"FATHER, I HAVE SINNED. I HAVE A CONFESSION."

I lean against the confession booth and sob silently. I hate my life, I hate everything. Do you know that feeling of wanting something badly and then your best friend took it away? I felt useless for letting it happen in the first place.

"What is it my child?" The priest's voice comes out through the window.

I sniffle and sob. I don't even know where to start from. I remembered my tiny little self and my family. But where are they? They turned their backs on me.

Few days earlier...

"I'm really happy for you Ariel for finally being a sister in church." Leslie said from beside me. We were at the dining room eating cause dad decided to make a family dinner to celebrate my success. I've been called into the convent to be a nun. That's been my dream since high school.

It's normal for me. Naturally I'm an introvert and possibly I love my simple life. I'm not really the type who wanna get involved with friends or even the media. Father hated it. He's a deacon in our parish and he's really respected. We've lived our life in truth and fear of God. I think that's one of the reasons my parents hated social gathering. I'd never had a boyfriend and I'm really grateful because I've always wanted to be a nun.

Weird part is no boy ever asked me out. I'm this crazy nerd back then in high school but I care not. Leslie was a little normal, because she sorts of had admirers. I dress normal. Like every normal Christian daughter who's a Deacon's daughter.

"My baby is gonna be the first sister in this house. I'm glad you kept your virginity." Mom chuckled with a wide smile.

"Virginity doesn't decide if you can qualify being a sister." Leslie said.

"That doesn't matter. She took a good step and I'm happy she's finally taking her vows." Mom giggles.

"When are you going back?" Alexa asked. She's my cousin and too naughty. She likes boys and always wanna dress fancy. Dad sees her as a bad egg and hated seeing her around our apartment. Nobody dares to make hell in our house.

"Tomorrow." I replied to her. The rest of the evening was really exciting because my parents spend the entire evening advising me.

.

The following day I left the house for my new home. The convent. I met the mother superior who announced I'll be taking my vows the following day. I've spent almost two and a half months here and it was better than I thought. I guess that's what nerds deserve.

"Hey Freddie." I said on the phone. Freddie's my best friend. We've been friends since elementary school and finally till we left high school.

"Sup Ariel."

"I'm fine. How are you?"

He sighed." I'm good. I sort of missed my best friend. What are you doing?"

"Nothing. I met the mother superior and she said I'm taking my vows tomorrow. Hope you're good?" I asked him on the phone.

"Yeah. I really haven't seen you since prom night. Truth is I'm really glad you're finally becoming a sister in church." I smiled and stared at my reflection in the mirror. My parents are not even aware I have a male best friend. I'm sure they would have gotten rid of him.

"Are you back from Florida?"

"Yeah. I'm in the states now."

"Okay. I'm gonna drive to your house and possibly spend few hours before returning back to the convent."

"That'll be nice of you." I nodded to nothing and hung up.

I remembered when we were in high school close to prom. Freddie's the first person who ever told me I'm really beautiful and I believed that. I once had a crush on him in junior year but i made sure I didn't tell him. We were always together and we both won homecoming. I love that night, that was the night he told me i was beautiful. Afterwards I hoped he was gonna tell me he liked me but then he told me he had a huge crush on Aida. Then she was school's most popular girl.

I hated her, I've always hated her. She was a bully, always made me feel inferior like I was nothing. Making jest of my looks and everything about me. And when Freddie told me he liked her, i hated her more. I cried that day at school's bathroom and cursed her endlessly. She took what I've always wanted. Sadly they dated and Freddie was really happy. I've never seen him that happy before.

I moved on. Looked at my reflection and decided to take back everything. Maybe that was when I discovered I was supposed to be a sister, not getting angry at my best friend because he didn't have feelings for me. Unluckily they broke up. Aida dumped Freddie for school's new hottie.

"Ariel..." Freddie smiled and hugged me once I reached his apartment. I've been here once and since then it's void.

"Wow. Look at you Freddie. How long have i seen you?"

"A year ago." I chuckled and smile.

"Please sit." He offered and I nodded before sitting.

"What should I get you?"

"Maybe water."

"I'll be right back." I watched Freddie turn to a corner which I assume it's the kitchen. My eyes glanced at the TV set and everything around his apartment. I forgot to mention, Freddie's parents are sort of rich though.

"There you go..." he motioned to me giving me a glass of water.

"Thank you." I told him and gently take a sip.

"You're welcome. How's it been with you? Look at you, you look more beautiful Ariel. It hurts a little that you're now in the convent." Oh really?

"It's what I've always wanted." I defend.

"Really? I remembered when we were in high school, you've always wanted to go to college and then major in clinical psychology or maybe business."

"Pftt." I scoff and stare blankly at him. Where's he trying to dive to? I think we all have our own rights to make our own choices, right?

"Freddie are you okay?" I asked him and dropped the glass of water on the table.

"Of course I am." He smiled." Are you done drinking?" He motioned to the water.

"Not really." I blinked and took a sip again. I felt a bit dizzy. I drop back the water and rub my already sweaty palm on my habit.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just feel a little dizzy. I'm good." No I'm not good. My head's pounding and I felt weak.

Freddie smiled at me and his frequent smiles are giving me creeps. What is happening to me? He stood up from his chair and sat close to me. I wanted to move a little but I trusted him, he's my best friend.