Sometimes, we have this strong desire in us; a desire that makes us in great need of a change, so we start acting recklessly, not thinking about the consequences that may accompany our reckless behaviour. We block logical thinking because, at that moment, logic becomes irrelevant. Even if we are the most rational people in life, we get tired.
Sometimes, we think that we are making the right choices; however, we become blinded at that time. Blinded by the lies that we were fed with, by the imaginary happiness we drew for ourselves, and by the fake strength somebody provided us with.
Our stupidity misleads us at some point in our lives, it makes us push those who really care about us away, it makes us approach the devils in disguise, thinking that they are angels. They may be angels, but at some point, Lucifer was once an angel too. That hideous stupidity of ours beautifies horrendous things in our eyes and we only wake up from that fake fantasy we were once stuck in when something breaks us, scars us forever, and makes us question our entire existence.
Sometimes, we lose the ones who love us the most because, let’s be fair, they’re not going to wait for us forever. They may forgive us, but they will definitely not forget the pain we caused them. The misery we once put them through. No matter how many times we knock on their doors, they push us away because, in their eyes, we become nothing but toxic people walking on Earth and they have to avoid us at all costs as they never want to get hurt again.
But maybe we still have some luck left in our lives, just a tiny flicker that will make us hopeful again. Maybe the ones we pushed away are not gone forever as we thought they were, maybe they still see the good in us despite the messed up things we have done. Whether we believe it or not, the ones we hurt the most could turn out to be the ones we are in terrible need of to pick up our broken pieces and glue them back together.
After all, aren't we all in great need of somebody to fix us? to take us as who we are? to look past our mistakes? We are not angels. We make mistakes. We sin. We hurt and we get hurt. However, nobody owes us complete forgiveness and neither do we owe it to anybody. As hopeful as we may be, not all of us are lucky enough to find this person in our lives who is willing to look past all that we have done, and maybe this is one of the saddest parts of our lives, but I guess we have to prepare for the worst.