Lydia Parker - Ten Months ago
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU did that! I hate you right now!"
My daughter's words echoed in my head as I turned the car toward downtown. I wanted to talk about it, but I knew I would be wasting my breath until she calmed down.
So, I ignored Tru, who fumed in the backseat, preferring to sit as far away from me as possible. I imagined what she was thinking:
I have the most overprotective mother on the planet! You embarrassed me in front of all my friends! I'm the only person in my entire school who isn't at that party.
I took a deep breath and unclenched my hands from the steering wheel. Getting angry was not going to help, and neither was feeling guilty. Sure, I knew the parents of the girl who threw the party. Sure, they seemed like a nice family. But, if I had learned anything during my forty years as a schoolteacher, it was that families were more than they appeared on the outside, and that really weird stuff happened in the "nice" families as often as it did in the more suspect ones. Didn't Tru watch the news? Every time I turned it on, another kid had gone missing, another college student had overdosed - and worse. I thought she had more sense. Besides, I had told Tru that she couldn't go, and she had gone anyway. She knew the consequences and now she was grounded. Parents had to follow through with their rules. Kids needed boundaries. I loved my daughter, and even though it meant being the enemy for the moment, I would not let her down like my parents had my sister.
Caroline. That was another reason I wanted to keep Tru close right now. Who was I kidding? It superseded all the other reasons.
I could not believe Caroline was back from the dead. It had been over ten years since she had died. Since I thought she died. And Caroline was different, in a bad way. She seemed scattered and paranoid. We'd met in private and Caroline insisted that I swear on our mother's grave not to tell anyone about her. She said it was better if everyone thought she was dead. Who was she running from?
Perhaps the most jarring difference was how young my sister looked. I was sixty-five and ten years older than my sister, but Caroline had looked as young as the last time I'd seen her - over twenty years ago! I almost didn't believe it was Caroline. But then she had talked about things only my sister would know.
That's when I decided she was doing drugs. Yet ... What if she was in some kind of pharmaceutical drug experiment? With Caroline, it could be anything.
And the things she had said. They were fantastical! Caroline had truly lost it. She rambled about her baby dying, about being "collected," about someone forcing her to fix people, and running away. And then she said she had secrets, many secrets. Well, obviously! I wasn't sure I wanted to know any of her secrets. I definitely didn't want her anywhere near my family. Caroline was certifiable.
But, as her only remaining relative how could I turn her away? I bit my lip, feelings of remorse crumbling my resolve. No, I wouldn't feel guilty. Straightening my shoulders, I found the metal spine I was known for. I had acted in good faith and I wasn't going to ruin another life trying to fix one that was already too far-gone.
Somewhere in my conversation with Caroline, I remembered Uriel, her odd husband whom I had met only once or twice. When I asked if he was alive, too, she shook her head. Uriel was dead. Frankly, I didn't know what to believe. Then Caroline followed that news by telling me there was a new man in her life. That she loved him. That he was her other half, or some malarkey like that.
But I knew my sister to be flighty and mercurial. She had drifted from one catastrophe to another her whole life. Now it was up to me to figure out what to do with her. Tonight, I would tell James. I pressed a hand into my chest, feeling my heartburn start up. Or was it guilt? I should have told him already, but some part of me had wanted to believe in my sister. Now Caroline wanted to meet again, secretly. It had to stop. I would be enabling Caroline if I allowed this to go on. Besides, if she figured out - well, no, that just wasn't an option. I shuddered at the thought. The next time we met, James would come with me. We would convince her to go to the hospital. That's just how it would have to be.
With my decision made, I felt much of my earlier tension evaporate and realized I had almost reached my next stop. Downtown. I cracked the car window, allowing the night air to drift in. It had been a short drive from the party. One of the perks of living where we did.
I loved the sleepy little town of Scotts Valley. It was close enough to the ocean, but far enough away from the famous beach town of Santa Cruz that I didn't have to deal with too many tourists. It was a family town in the middle of the Santa Cruz Mountains, and its constant smell of pine and redwood infiltrated the car, refreshing me, regenerating me as it always did. I pulled over to park along the street across from a coffee shop.
"Tru, I'm just stopping to grab some newspapers for tomorrow's class. I'm subbing for Mrs. Alvarez. She's out on maternity leave."
There was no response, and I sighed. "I'll only be a minute." Parenting had its drawbacks. Tonight, for instance. Disciplining was the worst part, in my opinion, but Tru was worth all the stress. One day she would understand.
I started across the street toward a newspaper machine hoping to find a few papers left in it. I didn't want to prolong this little field trip more than necessary. Even from the backseat Tru's anger slammed into me like furious ocean waves. It would be good to get home to James. It wouldn't be the first time he played the buffer between Tru and me.
Just as I reached the middle of the road, a car roared around the corner, its lights blinding me.
"No!"