The big day has definitely come too quickly. Holed up under my duvet in my cozy little bed , I pretend to sleep in reality I don't really want or have the strength to get up to do anything, not even prepare myself to go to the job's interview which if I was getting it could change my life and, at least give some satisfaction to my parents who keep complaining about my behavior. Eva, my roommate, the exemplary daughter for my parents, has already left for work. Here I am like a ghost struggling to get up from the bed to which I seem to be tied. So I took my courage in both hands and went in the shower, no more time to waste. I don't even have breakfast, only my cup of coffee for the day, otherwise it will go bad.
On this big cloudy morning on the edge of my so-called new life in New York, my mind clouded by so many uncertainties and questions, I take the stairs that will lead me to the subway. The stairs slip under my feet and so many people with their serious mood are in a hurry and me I'm like lost in this din, having a job interview and I do not quite know what I am doing here, if I made the right choice. Why did I chose this life now and challenge myself so stupidly, to prove to people that I am responsible, that I can manage my life.
I jump into the wagon as if it was the last one and silently pray that it won't leave me on the platform for fear of turning back and go crying in my cocoon gorging me on sweets as I've often done in the past. This morning in my bed it hits me like a slap in the face. I had always lacked courage and was always afraid of what people would think of me without even thinking of improving myself. No emotional or sentimental stability I was scary and people took pity on me all the time. I've had enough. That's the main reason why I'm here in this vehicle in the middle of lots of stranger who didn't mind staring at me as if I were a lost alien on planet Earth.
What if i got it all wrong? so in fact the only thing I was looking for was to run away from my boring existence and the incessant complaints of my parents. it was too late to regret anything. no escape possible. I was looking at my watch: 7:25. no way !! in just 35 minutes, I was going to have to show increased self-sufficiency in order to show my recruiter that I was perfect for the job. the truth is, I didn't know. I just wanted to convince myself that I deserved this job more than anyone. it wasn't until a million swear words later that I got out of the car and set foot on the high street. I was sorely lacking in preparation for real life. For so many years I had done nothing but idealize a future without doing anything concrete, that's why once at the foot of the wall everything seems to me like an impassable mountain. I'm probably lying to myself by saying I'm perfect for this job, I who hate authority so much. I walked painfully down the street, failing to hit people over and over again. The wind blew my hair in all directions and the cold gripped my fingers. I checked my phone's GPS over and over again to make sure I was in the right place. I inspected the glass facade of the building in front of which I was standing and the signage next to the door cleared me of any possible doubt. I suddenly felt all the stress that job interviews were giving me. "make a good impression, smile and above all do not stammer" such are the 3 things I repeated to myself as I went up the floors of the building.
A woman in her forties was at the reception, talking on the phone, her head tilted a little back. Tall and slender looks like she made her life in a perfect model body. When her gaze finally fell on me she smiled with all her teeth and wasted no time in hanging up. I even suspected that she had cut the conversation short. Amused, I smile back, not failing to introduce myself
- Shaïa Cartney, I'm here for the interview for the post of editor's assistant.
She took care to detail me as if it suited her.
- Nice to meet you Shaïa, I'm Laura. do you want some coffee? oh you've already had it, noticing my cup of coffee. perfect then.
A quick tour of the offices was then made, the premises are quite nice and comfortable, a large classic conference room. Half an hour later I walked through the door of my future job, a little surprised and confused not to have had to demonstrate my skills and to achieve my goals so quickly. I knew full well that I wasn't signing up for the most hectic job of my life but I didn't really care at this moment. I'm leading so much that I better take care of my mind with it off-putting stains.
For now, I had the day ahead of me to reflect on the wave of novelty that I had voluntarily sought.