AVERY
"I love you." There I said it. Well, not me. It's the vodka. I seriously shouldn't have had that much alcohol. I usually don't but hey, it's my graduation day. I can have a little fun. But yeah I never thought that fun would have any sort of consequences.
"You do?" His voice comes out in a raspy whisper. I nod looking directly into his eyes so that he can see the truth in my eyes.
"And not in a platonic way. " I add quickly.
Marcus has been my best friend since I can remember and I've been in love with him since I realized what falling in love is. I knew it was wrong to be letting any sort of emotion building inside me for him. And it's not like I haven't tried to kill those feelings, only they have grown and strengthened over these years.
You know that kind of best friend who has been living in your neighborhood, having sleepovers, having lunch and dinner at your house, keeping their things at your house and basically living with you? That's who Marcus has always been. Ever since I was born, we have been inseparable. Our parents knew it and so did we. Finally, when we were about to start college, we remained stuck with our original plan and moved in together.
And you know the worst part? Along with those silly feelings, I started noticing those things which I never had. Like seeing a shirtless Marcus wasn't something I haven't experienced as a child but imaging my hands on his naked chest was a problem I started facing. I ended up requesting him to keep a shirt on while moving around the apartment. Luckily, we had separate rooms but even that wouldn't have been the case if his father and my uncle wouldn't have seen the probability of future grandchildren and prevented that from happening.
However, my parents didn't get to encounter my 'friendship' with Marcus. I was three when they got into a car accident and I lost them. My Uncle Tom lived in the same neighborhood so I didn't have to stay away from Marc when I moved in with them.
Julie, my cousin knew about my feelings for Marc and have been insisting me to make a move for since long. But the same old fear of spoiling the friendship has kept stopping me. And probably I did that very thing by blurting out my feelings. I probably should have added 'in a platonic way'. I am frantically searching for a way to cover this mess when Marc speaks again.
"I love you, Avy girl, and not at all in a platonic way!" Barely has the words left his mouth when I smash my lips against his. Caught off guard at first, he stills and then slowly eases into the kiss and starts kissing me back. The sweet and sombre first kiss turns into a hungry demanding one in no time. I don't know what came over me that I did it. The best part? I don't regret doing it. After all, it's about time.
Finally, he pulls away and we look into each other's eye, panting. Both of our faces are hot and we are merely holding back the happiness on our faces. "Let's take the celebration home," he says in a husky whisper. I haven't seen this side of Marc, like ever. And I would surely love to learn more about it.
Oh. Fuck! Yeah! I eagerly nod and he lets out a sigh and drops me on my feet. I feel a sudden lack of warmth but I remind myself that I am going to be spending the last of my life in the warmth of his arms. I struggle to keep standing on my feet which he finds very funny. Marc starts walking towards the car across the road, laughing. When he stumbles, I start laughing too. We both are pretty much drunk and probably for the best otherwise I wouldn't be living in bliss right now.
He steadies himself and starts towards the car. I dig the phone out of my pocket to type a message for my sister. She would be more than happy to hear about me and Marc. Although she is my cousin, we are closer than siblings.
I am already too dizzy to type a message. Laughing, I manage to write a word when I hear a loud horn followed by a thud. My head snaps up and my mind goes blank. The last thing I remember seeing is... blood.
My eyes fly open and I take good ten minutes to realize where I am. I am gasping for breath as I sit up in my bed and a thin layer of sweat covers my forehead. I have been having these nightmares since along. And I don't want my last memory with Marc being so tainted. So bloody.
It's been three years since my graduation day. Three years since I lost the meaning of my life. Three years since I've been living in a nightmare. And three years of pain. Over these three years, I've learnt to keep my hollow, empty self—decorated by a floral cover. And that's what I do. Every single day.
Today is Julie's wedding. She is starting a new phase of life. Something I dreamt of with Marc beside me. Not anymore though.
When I lost my best friend that day, I got shattered. Not that I am already fixed now, but I have learned to carry my broken pieces alone. At that time, for a good year, I barely did anything. Having lost the meaning of life and my future, I had nothing else to focus on. However, soon I realized I had to fulfil all the dreams that Marc wanted to live with me. That's when I started working and set up the Veterinary Hospital. It was a way of being close to him. Now, I am about to expand another free centre for the animals. Both of us loved animals. He wanted to keep a dog as a pet after graduation when we would move into another more spacious place. That didn't happen but I got a dog, which was brought to the hospital after it went through a car accident. I saved it and brought it home.
The moonlight coming through the long glass window is falling on the floor. I glance at the time on the digital clock on the bedside table. It's 3:40 in the morning. I remove the covers off my legs and head towards the kitchen. Pouring a glass of cold water, I chug it down my throat trying to gain composure after my subconscious event.
I set the glass on the counter after washing and stroll into the living room. Bear is spread out on another small couch that I bought for him. His dark brown hair is contrasting the light shade of the couch. When I brought him home, he was still healing so I considered it safe for him to be away from my bed. I could hurt him in my sleep. Since then, this has been his bed.
My e—reader is lying on the centre table in front of the couch. I arrange a few cushions on one side of the couch and lean against them, tucking my legs under my body. Picking up my e—reader, I complete reading 'Unexpected Fate'. The irony hits hard.
I lay there looking at the ceiling, letting the tears roll down from my eyes. I allow my mind to think if that graduation night didn't happen then I would still have Marc beside me.
Unable to hold back, a sob escapes my lips and I squeeze shut my eyes. Although all I see is blood, I want to feel the pain 'cause I know I am the one to blame for his death. I was the one who wanted to go out to celebrate with our friends, he wanted to stay in. I was busy laughing and texting my sister while he fell in the way of an oncoming car.
**************
MY PHONE RINGING in the bedroom and Bear's barks jolts me awake. I must have fallen asleep on the couch. I follow the loud annoying ringtone into the room. The screen is lit up with Aunt Claire's, Julie's mom, name.
"Hello..."
"Avery, where are you?!" She sounds pissed, beyond pissed. What... My gaze falls on the clock and everything makes sense. It's already 9. Shit. "Don't you dare tell me that you are still at home!"
"I'm…um...yeah. I...actually forgot my purse so I had to come back. I'm heading towards the church now," I lie. You can't blame me. I'm not in the mood to piss her off more than she already is. Moreover, I don't blame her. The bridesmaid should be there beforehand and here I was sleeping.
"I want you here within half an hour! You need to get your makeup and hair done!"
"Yes. I'll be there within 30 minutes. Don't worry. I won't miss it for the world, " I assure her before hanging up.
I run into the bathroom, brush my teeth and get showered within fifteen minutes. I wear the bridesmaid's dress which was, fortunately, waiting for me in front of the closet, ready. It is white and goes up to the knee. It's pretty simple but appropriate for a bridesmaid's dress.
After blowdrying my hair, I grab the keys and within no time, I am out of the house with Bear. My neighbor keeps Bear when I need to be out for long and can't take him along. They have a little girl, Abby, who comes to play with me and Bear every weekend. Even for the huge emptiness, my life hadn't entirely stopped. I'm still living, at least surviving.
I drop Bear at their house and leave after meeting an ecstatic Abby. Back in my car, I don't waste a second before throwing it on the road. I wonder how I managed to reach the church in time without crashing the car.
As soon as I step into the church, my aunt comes flying to me out of nowhere. "Thank God! Don't waste time. Go and get your makeup and hair done."
"Stop panicking!" I laugh. But snap my mouth shut when I receive the death glare from my Aunt.
I make my way to the third room down the hall according to my aunt's instruction. There I spend a good hour colouring my face and pinning my hair with hundreds of pins. God these things sting!
Finally, I am done with my final look. A few strands of hair are rolled and pinned behind my head. The rest of the length is lightly curled and rest on either side of the neck.
My face has slight makeup, just the way I like it. My lashes seem thicker and my cheeks hold a light pink shade on them, which matches the colour on my lips. "Perfect!" I turn my head towards the door to find Aunt Claire standing at the doorway, grinning. I smile broadly at her and get up to hug her.
"Can I go and meet the bride now?" I ask, pulling away.
"Go, " she says chuckling. "Check how much more time Miss Universe needs before she decides to show up!" she calls behind me.
I make my way to the bride's room at the far end of the corridor. Reaching the door, I knock and wait. When no answer comes, I knock again "Julie!" Frowning I open the door only to find an empty room. I slowly step into the room and scan but no one is there. The Bride's wedding gown is spread on the bed along with a note attached to the lace. I pick up the note and instantly freeze reading the words.