I can't describe how Lost I've been these last few weeks. I had hoped that Nate would return in the next few days after he left England but he actually didn't. When he did, he still didn't contact me which was the final straw. A small part of me was relieved when he didn't come back with that woman. But he made sure to announce to everyone that he was enjoying the single life.

What a fucking insult that is.

George had stormed over to Nate's apartment the minute he heard news of Nate's return. I was thankful that George was fighting for me but when George returned with a busted lip I pleaded with him to stop.

What could we do. Nate had made up his mind.

After an intervention from my parents which was led by little brother Eaton. He was the only one that could without saying a word, could drag me out of my bed.

I knew that I needed to focus on myself and not think about Nate which is why I've been blogging more recently, getting back into it and falling in love all over again. I now have my own photographer to help create photos for me, Cameron knows all of my right angles, he knows how much lighting is needed for the right picture. Honestly I am not paying him nearly enough.

One thing that worries me is that I think he likes me more than a friend but I just don't feel any attraction towards him which in my head sounds awful to say. I had been thinking about talking to him about it all day yesterday when we were filming in oxford. But I didn't get the chance.

Cameron is supposed to be here any minute to drive us to Tammy's dress fitting. When I saw his car pull up outside I grabbed my bag and ran out of the house.

"Loretta you're aware that if we're late Tammy will " he starts to shout with his head poking out the window.

"I know I know we're dead " I said panting as I ran to the passenger side of the car. I was late to a meeting for her wedding once and she nearly killed us both because we were outside taking pictures. In my defence though, she forgave me the minute I pulled her in for a picture which made it onto my blog.

"Dan messaged me and said he's having a party tonight we could go together if you want" Cam breaks the silence. I froze when I realised what he just said. Together as in a Date, no just as friends obviously. Right?

"Um cam I don't know I haven't really thought about it, " I say quietly.

"Loretta get over yourself I just want to go as friends, " he says jokingly, that was harsh but I guess he's right. So he wasn't asking me out on a date. I may act like I am over Nate but in reality I'm anything but over him.

"can I ask you a question Cam " I'm now fully turned in his direction, he glances at me still trying to keep his eyes on the road. I guess I better sort this out now before I further embarrass myself.

"do you have a girlfriend?" I ask him seriously, Cam turns into a side road and switches off the engine. He finally turns to me. When I look at him my eyes widen at the smirk on his face.

"Loretta, I'm married, " he says simply practically looking constipated because I know he's dying to burst into laughter. "You're married!" I all but shout, my heart racing with total embarrassment. Seriously Loretta. My eyes move over to his left hand that rests on the steering wheel. A simple wedding band sits on his finger, how did I not notice that before.

"yes, have been for the last year " He chuckles.

"oh thank god " I whisper finally taking a deep breath. Cameron's eyes snapped back to me.

"what's that supposed to mean " he asks harshly. I think I may have hurt his feelings with that one but I can't actually believe he kept this from me.

Who keeps their wife a secret and why haven't I met her. I would have thought it was important seeing as we spend a hell of a lot of time together.

"I'm sorry that came out wrong I just I got mixed signals and my heart is with someone else so I was just wondering, but married" his face relaxes a bit and his face brightens up he's probably thinking about her right now.

"Nate is lucky"

I look at him surprised, I didn't even know he knew about that. although I guess he's not oblivious to the attention that's been focused on me and Nate.

"I'm not an idiot I know about Nate, and I also know you're deeply in love with the dick " I laugh lightly at cam's change in tone. I guess he's not a fan of him.

"you know what how about after this I introduce you to my wife and then we all go to Dan's" Cameron suggests. I mean I'm sure that won't be bad I'd love to meet his wife I'm sure she's lovely.

"okay but first let's get to the boutique before we both are on bridezillas radar" with that said Cameron put the car in gear and we're back on the road both of our hearts racing because I don't think any of us want to be on her radar.

That woman is bad shit crazy.

" I can't, you go in alone"

I look behind me and cam hasn't moved a single inch from the car "what do you mean you can't we're going to be late " I roll my eyes at his behaviour, he oddly reminds me of George. Maybe that's why we get on so well.

"she's at the window I can feel her heated gaze already" I peek at the window and he's right she's standing at the window with her arms crossed. Not impressed.

"fine I'll speak to her, I'm sure your wife is proud of your courage Cam" I mumbled as I slammed the car door and headed inside.

Hey shouted in objection but I had already made it inside.

"hello gorgeous," I say to tammy testing the waters. She's currently got her back to me as she talks to Lindsey her sister. I can pretty much see the stress on her face.

"get changed" her voice calls out to me, she doesn't even bother turning to face me.

Lindsey shoves me the dress quickly before running back to tammy.

I walk into the dressing room quickly and try on the dress, it could be worst I say considering what I look like in the mirror. She's decided to have her bridesmaid's wear lavender colour dresses. and I hate this colour so much but if I objected I think tammy would hate me and probably break down crying, so I decided to keep my mouth shut.

"it's a shame that you look beautiful in that dress" Tammy breaks the silence as I stared at myself.

I lift my eyebrow "why's that?" I question her.

"because I wanted you to look ugly for once " the other girls laugh at her comment, I shrug it off sending a quick save me text to my partner in crime outside.

"does that mean I can take it off now", I ask her dreading her reply.

"I suppose so" she weakly replies. before she could even turn back around my knight in shining armour bursts through the door.

I'm telling you, the replica of George.

"not so fast ladies"

"can't leave without a photo " he says grinning holding up his big ass camera. Unfortunately for tammy Cameron is her wedding photographer.

"perfect just who I wanted to see" tammy mutters expressing a further hatred for the man.