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Truths And Secrets

Truths And Secrets

作家:Aphroditeex

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簡介
Challenges came to her life unexpectedly. A drop-out student started to apply in a company do gain money, wherein fact her knowledge wasn't that enough to make her hired, yet she still tried. Meeting Lucas was new to her and will be always her greatest treasure, Lucas felt the same.
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Dim lights covered the entire balcony where I was alone and feeling the cold wind on my opened shoulders and arms. I was feeling heaviness on my chest it was painful, but what's the most painful is that I can't let it out. I don't know how to let it out. But I was hoping that before this night ends, I would finally let it free.

"Hey. I've been finding you since 30 minutes ago. Why didn't you tell me you're just here?" I heard a voice from my back, I was facing the skycrapers and city lights. But even though I won't turn my back and check who came, I already knew who it was. I knew that voice. I knew who it from.

I didn't respond to his question. I glanced at the floor and saw the shadow behind me became bigger and bigger as seconds passed. "Hi, baby," he said. I gulped and sighed heavily. Calling me that way makes myself to breakdown, it also makes myself to back out from what I am planning tonight. But, no, I should be strong. I should do this.

"It was last year when I came here for the first time," I started without looking at him although he was already beside me. My eyes craves his green eyes but I kept on reminding myself to not to look on that eyes or else I will fail tonight. "I came here that day because I wanted to yell. I wanted to thank the heavens loudly that day because I got the chance to be here. Although I knew my capabilities and skills aren't enough,"

Lucas' hand went on my right waist, because of that I stopped from talking and reminiscing the past. I don't know why does it feels so good by just holding me like this? Even though deep inside I am already in pain. "I remembered that day. It was the day when I felt something I shouldn't," He spoke that made me chuckled. Perhaps, this is already the time to split up? This would be a good ending for the both of us.

"I was so thankful, Lucas. I am really. I owe you alot. But, I couldn't continue this relationship anymore. I am in pain, Lucas," Finally, I've said. I have been resisting this one for almost 2 hours. It feels so good to finally let it go.

Since this will be the last for the both of us, I got the chance to looked up and looked at his green eyes. Those eyes, gosh. I really love those. They are heaven.

Lucas' forehead was furrowed, he was confused obviously. But I hope he would grt it eventually because I don't want to live when something isn't clear for him yet. "W-what do you mean? What do you mean you can't?" He asked while starring on my eyes. I gulped when I felt there's something stucked inside my throat.

"You know, ever since Isobel came here from abroad, you didn't give me enough time anymore. I understand that you owe her alot due to some thing. Isobel helped you in everything you have right now. But, I couldn't stop myself not to get jealous and feel pain because the fact that you two have a thing before and you both had an intimate relationship before we have,"

At this point, I cried in front of him. Though, this isn't even my planned in the first place. My intention was just to split up with him and not to cry because that will make me look wear and fragile in front of him. I wanted him to see that I am good and I am fine splitting up with him because I have beared enough. I have resisted enough. But the thing right now fell far to what I've expected.

"O-ooh.. that? I am really sorry, baby. I was.. i was just so busy because-" I cutted him off. "No, Lucas. I don't need your explanation. I am already contented to what I've felt and to what I've witnessed, I don't need any explanations and clarifications right now, okay? I don't need it 'cause for fuck sake that wouldn't change the fact that I'm damaged!" I yelled at him that made Lucas stopped. My tears were kept on falling from my cheeks and I couldn't stop them even though I want to.

Lucas' eyes were teary too. But that I don't care anymore.

"You're lowkey cheating on me. So, let's end this so you could finally have fun and go back together with Isobel. " I wiped my own tears before I walked away. Lucas tried to held my hand but I always removed his hands from gripping me tightly. When I was 7 steps away from him, I turned and faced him and smiled for the last time.

"I am still really thankful for what you've done for me, Lucas. But that doesn't include hurting me,"

In just a blink of an eye I disappeared and used the fire exit stairs to leave. I don't want to use the elevators because someone would see me being like this. I cried while going down the stairs, that even ruined my make-up. There was huge window beside that could see the scenery outside. It was beautiful since it's already sunset.

The sun's bidding good bye slowly. The skies were eaten by colors purple and red-orange.

Hey, Lucas. The sunset is beautiful, isn't it?

It's really a beautiful way of ending a beautiful thing that happened in my life.

"Are you okay? How was it?" Alleiyah, my friend, rushed onto me as soon as she seen my walking towards his car. Apollo and Denixxe were there too. I smiled slightly to Alleiyah, I was just trying to say I am fine though my eyes were completely red.

"You ended it already, didn't you?" Apollo questioned to me. I nodded at him slowly as a response, I heard Denixxe gasps and saw how Alleiyah's chest fell. "Today is supposed to be your anniversary. But.... " Denixxe said but she was hesitated to continue to it.

"Let's go? I need to rest," I said. After crying I always feel dizziness and exhaustion, but today was different.