Chapter 1

My family and I

Being the first born of a Chicago farmer is not always that easy, when you think of the heart ache and struggle one has to go through.

Mary was the first child of Mr. and Mrs. Becky Johnson, a devoted Christians who place value on both big, and small things; a diligent, humble and hard-working farmers.

They owned a small cottage and a piece of land where they farm, not too far from the waste land in Chicago.

We weren’t that wealthy but it was enough to put food on our table, well at least until my siblings came in the picture.

Lisa and Lora weren’t twins but they looked and behave like one and were greatly admired by others because both were very brave and intelligent, and I loved them to the bone, and I was willing to do anything for them.

Even if at that time, meant giving up my dream for them, it was easy as breathing, because i never wanted any of them to struggle like my parents were doing.

Now eighteen, I was supposed to enrolled in a local college, at the out sketch of town, and boy how exited I was. It has always being my dream to go to college but since we weren’t that financial okay, I never voiced it out until dad said I would go.

Mom and Dad were ready to sponsor me; I didn’t know how they were going to do it, so all I had to do was prepare myself, even if it was late; that was my plan until I had found out that Lisa and Lora were held back from school because they had not pay their fees, since grade 2 and I later discovered that all the money dad had then were been saved for my college entrance.

To be honest, that didn’t sit well with me; I mean Lisa was barely twelve and Lora was just ten years old. Every morning I had to watch the joy on their faces every time they make a run for the school bus, and when they return back or the fight between themselves when they argue about a single spelling.

These made me happy and I know they were too, both were eager to learn new things, they were happy to be taught.

Now what would happen to the eagerness to learn or the happy smile they always wear when going and coming back from school? I didn’t want to think about that or the facts that our model society has so much patronized education to the point that without it, you have no stands.

“This is not right, I can’t let this happen.” I pondered alone in my room.

The next morning, we sat down to eat the not so much of a breakfast, just vegetables and water, I had notice that Lisa and Lora didn’t have their usual happy expression “I guess they heard.” I murmur to myself , as I tried to eat something, I wasn’t having the appetite but leaving the food meant wasting it and in my home that was forbidden, so I just took my spoon and forced a whole lot down my throat, which made me tear.

“Wow, calm down Mary no one is taking your food away.” Mom queried

“Yeah.” I replied hastily, just want to finished it and hurried to my room

“Mary.” Dad called out to me

“Yes papa?” I raised my head to face him

“Here, take this.” Dad handed over to me an envelope

Which I took, I looked inside it was full of money, even if a sprite had told me that my parents had such money saved up, I would argue it. I looked at my pa in awe “this is a huge sum of money.”

“Of course it is.” Mom replied “your father and I had being saving it up for your college.”

“Oh.” I should be happy but I am not, saving it up? Means they had to work ten times harder than before, looking at both off them now, they looked old and haggard for their age, I looked at my father sadly “but papa….”

“It’s okay.” Father said “your mother is right, we have being saving up ever since you said, you dreamed of going to college. I already called the school; even if it’s late they are ready to give you one more chance; so you have…..”

As dad continued I half paid attention to him, as I observed my sisters at the other end, Lora stared at her food blankly, trying to fight back tears, Lisa being the eldest one, was trying to act tough as she spoke to me

“Wow, big sis, you are going to college? I’m happy for you. We are going to miss you.” When she smiled I knew she meant it.

I couldn’t hold it in anymore and just teared up, I sob like a child. While dad just watched me confusedly; mom hurried to my side “what is going on with you?” mom asked worried “why are you crying like a child?”

Instead of answering her I cried harder, then Lisa worriedly asked “was it something I said?” she looked from dad to mom and then back to me, about to tear up “I am sorry, I didn’t ….”

When I saw the single tear in her eyes I hurried to her side and called her into my arms, I hugged her tightly as I said

“Oh Lisa,” I said between tears “it is not something you did, I am so, so sorry.”

“What? I don’t understand? Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong.” she said, confused

“No, I did everything wrong.” I sob as I held her face up; I can’t let them be driven to an edge this early “can you ever forgive me?” I asked in tears

Lisa took my hand from her face, she teared up as well, and Lora followed “of course big sis.” She sniffs and added “I forgive whatever you think you did wrong.” She smile and it was the best.

“Thank you.” I said and stood, and patted both she and Lora’s head

“Mary.” Father who has been quiet called

“Yes papa?” I answered as I dried my tears

“I don’t know what happened or what you think you did wrong but everything will be okay; alright?”

“Of course papa.” I said as I returned to my seat, I knew what I had to do. My mind was made up and they are no turning back now. I looked up at my father who was observing me, perhaps waiting for me to say something, determined; I hand over the envelope back to him “I can’t accept this, sorry papa.”

While dad remained quiet, mom attacked me with questions “what are you talking about now Mary? This is your tuition fee and nothing else.”

“Why?” father calmly asked me

I Signed “Papa, this money is meant for my tuition right?”

“Yes.” Dad replies “two years of it to be precise.” He added as he ate

“Lisa and Lora’s fees will only take half of that money right?” I asked again

“What are you trying to say Mary? Speak in a language I will understand.” He said as he looked at me weirdly, they all was

“Yes, sorry.” I paused then continued “I think it’s best if the money is used for their tuition and probably take care of few things in the house, God knows they are many things to take care off.”

“Are you even listening to yourself Mary? For years you have been dreaming of college, even if you didn’t say it out, we figured it out with the longing look you had your face whenever those college students pass by the farm.” Mother was clearly angry, as she continue “we had to sell a lot of things, worked a lot of shift just for you to go to college, and now that the dream is finally close, you are giving it to your siblings? What is wrong with you?”

“But mom…”

“Don’t you mom me, you’re our first child Mary, and you must be educated, wither you like it or not. Your sisters are still young they can continue their education some other time but not you.”

I watched my sisters from the corner of my eyes, their head was bent down and they were tremblely, no doubt crying from mother harsh words, I close my eyes as I prayed to a higher power for confidence and strength because I will need it to persuade my stubborn mother “no mother, that’s not fair.”

“What?” she was shocked, did I just challenged her? Papa remained silent and just watched.

Yeah in my family, things like breaking the house rules, which are a lot by the way; challenging and throwing wordings at your parents or elders wither they be in the wrong or not, is never permitted, devoted Christians, did I mention?

But this was my sisters, if I don’t stand up for them now, when will I ever? “Sorry if I sounded kind of rude but I don’t think this is the right way to go about it.”

“And what do you know about the right way Mary? You are just eighteen. Are you going to teach your parents ‘how to do the right thing?’” she asked glaring

“That’s not what I meant mother.” Annoyed now

“Oh really? What did you mean then? Please do tell.” She added blankly

“Being the first child doesn’t not mean I have to be the only educated one in the family.” I paused, looked from dad to mom, both just silently watched me and I continued “I can always go to college or university, If I study hard enough, sure it won’t be that easy but I’m your child, I have brains, I am confident, brave, hardworking. Mom I can do anything, work or go to school if I want to; not going now won’t stop me in the future, but what about them?” I asked pointing at Lisa and Lora, who were now staring at me with hope in their eyes and I drew confident from that “mama, with every dune, society advances, and five years from now Lisa will be sixteen and Lora fifteen can they still go to grade 1? No of course not, even if they tried; it will be too traumatic for them. The constant stare they will get from little kids, and they obviously can’t go to college without coming out from grade school.” Should I end it here, I pondered ‘nope since they’re giving this chance to raise my voice, I need to lay it all out.’ I murmur to myself.

But then Lora spoke up “big sister, I am sure that’s not what papa and mama meant. I mean we can always go to school again right?” she asked but turned to mom

But I replied her “how are you so sure about that Lora? If you haven’t notice things are not really going smoothly for us, if this chance passed by, do you think you and your sister will ever be able to go to school? What happened if the work you decided to do in the future needs some well-educated, what will you do then?”

She slump in her chair “Oh... I didn’t think of it that way.”

“Yes, that because you are still young and you need me, papa and mama to do the thinking, I can still go to school, at twenty-eight even thirty; I can school. Married woman go to school, college and universities but not grade A. mama think about it, five years coming I will be twenty – three, I can take pressure, I can whatever the world throws at me. I mean I’m a Johnson for crying out loud, and as a Johnson we were taught to be strong, bold and upright. So it doesn’t matter what year mother, I can always go to school, but no them, when their fresh memory begin to dime and they start losing interest in schools or learning what will you do then? Because either we like it or not, it will happen.” I said as I looked at my mother for her come back to that.