Copyright © 2020 by Adaeze Suinner

 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher.

     Portions of this book are works of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places and events are products of the author's imagination, and any resemblances to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

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CHAPTER ONE

TO BEGIN AN END

"Somebody help!" 

I was slipping in and out of consciousness as Dean held me in his arms, shouting for a nurse

"Sir...need...calm..down" I could barely make out what the nurse was saying. I had lost a lot of blood and was feeling very light headed.

"Don't tell me to fucking calm down! She's losing a lot of blood! Do your job and help her!"

 Dean shouted some more and I felt my body being taken out of his arms and put on a stretcher.

My head moved from side to side and an oxygen mask was placed over my nose and mouth as I closed my eyes, shielding them from the blinding hospital lights. 

Breathe

I felt my frail hand being wrapped around another and my eyes fluttered open and gazed at Dean. His face was filled with worry and I managed to give him a small smile but i'm sure it looked like I were in more pain because he gave my hand a little squeeze

"Hang in there baby" He said. 

Automatic doors were pushed open and I was pushed through them and I felt Deans hand slip from mine causing my body to go into a slight panic as my fingers twitched, feeling cold.

"I love you Amelia!" Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I felt it would be the last time I would hear his voice.

The world was blurry as Surgeons and nurses rushed around, screaming things at each other and the mask on my face was switched and I felt my body slip into oblivion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sharp rays of sunlight made me stir a bit before opening my eyes. I blinked a few times, allowing my eyes to adjust to the lighting of the room and I took a look around my surroundings.

An iv was attached to my wrist and a nasal cannula attached to my face.  I felt a sharp pain in my lower abdomen instinctively making me groan and turn my head to the side.

I turned my head to the side and saw a nurse walk by, our eyes met, hers widened in shock as she ran along.

What was going on?

A doctor rushed into the room, a clipboard in his hand followed by the same nurse who had a glass of water in her hand.

She walked up to me and brought the glass to my lips.

The feeling of having water glide down my throat was refreshing. I finished the glass of water and opened my mouth to speak but the doctor beat me to it

"Glad to see that you pulled through. I'm Doctor Evans." He said with a smile and I tried to give him one back but failed. 

He walked up to the patient monitor beside me and wrote some things down

"Your blood pressure has calmed down and so has your heart rate. Did you feel any pain when you woke up? If you did, please indicate where" He turned to me as I lifted my hand and placed it on my lower abdomen and I saw his face drop a little but his signature smile was back within an instant as his eyes met my now confused ones

"Well, my work here is done. This is Nurse Stella" He said and gestured to the curvy woman that still stood by the door. "I've written down prescriptions of drugs she will-" The doctor was cut off by a man who stormed into my room

He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his yes moved around frantically before they met mine and when they did I felt a bolt of electricity go through me.

Who was this man?

He rushed to me and embraced me, an embrace in which I didn't return. He looked up at me with tears in his eyes and littered kisses on my face before cupping it.

"Oh God! You're awake. I thought I lost you" His voice cracked and I continued to study the man before me. My silence caused him to look at me and when he met my eyes he stood up and took some steps back.

"A-amelia?"  He called out but I just stared at him. 

Who was he talking to?

I watched as he walked up to the Doctor and had him by the wall, his hand wrapped around his neck

"What the fuck did you do?! What's wrong with her?!"  The man screamed and I felt my heart clench at the amount of concern that was laced in his words.

I opened my mouth,nothing came out but I managed to clear my throat causing both men to look towards me abruptly. Doctor Evans still looked shaken up but straightened up 

"Mr.Anderson" The man looked to the doctor and they exchanged a few words before they both began to walk out

"Doctor wait" I managed to croak. The doctor looked to me, shocked that I had spoken

"Who is Amelia?" I asked and his face fell, truly fell and he didn't bother to fix his expression, instead he gave me a sad smile and walked out.

I forgot the nurse was there until she pulled up a chair and sat next to me.

"You're Amelia" She said and held my hand in hers

"N-no i'm not. My name is...is...." I thought hard, really hard but I couldn't remember anything. Tears spilled from my eyes once more as I turned to the nurse

"Wh...what's going on?...Who am I?...what happened to me?" She blinked a couple of times as if holding back tears of her own 

"You're name is Amelia Davis, you are 19 years old and was involved in a terrible car accident that put you in a coma for six months" She said and I looked up to the ceiling

Six months?! That can't be right. There's something wrong

"Y-you were with child and i'm sorry to break it to you Miss. Davis but the baby didn't make it"

This woman must be crazy

"There is a child right there" I said to her and pointed to the baby, wrapped in a pastel blue towel and lay peacefully. The nurse followed my hand and looked back at me but with slight fear in her eyes

"There's nothing there" She replied 

"Are you blind woman!" I exclaimed "There is a baby laying peacefully right there in front of you and me!" Was she trying to play mind games with me?

I watched as she hurriedly stood up and rushed out of the room. 

That woman is crazy

A silhouette formed in the corner of my eye and I turned my head, seeing the same man who had kissed me walk in. 

I watched curiously as he walked up too my baby and picked her up, rocking her back and forth in his arms but I couldn't help but feel like something was wrong

"Little Amelia, why do you frown? Little Amelia if you don't make a sound, i'll go down the street and by you a crown" His voice sickened me and I tried to get up but again I felt like I was being pressed down

The man turned to me and my heart race picked up at an alarming speed

His face was contorted, eyes bloody and half of his face was peeled off and he smiled at me.

I shook violently in my bed and screamed at the top of my voice. A doctor and a Nurse rushed in and followed my eyes

"Get him away from her!" I screamed "He's going to hurt her! Don't just stand there!"  I continued to shake and scream as the surrounded me, trying to calm me down saying things like 'there's nothing there amelia' 'you're hallucinating'

Everything seemed to be in slow motion as I watched the man who held my baby pull out a knife from his pocket and I almost lost it

"Please! Please! Stop! Do something!" I continued to plea and beg and scream but my words seemed to escape into oblivion

A stabbing sound pierced my eardrums as I let out the loudest scream ever

"Sedate her!" I recognized Dr.Evans voice 

"No! Please help....help" My voice faded out and the world became blurry as I returned to the void

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"State your name, age and condition"  The tall man said to me. He was dressed in a white shirt and pants. 

Same as me

"My name is Amelia Davis. I am 20 years old and I suffered from Post-traumatic Amnesia that led to schizophrenia" This had become my motto 

It's been a year since I was admitted to Tranquil Heights Psychiatric Institution and trust me, it's been a crazy one.

Dr. Anderson, my psychiatrist, runs me through some daily routine questions so I don't 'forget' myself. Literally

He had beautiful midnight hair that was always tousled as if he'd run his hands through it all the time. His face was beautiful, green eyes that lit up in the most amazing way when the lighting hit it right. His jawline was defined and he smelled of cigarettes

It was oddly calming, considering no staff was meant to be allowed to smoke.

He had a little 5 o clock shadow that added to his handsome physique. What bothered me the most though was how he looked oddly...

Familiar

"You look very familiar" I started "Have we met?" I asked and his eyes met mine, causing my heart to skip a beat

It always did that when he was around me and I didn't know why

"No" was his cold reply as he gestured for me to stretch out my hand for him, I did and he injected paliperidone palmitate into my arm. I memorized the name but always managed to forget it each day.

I only took it once a month anyways

"You're good to go Amelia" Even the way he said my name sounded familiar. I stood up and tilted my head, watching as he wrote some things down.

"I swear I know you, I just can't figure it out" It was really beginning to bother me now and I felt my hands shake slightly. He sighed and looked up at me

"No Amelia, we've been over this. My name is Dr. Anderson and i'm your psychiatrist" He said and I mouthed his very words.

"I know. Maybe it was a dream"  I said and he continued writing things down as I walked to the door, leaving the psych ward but I stopped when I heard him speak

"Your dreams were a reality"  I furrowed my brows and looked back to him but he was in the same spot, still writing.

I'm just hearing things again

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Right now I'm having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.