!
This crazy man is making my blood boil all of a sudden! This is a big deal for it is mine and has always been mine.
Mine. Mine. Mine only!
I bought it without any help from anyone.
My precious thing.
"My BUGATTI..." I utter. Of all the goddamn cars in this goddamn parking lot, why did he fucking touch the one that I own?! This motherfucker got some nerves, eh?!