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Introdução
I can't remember why I got married. The young lovely and affectionate lady I was had been turned into a punching ball. All my young girl's dreams of a happy end have been shattered. What more than a man can make a woman feel useless, lose herself, her identity, her personality... etc... I used to take all this in the name of love. Now I can't even remember what it means to love and desire someone. All I feel is hatred, disgust for a man I spend all my nights with. And I end up with this questions; "Why can't I leave, why do I stick on this useless bastard?." Yet I find no answers. I'm so empty inside! I am like a void!.
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Capítulo

Once more thank you for clicking on my book.

This is entirely my imagination and some personal experiences.

ALL RIGHT RESERVED

- Please don't be too hard on me, I am just a beginner. An amateur in writing.

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- All constructive and helpful criticisms are allowed. But please no insults.

••• Vivian POV ¶¶•••

I seat on the sofa very depressed bleeding, not knowing the purpose of my life and existence, not knowing to who I can veer to reveal how I feel.

"Will they understand me?. No! they won't, after all who can best understand your pains apart from yourself!.

A few will try to infer yet won't succeed. If I voice it out many will later use it against me. So I better keep it to myself. After all, they say marriage is for better and for worse, If I'm still breathing it means God has a plan for me!” I got lost in my thoughts.

This is how I'm always most of the time, lost in my thoughts hoping to find a way out in vain.

"Mum, mum!” he yells with his soft angelic voice nothing more than this to brighten my dark miserable day.

He’s the only reason I'm still able to smile again in all these suffering, he gives meaning to my useless life.

"Mum! I’m getting late for school, again!” my 6-year-old son yells

"Sorry, eat your food!" I rapidly cuddle his shudder and I rush into my room to fix my face with some powder and thick foundation.

The Perfect Mr. Richardson's wife, the best couple in town! an example of a successful marriage. Is this true?.

However, this is what our community think of our union and that is it ok for me.

In public, I act pretending like everything is ok. Always with a big confident smile, very beautiful, dressed in very expensive clothes made by very famous stylists. Every woman's dream!.

In my long needle-like high hills, I walk gently in a very seductive catwalk making all mem crave for me and every woman envy me. This excitement is bewildering but once it turns into a veil, its results to some worthless display. To a certain point, it gets pathetic.

I crust all my scars with some glamour make-up!. I had no other choice but to become one of the best makeup artists in town. Just a part-time hobby thou. I mostly learned it for my personal use, with a husband like mine, it becomes very significant to master this arts.

"Mum... You are taking to much time!” my son screams

"One-minute son!” I yell from my room, rounding up with my make-up.

Once I'm done, I hurry downstairs to my son.

"How do I look!” I ask him.

"Cute!“ with his soft voice which helplessly appeals, my heart.

We both laugh at our weird looks. I suddenly kiss him, he tries to run away from my kiss in vain, I'm faster than him.

"iishhiii... mum you have stained my face with your lipstick!." he cries and I try to wipe it off.

"Everyone body will know that your mum loves you!” I laugh at him.

“Worse, I'm not a mommy's boy! I'm a man!” he exclaims trying to act bigger than his age this makes no difference but makes me laugh at him.

With that, we leave for school. I try him in my big car which is in my husband name, even the phone I have is in his name.

I'm happy this morning because my husband has traveled for a month. So I have time for myself, something I hardly have when he’s around. I can remember when this marriage turned into a prison.

After I left my son in school, I moved back home very happy and excited to enjoy every single moment like never before.

"Today, aren't going to work!” I stay in the house enjoying the fresh air and my empty house.

I cook with the music on and loud, dancing and I smoke some little weed I bought on my way back home. I hard it increases joy and makes everything seems like in being in the 7th heavens. I need to drift. However, it's just a little I bought not up to one-quarter Ozzie.

I open all the windows while I smoke a little while sipping two bottles of wine in the sport. I'm getting a little bit tipsy but I still have all my consciousness.

A few hours later, after school, I drive back to my son’s school to take him. I take him and we go for some ice cream in the nearest but nice ice cream shop, At least I can afford this for my son.

"Mum, you’re extremely happy, can you share the reason of your joy with me?“ asks me

"Sorry! but no” I nod at him with some conny smile, he frowns. "Just enjoy this with Mummy, no more questions!"

I kiss him while he sucks his cream.

"Burrrrcckkk...!“ he exclaims at my kiss with cream-filled in his mouth.

After the ice cream, we got back home.

I cooked his favorite.

“Thank you very much mum, I'm having a great day!” he kisses my jaw while he happily eats. It's been a while a gave him a nice treat, it's true certainly that a mother's tutor directly or indirectly affects her children.

.

.

I wish I could dwell like this forever, just my little son and I. My husband brings the hell out of me. I can't stand his presence anymore, yet I have to spend all my nights with the monster.

How I wish I hard family members to support me, perhaps my mum would have given me better advice or end up this misery called marriage.

Unfortunately for me, I'm an orphan since the age of 20, my closest relatives don't give a fuck about me, whether I'm alive or not.

All they’re interesting in was the bride price and the marriage ceremony since my spouse is a very rich man. After that they all vanished leaving me alone in this lion’s den.