"Em, I swear to God I get a foodgasm each time I eat one of these. Damn, you're good" Patrick, my very good friend says, moaning at the pink icing cupcake he is devouring.

"Thank you very much for your compliment Patrick, but that's your second box in the past fifteen minutes, I don't believe it is that good for you to want diabetes" I say and he chuckles, shoving half a cupcake into his mouth.

"It would surprise you" he says through a mouthful.

"Ew Patrick. Have some manners" I joke, knowing it is something he does all the time.

"Hello, Goodmorning" another customer says, and I leave Patrick to attend to her.

"Hi" I say with a bright smile "What can I get you?"

"A cup of cappuccino coffee and one slice of cheesecake and another slice of red velvet" she says and I nod.

"Please give me a few minutes" I say to her, smiling at her son.

I make a cup of cappuccino coffee in less than five minutes, and package one cheesecake and red velvet, adding three cupcakes just like the one Patrick was devouring for her little boy.

"Here you go. I added some sweets in there for this cutie" I say, pinching his adorable cheeks.

"What do you say baby?" She asks, staring at him with so much love.

"Tenkew" he says and I smile so wide my face hurt.

"Aww. How old is he?"

"Three" His mom replies, staring at him with a smile on her face

"He is adorable. Have a lovely day and hope to see you again"

"Definitely" she says and pays off, before leaving.

Seeing the little boy has me remembering the pregnancy scare I had three years ago just before my very potential relationship ended. I've always been that kind of girl that wanted to wait till at least I met the right person, and for me, Sebastian was that right person. He was everything I ever wanted in a man, and a man he truly was. But sometimes some things aren't meant to last, and my relationship was one of them, no matter how painful.

"Hey boo what you thinking about?" Patrick asks and for a moment I forget he's even here.

"Just the relationship with my ex"

"You really miss him don't you?" He asks, his expression sober

"Sometimes, yes. But mostly I miss what we had. Other times which is eighty percent most times, I ask myself why he didn't let me explain or why he didn't believe that I loved him too much to cheat on him. I mean I would have allowed him to explain if the roles were switched but I guess it is not always pink like you see it"

"Where do you think he is right now?" He asks and I shake my head in laughter.

"Now that is something I don't want to think about"

But by now, I believe he has already taken over his father's wine company, bringing in billions and big contracts because he was always that smart. I used to get so giddy when he would tell me that I was his muse and his inspiration to study hard and work hard, so he could give both of us a better life in the future. But here I am, in the future, without him here.

But that is all it is now, was was was was.

Now I have a life of my own, a life that I have to focus on and make it for myself. Being the sole owner of a coffee shop, baking sweet and making delicious coffees for people, I see myself as a motivation each day I serve someone a cup, because it helps them start their day. So yeah, maybe I am no more his muse, but I am my own muse.

I couldn't beg him to stay, neither could I beg him to listen. I may have loved him, but I am still a woman on my own, and I have my own dignity. I won't pin after a man and beg him to listen to me and allow me to defend myself for something I didn't do. I made my decision the moment he made his, so life went on and it still goes on.

"Oh crap" Patrick says, pulling me from my thoughts "I have to get going to work boo. See you later" he says and I smile, and we share pecks on the cheeks before he walks out, leaving me to myself.

I met him when I moved to England, and he has been a true friend every step of the way. At a point he had a crush on me, and I tried to give him a chance, but we both agreed it is best if we stay friends because honestly, he and I don't have that kind of chemistry. I don't want to believe that Sebastian ruined me for other men after my relationship with him ended because honestly, I haven't felt that kind of connection that I had with him with anyone else.

I have been on dates, trying to take it far and allow it to bloom, but it is just not the same.

That butterflies in the tummy feeling is not something I experience anymore, that moment when my heart skips a beat at the sight of someone, is not something that happens anymore as well. That moment in the late night when I'm not without my other person, when we text forever till the phone is left in my hand while I'm asleep, that craving of his presence, that feeling when I touch my lips and remember how I felt when he kissed me, I don't experience anything like that anymore.

But I don't dwell on it because maybe I haven't met the right person, and I have tried to convince myself everyday for the past three years that Sebastian is not my right person.

"Emmy!!!" Andrea, my bestfriend, who clicked with me so easily that it was scary, we have so much in common sometimes I wonder if she's my long lost sister- bursts into my coffee shop with her arms wide open and a big smile on her face.

"He asked me outtttt" she gushes and I immediately know what she is talking about, so I jump up and down like a three year old, clapping my hands and squealing with her.

"Oh my gosh Andrea, that is wonderful news and I am so happy for you"

"I know right? And he did it in the sweetest way, in front of everyone at work, handing me a bouquet of flowers and chocolates with some beautiful words. It is a simple gesture but it touched me so much" she says, her eyes misting with tears.

"Aww" I coo, pulling her into a hug. Her co-worker has been hitting on her for a while, and when they came here together the last time, I could see how much he adored her, so I am really happy he finally got the courage to ask her out.

"Have you two kissed?" I ask her with a smirk on my face and the blush that creeps to her cheeks and neck is all I need as an answer

"Yes. And my gosh" she sighs "It felt like a dream"

"That good?" I ask in amusement

"Now you are definitely teasing me Emmy" she says, swatting my arms.

Andrea works two jobs. One here and the other at the law firm where she works at. She mostly comes here to help me on weekends when she has no clients or cases to review, and she really doesn't have to do it but she claims she needs the money which we all know is a lie, she just wants to help me out.

"I'm happy for you Andrea, really" I say, touching her hand. She is one of those girls that need an extra push and reassurance to let her believe how beautiful she looks, because she is a true beauty but brings herself down. She has the blonde hair with blue eyes thing going on, with pink full lips and a feminine body meant for a model. I don't know what she's doing in a law firm, but then again I don't know what I'm doing in a coffee shop either.

I guess the things we love doing are not defined by how good we look.

"Thank you Emmy. I'm very happy too"

And that is all that matters.