Today, one year has been passed since I lost my brother in an accident. It was a nightmare for me. Only I know how I have handled myself after that incident. My brother was like my baby for me. When I was ten, he was born and now I'm twenty-one and he is no more. I still remember that day when I had held him in my arms for the first time and how he had smiled at me. Sometimes, his memories hurt me a lot that I can't even explain in words.
But after losing him, I have realised one thing that life never stops, it moves on. People will come and go out of your life, nothing is permanent, everything is temporary in this life. We just have to accept things and move on with life. If you get stuck at one point, then it will get difficult to live, like my mother.
She has gone into severe depression after losing her son. Her condition is worsening day by day. My father and I are trying our best to cheer her up but I feel like she doesn't want to live. I know she was the mother of Nikhil but he was my baby too. I know it is difficult to accept the truth but that's what life is. We can't stop living, life moves on and mom needs to understand this sooner or later. Sometimes I feel like I lost my mom also with my brother that day and it hurts more to think this.
I'm standing under the shower and like every day, I'm thinking about my life. This is the only time when I think about my life, that's why I hate taking showers. I know people feel relaxed after the shower but I feel depressed and I don't know why. The water is cascading down my body and I'm running my hands all over my body to clean myself.
"Finally." I sighed and turned off the shower. I took the towel which was hanging in the bathroom and rubbed my body with it.
I stepped out of the bathroom after wrapping the towel and I got ready in ten minutes for the college. I'm not the type of girl who takes two-three hours to get ready. I don't apply makeup. Just lipgloss, sunscreen cream, eyeliner sometimes and I'm ready.
Last time glancing myself in the mirror, I walked out of my room with a smile on my face. Today, I'm wearing black jeans with a white off-shoulder top.
I strolled toward my parents' room. As I stepped into the room, I found my mom still sleeping because of the medicines she is taking. I heard the sound of water falling on the floor from the bathroom, I understood that dad is taking the shower.
I sauntered to Mom and kissed her forehead after leaning down, praying to God to make her fine soon.
***
I came into the open kitchen of our house and started preparing omelettes and sandwiches for breakfast. This is my daily routine, wake up early in the morning, prepare breakfast and then leave for college.
"Good morning." I looked at my dad as he wished me. I was so engrossed in cooking that I didn't come to know when he walked inside and stood beside me.
"Good morning, dad." I smiled at him. He leaned down and gently kissed my forehead.
"So what are you making?" He asked, raising his eyebrows and then he moved his eyes from me to glass, in which I was whisking the egg for the omelette a minute ago.
He looked at me and I replied. "Omelettes and sandwiches." His corner of lips drawn down and his lower lip pouted out.
"Today also this boring breakfast. I wanted to eat aloo paratha, Inaya." I chuckled as he is showing tantrums like a small kid.
He is a damn cute and the most important person in my life. Nobody can say that he is 45 years old. He is a fun-loving person. He is the strongest person, I have ever seen. He is my inspiration. I'm trying to become strong like him and I love him so much.
"Eat healthy, stay healthy. We have kept Sunday for your unhealthy food like aloo paratha with lots of butter spreading on it. And let me remind you today is Thursday and you have to wait till Sunday." He was listening to me, pouting his lips out like I'm giving a lecture to him.
"Okay." He reluctantly agreed, having no other option because he knows me very well. I'm his stubborn daughter. I smiled at him. "Now let me help you." He turned on the gas with the lighter after putting the frying pan on it.
"Dad, you go. Mom can wake up at any moment and you should be with her, I'll do it myself." I asked him to go because leaving mom alone is dangerous. She can do anything.
He sighed deeply and said. "You're right." I can see the pain in his dark black eyes. He doesn't want to lose Mom.
"Mom will be fine soon, dad. Don't lose hope." I reassured him, putting my hands over his shoulders.
He gave me a faint smile. "I'll never lose hope. She has to get fine one day for me, for both of us and she will get fine." I can see the confidence in his back eyes. He loves mom a lot and his confidence gives me hope that one day mom will be fine like before.
I smiled slightly, thinking about those days when mom used to laugh with us. Her smile was so beautiful. I can't wait to see her bright and beautiful smile again. I miss my happy mom a lot.
Dad went to see mom, he loves her a lot and left everything for her. He was a maths professor in the government college but he left his job for mom because she needed him more. After that, we opened the coaching centre and luckily it became so popular in one year. He takes care of mom till afternoon until I come back from college and then he goes to the coaching centre. He comes back in the evening and then I go to teach students at our coaching centre. In starting days, we had faced lots of financial problems but now we're earning pretty well and I'm happy whatever it is.
***
After one hour, I stepped into my parents' room, holding two plates in my hands. I saw dad is stepping out of the bathroom, holding mom's hand, maybe after bathing her because her hair is wet. She is staring straight like a lifeless soul. It hurts a lot every time I see her in this condition. She has become silent for one year.
I miss you, Mom!
After putting the plates on the table, I walked toward them. "Good morning, mom." She just looked at me blankly as I placed a kiss on her cheek. I'm feeling like she doesn't even remember me. My mom can't recognise me and it hurts a little more.
"Let's have breakfast as I'm starving," Dad uttered, I gave him an infinitesimal smile and nodded at him. We walked toward the sofa and settled down. Mom is sitting between us and still staring straight.
Dad started feeding her with so much love and I gazed at them affectionately. He is caressing her cheeks and kissing her forehead after every bite. I'm just admiring them. I can't even describe in words, how much dad loves mom. I also want to be loved like this by somebody and I want to love somebody like my dad.
Where will be my life partner? When I will meet him? I won't lie but I'm waiting for that day desperately. But don't know, will I get somebody like him or not? I wondered, looking at them.
Dad and I are cracking jokes to make mom laugh but she is just lost in her thoughts and staring at the walls which are in front of her. We both laughed at the joke loudly and when mom didn't even move her eyes, I stared at dad helplessly. Dad blinked his eyes in the assurance that she'll be fine. I pursed my lips to control my emotions and turned away my face dejectedly.
I sighed deeply, chuckling my thoughts before standing up from the sofa. "Dad, I'm getting late for college. So I'm leaving. Bye, and I love you." I bent down and hugged him before placing a kiss on his cheek.
"Bye, my doll and take care." He said, placing his hand over my face and Yes, I'm still his doll, his little doll.
We smiled at each other. "Bye, mom." I hugged mom tightly and waited for her to hug me back for a minute but she didn't as expected. I badly want her to hug me tightly and say I'm fine, Inaya. I broke the hug, fighting back with my tears.
I looked at mom, plastering a smile on my face and kissed her forehead after clasping her face. "I miss you, mom," I whispered, touching my face with her and a solitary tear trickled down my cheek mechanically. I pulled away from her after wiping off my tear. I came outside of the room after glancing at my parents for the last time before leaving.
I walked into my room and tied my hair in a high ponytail with the rubber band, standing in front of the mirror before hanging my bag over my shoulder and stepping out of my house to live a new day with excitement that what life has stored for me today.