Drowning was better than living.
“Mom, I'm so excited for tomorrow!" A twinkle in the twelve years old's eyes makes the woman chuckle at her cuteness. "What do you think I'm gonna be presented as?”
The wrinkled blanket rustled as her mother pulled it to tuck her in.
“Don't worry about it, sweetie. I know you're going to make me proud. Just like your brothers and sisters.” A gentle kiss landed on her daughter's forehead.
The excitement was visible through her small face, with a smile so wide one would melt in its presents.
“I hope I get to be an alpha like Eva." Her eyes then widened, "Oh! Or even omega like Emile and Elena!”
Her small finger taps her chin, probably wondering which she favors more.
“That's right, honey…” A gentle thumb tracing her soft cheek, “...as long as you're not a beta, everything will be well. Alright?”
She nodded cheerfully.
“Good night, mom.” She smiles at her mother, fluttering her eyes close to her dreamland. Along with a faint whisper.
“That's right. As long as you're not a beta.”
–
Emma Grey
My eyes fluttered open as I was awakened from my slumber.
That dream again. Lately, it has appeared quite frequently.
My hand flew towards my face, intending to rub the sleep away before I halted.
Tears?
I sighed.
A creaking sound fills the room as I shift on my bed to my side. The patter on the window indicates that it was still raining.
My eyes hollowly followed the sound, lost in the darkness of the night where it sickenly reminded me of that day.
The fateful day.
The day I felt myself drowning, better off dead. The day I was presented as a Beta.
—
“Emma, wake up! We're going to be late to the assembly.” Elena's voice jolted me awake.
“What time is it?” I stretched my hand wide, until I heard a pop in my bone.
That feels refreshing.
“Move your butt, Em. It's already 8.” She huffed, throwing my towel across the room before it landed straight on my face.
Her answer, however, made me spring up so quickly a headache coursed through my skull. I get on my feet slowly, cease for it to finally subsided.
It must've been from the lack of sleep last night. It was only after four in the morning that I could force myself into slumber again.
"What's wrong?" Her steps resounded closer towards my bed, concern laced in her words.
"No, nothing. Just a headache. I'll be ready in a minute." I forced a smile, walking past her as I headed to the bathroom.
She sighed. "Alright, if you say so. I'll be downstairs if you need anything." She muttered, walking towards the stairs, not before offering me a smile of comfort.
"Okay." Was all I could utter before giving her a similar one.
Reaching the bathroom, I lazily place the towel on the door hook. Trudging to the sink before catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
The figure seemed similar yet so different in my eyes compared to when I was younger. Gone was the excitement and enthusiasm sparkled through my features.
What was left was exhaustion and despair.
I sighed. Seeing the ugly scars latched to my skin had me loathed the reflection of myself. My eyes instantly turned away from the mirror.
What am I even doing?
Not wanting to waste any time, I removed all my clothes as I shuffled to the shower.
The water ran down my body, making me shiver in the cold of the morning.
I wondered if mom and the others had awakened. Above all, I should probably leave before she sees me, furiating her was the last thing I wanted to do.
My hand hurriedly moved, snatching the towel from where I left it, wrapping it onto my body as I left the bathroom.
Yeah, I definitely should.
–
“There you are. Here, eat your breakfast.” Elena muttered, noticing my presents as she put the plates on the table. I scanned through the food with a smile laced on my lips.
Scrambled egg and sausages, my favorite.
I felt my legs move on their own, hugging her from behind. “Thank you, El.”
She seemed startled by my actions before regaining herself. She chuckled softly, wrapping her arms around mine.
“Someone's getting sappy.” She snickered, which I only returned with a huff to her replies. “Now, eat your breakfast. We have to leave before they get here.” She patted my arms lightly.
My lips twitched to a frown, the dream from last night unconsciously haunt my thoughts again.
“I know.” I mumbled, releasing her with a pat on her shoulder.
She's right. It would be a disaster if mom had seen me.
Elena looked troubled, as if trying to form any words that could ease the air in the room. Though she was probably against it as she proceeded to eat her breakfast.
For a couple of minutes, only the clanking of our cutleries surrounded the room before I heard murmurs coming from upstairs.
Our eyes both widened, exchanging looks before she stood abruptly. Her chair screeched on the floor, making me winced to the sound.
The murmurs seem to stop for a second, which begins to freak me out. Instinctively, she hurriedly walked towards me, her hand efficiently took both of our plates, rinsing it.
Before I could even say anything, she grabbed my wrist tightly, leading me towards the door.
As I was about to step out of my house, I stubbornly turned towards the stairs. And there, I saw her.
Her wrinkles were visible with the smile plastered on her face, chatting with Eva, my sister, and probably enticed by my brother's antics.
Seeing it with my own eyes, it makes me wonder.
When was the last time she ever made that expression to me?
–
“We're already far from home, El.” I panted as she kept on running. She abruptly halted, eyes scanning around the camp before slowly releasing my wrist.
“Sorry, I kind of panicked there.” Her hand moved to hold onto her bag strap tightly.
“Don't worry, Elena. I don't think they saw us there. Although, we barely make it in time.” I huffed a laugh, trying to lighten up the mood. Though I don't think it was a success seeing her frown deeper than before.
“How can you be so fine with it? I don't understand. We're family, Em." Her eyes look straight into mine, clarifying her disappointment towards our family.
I was jolted by her sudden outburst.
"Why would she do this to you?” Her fingers clenching. “It's already been 8 years, for god sake. You didn’t choose to be born in this pack, you didn’t choose to be presented as—“ She bit her lips.
Tears began to form as she turned her face away.
I pressed my lips tightly. It wasn't as if I didn't know what she was thinking.
If it's in another pack, as far as I've heard of, beta are considered as one of the respected groups among others.
Hell, every group should be respected.
But why was it so different here? Why are betas treated this way? Why am I born this way? I forced myself to hold the tears that started brimming in my eyes.
No, I couldn't waste any more tears. I promised myself years ago.
It was the only thing I could do to keep me from falling apart.
I wouldn't dare burden her more with my unwanted problems. Having only her on my back amongst my family was more than what I could have wished for.
The winds blew peacefully that morning.
As if carrying away our uncertainties to the heavens as we both continued our way to the assembly.
–
The assembly hall was located not far from our house. It only took about twenty minutes to reach there by running earlier.
Everyone here called it an assembly hall. Though, it was mostly a vast field with a wooden stage in the middle.
It suited us, though. We all gathered here before we prepared ourselves to hunt in the woods.
Strategical, I must say.
“Em, I'm going to my section now. I’ll meet you after the hunt, okay?” She smiled, patting my shoulder. Her fingers lightly tightened on it before releasing it down.
“Yeah, see you later.” I returned her smile, giving her a quick nod.
Seeing her swiftly turned towards her section, greeting her friends, my eyes traveled elsewhere.
Now, where was that idiotic girl?
I took a light step, strolling towards my section. My eyes ran across the field, searching for her figure.
Was she not here yet– Ah, there she was!
In the distance, I found her crouching on her own, probably plucking the grass while at it. Her demeanor had my lips twitching to a fond smile.
I stomped towards her direction, and it, in fact, did successfully perk her attention.
Noticing my presence, she cheerfully rose on her feet. A smile graced her features as she waved her hand back and forth.
However, it was all for a quick second before her smile suddenly turned into a frown. The excitement on her features went dimmer to fear in an instant.
My brow furrowed.
What's wrong with her?
“Lina, wha—“ Before I could even inquire, a shadow of an uninvited tall figure suddenly loomed over me.
“Well, well, well.” My track stopped.
Shivers ran through my spine as my whole body trembled the second I registered his voice.
“Look who we have here." I could hear it loud and clear.
His sickening smile.