I don't remember much about that night, just fragments that comes to taunt me once in a while. I wonder why I keep thinking about that day. Rain pouring so hard like it could wash away everything. Still remember the smell of burnt rubber, headlines flashing the wrong way as if they couldn't decide whether to stay on or off.

And a dark hair boy, barely concious with his eyes fighting to remain open, a stream of blood slilding down his face. For a second his eyes found mine, pleading for help. I felt his cry without hearing his voice.

I quickly rushed and told him to stay still. I don't know why he couldn't say anything. I held his cold hands while calling for help. Whispering to him everything will be okay, at a point I wasn't sure either

I was convincing him or myself. Not too long I saw someone running to our direction with a flashlight.

Before I knew it, people were everywhere, some trying to see what was going on, some taking videos, some trying to help someone remaining in the car. Someone pulled me away and I didn't get the chance to see his face again.

I was twelve when it happened and I hadn't thought about it for so long.

''Zara'', I heard my name being called.

The kitchen isn't going to clean itself, Daine's voice came through the door.

I'd stopped callling her 'stepmother' in my head a long time ago. It took too much effort to hold onto those words everyday.

I got up. The floor cold and bare, wore a brown hoodie over my pajamas, my room being the smallest in the house, It used to be an office before my dad remarried.

Downstairs, the kitchen was a mess from Madison's friends the night before, no one has touched the dishwasher. I started cleaning up the place, then looked out at the backyard, frost on the grass, the maple tree my mom planted years ago standing bare against the sky, I couldn't bring myself to look at it for too long. There wasn't time, and they wasn't any need.

Madison came down while I was brewing the coffee, her blonde hair freshly done, scrollling through her phone without a care in the world. For a minute I seemed to have forgetten she was the one that caused this mess with her friends.

''Is it ready.'' she asked.

I didn't know either it was a question for me or just a question at the room.

My dad came down a minute later, tie loose, hair scattered like he has ran throught it a lot, eyes tired in that way they'd been for months, looking like he's been holding things he doesn't know how to put down anymore.

"Morning dad," I greeted.

He just casually nodded, reaching past me for his mug. "Morning".

That was usually it, I've gotten used to it and stopped expecting for more than that.

Diane cames down last, gym clothes on, gold earring even though she was only going as far as the treadmill. She looked at the corner, her gaze directed at me and something in her eyes told me it was going to be one of those mornings.

"You didn't press Madison's dress," she said looking directly at me, a look saying she wasn't going to go easy on me today.

''I didn't know she needed it today,'' I replied.

''You should've known she has that dinner,'' she replied.

What dinner, I thought.

Even though she has a dinner what does that has to do with me. I just kept it with me knowing I didn't have the courage to say what I was thinking.

I didn't answer. There wasn't an answer that would've fixed it, so I'd stopped offering it, I quietly went back to wiping the counter.

I was rinsing the coffee pot when I heard when dad's voice dropped low in the dinning room, the kind of low that meant he didn't want it heard.

I turned down the tap without thinking.

''-if this doesn't come through, I don't know what we can do, the bank isn't going to wait another quarter.''

"You worry too much. Karen already talked to his people, Its's basically settled." Daine said

''It's not that simple, his family-" my dad continued.

"It'll be fine, Madison will be perfect for him." She's beautiful, sharp , she knows how to carry herself, he'll be lucky.

I quietly thought whether it was the same Madison I knew, but it had nothing to do with me.

A marriage, I should be happy, with her gone the house chores and work load will reduce.

I dried my hands and started stacking the mugs, because that was what I did with things that weren't mine to worry about. I'll put them away and move on.

The dinning room went quiet for a second. Then my dad said something I didn't catch.

Suddenly, Daine's voice came back sharp , almost as a warning.

"Don't tell her that yet, not until it's finalized.''

I froze with a mug still in my hand.

Don't tell who? Tell her what! I wondered what it could be that they were hiding is it the marriage or something different entirely.

Footsteps started toward the kitchen. I quickly set the mug down, grabbed a towel I saw, and made myself look busy. wiped the counter that was already clean, just then my dad appeared in the doorway, and behind him, Diane, watching me a little too closely for someone who'd just been talking about her own daughter's wedding.

"Zara," my dad said.

"Can you come to my study for a second?"

"We need to talk to you about something."

My mind started racing, what could it be about- madison's wedding or something different entirely.