VOLUME ONE: HURRICANE

Tatum

I jerk my head upright as the roar of a motorcycle breaks through the otherwise peaceful Bowling Green, Kentucky morning. The book on my phone's reading app is forgotten as I put a hand to my chest and cut my gaze directly across from Cash's Customs, the body shop specializing in foreign makes and models I work at. Walker's Wheels, which specializes in domestic vehicles and motorcycles, is my dad's shop, and the man leaving the parking lot is the one who pissed me off a year ago. In all honesty, he's still pissing me off. I glare at his leather-jacket covered back as he rides down the street. Pissed off because he ruined my concentration, I try not to think about how the guttural sound of the engine mimics the way he moaned when he came. Remembering our interlude in the garage of the Heaven Hill Clubhouse does nothing but make me angry – angry that things aren't different than they are right now.

“It's been a year Tatum, you ever gonna talk to him again?"

My eyes roll by themselves as I shift my weight to one hip. Leaning back against the counter with my other, I shoot a glare at my boss. Cash Montgomery has been fair to me, but this question? Makes me purse my lips and roll my eyes heavenward, letting out a huge sigh to go along with it.

“You think I should just because he's your brother?"

He shakes his head, running a hand over his scruffy jaw. “I'm just a guy who knows that guys screw up, and I'm wondering if maybe you aren't overreacting."

“Overreacting?" I spit the word out like it's on fire. “You have no idea what went down with us last January. Boss, friend, and his brother, or not, you should probably shut the fuck up."

It was still embarrassing, the way we'd treated each other. I almost wish he'd left me on the side of the road. For weeks after, I'd cried, trying to figure out where the fuck we'd messed up. How had we gone from this crazy attraction that suffocated a room when we were in it together to me having sex with another guy? I know that part was my fault, and I feel guilty. I wish I could take it back. That part of my personality is a bitch – ya know the one where I have to hurt anyone who hurts me worse? Truthfully, I think I learned my lesson this time.

The words Remy spoke to me still ring in my ears. Are you proud of yourself? Even today, they cause goosebumps on my arms, and I rub my hands up and down the flesh to warm it. I hate the way we left things; I would change it if I could. But I can't be hurt again by him, and I don't think I can stand to hurt him, either. No matter how much I've had to harden my heart to him, I know it's the right thing to do. We can't seem to be mature around each other – we get stupid. Not speaking to him is my way to keep my head about me. I know the minute I give in, it'll be like it always was with us. He'll give me that sexy smirk he doesn't give anyone else, be his quiet, brooding self, and I'll be doe-eyed again, wanting to know all the secrets he keeps. Nobody knows how difficult this has been for me. We were good friends. I want to talk to him, I want his opinion on things, and I sure as fuck don't want to have to avoid him at every club get together. We were building something, even if others didn't know it, even if I was the only one willing to put my heart out there. Remington Sawyer has always been a loner – quiet, closed off, and happy to spend time on his own. I wanted to change that, be the person he could be his true self with, but we never got the chance.

“I'm gonna take lunch if that's okay with you."

Cash gives me a grin, and for a moment I'm reminded hardcore of Remy. In looks, they don't favor each other, having different fathers. In mannerisms and smiles, they could be twins. “You're gonna do it whether I say it's okay or not, girl. Go ahead, I need to run by the bakery and pick up something from Harper anyway. Just stick a note on the door saying when we'll be back."

“Will do, see you in about an hour."

I watch as he leaves, then stick a note on the door, giving the lock a turn. When I hear the click, I go to the back of the building and let myself out. Quickly I arm the alarm for the garage and get to my car, cranking up the heat and checking out the gray sky. The clouds are low today, a low-ceiling I've heard it called. Later on in the day, they're calling for rain, and given how cold it is, it might turn into something more.

It's reminiscent of the day last year when Remy and I stopped speaking to one another. I have no desire to relive that day, and stupid me never realized it'd be such a turning point in my life.

Remington Sawyer. I shake my head as I think of the teenager I met when I wasn't even a teenager myself and the man he's become. Even now, I get chills when I think about him. He's an addiction I can't quite kick, one I'm not sure I want to. As much as I want to feel his hand in mine, get more kisses, and generally have him around, the stubborn part of my personality won't allow it. Especially not when he's the one who created the issue by telling me I'm too young for him, thinking I don't know my own mind.

What a fucking joke. I've known my own mind since I was old enough to know what love and sex are. My parents, Liam and Denise Walker, aren't shy when it comes to showing how much they care for each other. I've grown up with a very healthy respect for marriage and sexuality, and I've wanted that with Remy since I realized the thumping of my heart when he's around meant I like him in a way that's not going anywhere anytime soon.

I threw myself at him. Let him take the first orgasm I'd never given to myself at a club party, and then given him the same pleasure before he pushed me away. Talking some shit about him being too old for me and he respected me too much to take my virginity.

“Oh, my virginity." I curl my nose up as I make a left-hand turn at the end of Louisville Road heading for the strip of fast food restaurants, hoping that at least one of them didn't have a line for lunch rush.

Thinking back to the night I gave my virginity to someone else, just to get rid of the obstacle, still causes a pain so deep it makes my chest hurt. Rubbing my hand against my breastbone, I wonder when that pain will go away. Because what happened that night set into motion this face-off between the two of us, and it looks like neither one is willing to give in anytime soon.

And that sucks, because before all of this happened, he'd been one of my best friends, and fuck if I don't miss him. But I have enough friends. Tatum Walker wants a love like her parents, like my brother and sister have with their significant others, like every other member of the Heaven Hill MC has, and I'm not going to settle until I get it. Never again will I settle. Settling hurts, and I've had enough of that to last a lifetime.