Would you have defined our relationship as anything but amazing? Would the intricacies of loyalty and hate have played a huge whole in this unbelievable outcome we now call our love change anything or were we bound to this fate from the beginning?
I have always been what you define as a timid and naive girl. When I was younger I knew the concepts of our genders, but it was never something I cared for particularly. My father an alpha and my mother is a beta, their relationship seems healthy and for the most part happy. I was never necessary keen on labels as result, I never had to worry about my secondary gender. But the world is an ever-evolving arch which loves to define things. When I first met him he seems to agree, our conversations never strayed into the topic I had gotten used to being asked and being involved in, whether or not I was a beta or omega. No one ever asked if I was an alpha, but that's beside the point I guess.
When I was 8, I saw a boy running in the playground, the way he ran automatically drew me in, I looked for him so much that it drew me in to the point of oblivion and mesmerisation, but that was short-lived, as an 8-year-old, the notion and developmental stages of humanity had not yet managed to occur. At the first mistake, he did after calling a girl ugly at the playground, I saw him as my enemy and that crush and heart flutter I felt became non-existent.
The second person I ever loved, was a girl, she was an alpha, she was assertive and charming. Everyone thought she was cool and so did I. For 12 year old me, and other kids as well, she was the poster image of independent, savvy and hip and an alpha. I was mesmerised not by anything in particular as a result of her being a tomboy mind you, but rather as a result of her personality. She drew me in, her words, looking at them now, were shallow, and replicas of some secondary pop-culture meme. That ended rather well, I moved and that zipped the bag.
These temporary feelings of “love” transcended into my late teens, It didn’t matter what they identified as, I still had crushes on them individually. Now as an omega, when things started to get heated for other omegas my age, my heat never came, I was simply not interested. I had crushes, people I viewed as more than a crush, yet my heat never came. The doctor had said, it was because I wasn’t interested, and at that moment, I wanted to curse at him. I found people attractive, as I grew older, I accepted their inhibitions and flaws as part of their coding. I just didn’t have someone who I liked for a long time and that lasted.
I met him when I was 19, a dominant Alpha, he came to our school to pick up his sister, who was also in our class, and when my eyes met his, for the first time, I felt hate. I had never hated anyone before because they were simply no reasons to do so. I wasn’t prosecuted by anyone either and this man had never spoken to me or done anything to me to warrant this hate but, he stirred something in me. I knew when I met him, that he would bring me nothing but destruction. Although the feelings at that time, would not have been classified as so. I just hated him. He had smirked, although probably not directed to me, but subsequently, I felt as if he was mocking me. It felt as if I was an amusing clown in a circus and he was the spectator every time I crossed paths with him.
To get to where I am now I should have followed my feelings of hate and sometimes fear. I curse the younger me, even someone who I ever tell in the future will curse my stupid stupid younger self. I should have definitely run away. Like a moth drawn to the flame. I am the reason why my wings were burnt.
To get to this point where I am sitting opposite an old best friend, my husband and her parents as we are introduced to each other. Polygamy? What a joke Drake. If you had at least told me in advance I would have prepared myself. After all, I am an omega and in this world I have no say in what you do.