As I sit in bed, I can hear the silence in the house. I bent my head down in my hands, thumbing my fingers through my hair. Stress has completely consumed me.
I will graduate from high school soon, and I am so different from anyone else here. I am certain they would fear me if they knew what I was. And to be honest, I don't even know what I am.
I experienced a life-changing event at 13. There was nothing ordinary about me.
I remember pitching a tent while camping in my backyard. Forests and wilderness appeal to me since I love the outdoors.
I would sleep in my tent in the backyard. At first, my parents thought it was odd, but then they realized I was just an outdoorsy person.
I went out into the night under a crescent moon.
I was lying in my sleeping bag reading Nancy Drew 99 steps. Mystery stories are my favorite. While using my cell phone as a nightlight, I noticed nothing was off when I was reading.
In a flash, I flinched and tried to get up, but I just fell back onto the bed. Is there something wrong? Why are my bones breaking like crazy?
The burning stops, and the pain goes away after several minutes. I probably strained my muscles by moving them incorrectly or by working too hard in gym class.
When I lay down, I realize I'm not myself. I am who I am, yet I am not who I am. My body has a beautiful white and gold fur covering.
I have a small gold crown-shaped patch on the right side of my white fur.
To be honest, I'm freaking out.
Even though my fur is beautiful, I do not care about it. Because I'm a freaking wolf, I've got claws, ears, and I can't speak in a normal voice. My only sound is an almost musical howl.
Immediately, I halt, unable to avoid slamming into a fallen log amid a pile of fallen leaves.
As I lie in the brown and gold fallen leaves, I am confused and sore from slipping into this log.
As the voice continues, "I am your wolf." Even though we are the same mentally, yet we are not the same in spirit." Mentally, I respond,
"Okay, I'm crazy now. I know I'm crazy, but let's pretend I'm not. Can I ask what your name is?
The voice replied softly, "I'm KiKi
and we're werewolves. We are more attractive and stronger than any human being."
I reply stuttering, "Will I stay this way, or will I ever be human again?"
I was completely unprepared for this, so I asked KiKi. How could a person prepare to turn into a wolf?
KiKi felt like she was hugging me from inside and stated, "We are one and most of the time we will be in our human form."
Kiki replies, "Yes."
"Are there other beings like us? Kiki ponders the question.
"Are my parents like us, but they never told me?"
" I am new to this world, so I cannot answer your question about your parents. I will have to get their scent before I can be certain.
I have been with you since you were born. Until the child reaches puberty, wolves hibernate."
The ones who get their wolves awaken younger
come from Alpha or Royal lines of wolves. So essentially I just woke up from my slumber."
Now that I am getting ready to graduate high school, my memories of that night flood back to me. Since Kiki came into my life, she's smelled nothing like us.
It was so disheartening to hear that. Even in retrospect, it deeply saddened me. My parents were very dear to me. Biologically, they are not my genetic parents. According to Kiki, only pure werewolves could be my biological parents. I remember asking myself then, "Why didn't they tell me they adopted me?" Kiki knew far less than I knew. The origins of my family or how we ended up at my adoptive parents' home.
It is imperative for me to know how they adopted me. Were they familiar with my parents? What is my real identity? I won't divulge my werewolf identity. Now, I simply cannot. People I love should not look at me as if I am some horrifying monster from a movie. They were so precious to me. My parents were loving and kind to me. They were so good to me that if I hadn't turned into a wolf, I never would have known I wasn't their biological child. But now I must run and think and feel the night breeze against my fur.
Leaving the house, Kiki and I head out. Kiki takes over and barrels over the fence towards the woods, where we sit on that same log that has weathered over time since we first sat here. Shifting back into human form, I realize how many times this has happened. Nobody ever ventures out in the middle of the night into the forest near the graveyard.
"Kiki? What will we do? I'm not even allowed to have a boyfriend or friends here at my house. We get angry and we become extremely violent. I don't want to harm anyone, although I'm afraid of leaving my parents." Kiki huffs. "Well, we shouldn't be kissing boys, anyway. That is why I brought out my claws. There is a special wolf out there for us. It will force us to find others like us."
"Kiki, I love my parents so much, but I am still trying to figure out who I am. Where I came from before. My parents need to hear what I am saying and how I feel. It will be tomorrow after school." I proclaim. I didn't want to offend them, however I needed to know.
Early the next morning, the sun shines through the windowpane as I cover my eyes and toss to the side facing the other way. I hear my mother open the door. "Come on, young lady, get up! You need to get ready for school and still have time to eat first. Come on, this is the last few months of High School – enjoy it. Now get out of bed!" I groan and throw my legs over the side of the bed. My mother turns and heads out of the room as soon as she knows I am getting ready.
I look through my closet and just moan. I need new clothes; I am so bored with my clothes I have right now. Have you ever looked in the fridge and there was lots of food there, yet you felt like there wasn't anything to eat? That is how I feel looking into my closet today.
It is so beautiful and sunny out. Still a little nippy, though. I want to wear something that yells Spring in it.
I look at my baby pink sweater that hangs off one shoulder and think, "Perfect" this will do. Wearing my white jeans along with pink and white Sketchers, I get ready.
I sit in front of the mirror on my vanity. Uggghh my hair! What am I going to do? I have light blonde hair that leans more towards blonde to give it a cute effect, I just tie it up in a ponytail and leave out a few strands. The cute effect.
I lightly dab on some foundation, blush, and mascara. "I look great! " I think to myself. My wolf snorts "Conceited much?"
I laugh at her and say, "You are just jealous Kiki" Kiki snorts again, "Whatever!"