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Lisons le monde

Pause, Rewind, Play

Pause, Rewind, Play

Auteur:Blair Cahill

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Introduction
This is a story of four broken people who have lived, loved and lost. Alyanna Rosellini's life is on pause because of a murderer on the loose. Only being able to live through the present by holding on to the past while hoping for a better future, she will do anything to go back to her old life. Even if it is to act as bait to draw out the killer. Jayden Carlton is in a relationship with two women - his dead childhood sweetheart and a woman who won't leave him alone. Everyone has only one piece of advice for him - move on. But how can he, when moving on also means letting go? Katerina Van Acker has a heart of gold but the world convinced her to use it sparingly. So she wore a bitchy attitude for armour, sharpened her tongue into a sword, and waged a war against it. But if she doesn't stop fighting, she might chase away everyone she cares about. And nothing short of her own guardian angel can convince her of that. Dimitri Volkov might be a prince but he is no guardian angel. Haunted by all the unforgivable sins he has committed, he knows that he deserves no second chance. But fate has other plans. Now, his future rests in his shaky hands. Their life is on pause. The only way to move ahead is to reflect back on the past, learn from their mistakes, and make different choices this time around. They might get everything they hoped for or lose more than their soul can bear.  
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Chapitre

August 2026,

Scars Bay, USA

Jayden

"Thank you for your service," I said as I fastened my belt and opened the door of the bathroom stall.

My phone rang and my eyes flew to the screen. Kate. Goddammit. I put my phone on silent and slid it into my pocket.

"Who is that? Is she your girlfriend?" she asked in a high-pitched, slightly annoyed tone.

"She is none of your fucking business." I walked out and began washing my hands, which seemed to aggravate her further.

"I had a great time. We should go this again sometime." I would not consider having sex in the bathroom stall of a bar a great time but each to their own.

"I'm flattered but not interested," I said the truth without sugar-coating it because frankly, I did not care enough to lie.

Oscar Wilde said that everything in the world was about sex except sex. Sex was about power. One of the very few quotes of his that I didn't agree with. I thought that sex was a means to an end. A thing to cross off my week's to-do list so I didn't become an unbearable asshole.

"God, you're such an asshole!"

Correction. Too much of an unbearable asshole.

"He is indeed an asshole." I completely agreed with her. With that, I walked out of the restroom.

I walked back to the bar, paid for my drinks, and left.

Once I was in my car, I released a deep breath. Sex always left me feeling cold and empty. It fulfilled my needs, sure, made me less frustrated and slightly easy to be around. But it weighed heavily on my shoulders. I hated sleeping with random women. It was monotonous while it was happening, felt good for a couple of seconds, and once it was done, it made my skin crawl.

My phone vibrated and I groaned. Without even looking at it, I knew it was Kate. For some reason, she had been trying to get a hold of me for the last couple of days.

I picked up. "What the hell do you want?"

"Jayden Carlton!" Mum reprimanded. "Is that how you talk to your mother?"

"I'm sorry, Mum. I thought it was someone else." My eyes slid shut. This was the last thing I wanted.

"Where are you?"

"I'm going home," I replied.

"Stella came over earlier. She was crying, Jayden! How could you forget your four-year anniversary? I raised you better than this!" Mum seemed really worked up.

Stella had long blonde hair, brown eyes, an ever-present smile on her face, and a great figure. Anyone would take one look at her and think she was beautiful. She was once a good friend of mine. I had pushed most of my friends away but Stella stayed. She stayed by my side on days I wanted to kill myself. She took care of me when I couldn't get out of bed for weeks. She seemed to be the one I turned to for comfort. But I didn't have romantic feelings for her. I couldn't.

When she made a move, I was drunk out of my mind and mistook her for Alya. They had the same long blonde hair and similar brown eyes. I slept with her that night. I knew it was a horrible mistake the moment I opened my eyes the next morning. But I felt like I couldn't reject her after everything she had done for me. It just felt wrong. And while being with her felt more wrong and made me feel like the biggest piece of shit ever, it made my parents happy. They didn't worry about me as much after we started dating. So I tried to keep the only three people left in my life happy.

I thought I could learn to love her but I couldn't do it anymore. I used to think of her as a good friend but now, just being in her presence felt suffocating. I couldn't pretend to be in love with her anymore.

And lately, she was becoming more and more of a pain in the ass to tolerate. I wanted her out of my life but she was everywhere I looked. She showed up at my home unannounced and had started to 'forget' things. She thought I didn't notice her growing collection of things in my apartment but I did. I wanted to end things but every time I brought it up, she seemed to find a way to evade the conversation.

Eventually, I figured that if I stopped being the guy she wanted me to be and started being a shitty boyfriend, she would get tired and break up with me herself. I had been trying to break up for three years and had been a shitty boyfriend for two years. But I had been as unsuccessful as I had been at rejecting her the first time she came on to me.

"I was busy," I replied. I didn't say too much or else it would turn into another lecture and I was so not in the mood for one. I just wanted to go home and sleep through the weekend.

Mum took in a deep breath and I just knew she was trying to calm herself down. She released her breath. "She just left and is coming to your apartment. Apologize and then make it up to her." I gritted my teeth. I was in no mood for company. Maybe I could pretend that I wasn't home and not open the door for her when she rang the doorbell. "You are also coming home for dinner tomorrow. No excuses. And if you don't, I will hunt you down and bring you home myself." And then she cut the call.

I suppose I could make it to dinner tomorrow night... Who was I kidding? I had no choice. Mum could be scary when she wanted to be.

I pulled into my apartment building and got out of the car. I tossed the keys to the valet and rode the elevator to my apartment. I couldn't wait to get home.

As soon as I opened the door, mine and Alya's Doberman Storm came running towards me, wagging his little tail, excited to see me.

"Did you take good care of mommy?" I scratched the back of his ears and he gave me a happy bark.

"How was your day?" Alyanna walked in, smiling at the two of us.

"Boring as fuck," I sighed as we walked to the living room. "I keep trying to break up with Stella but she evades the topic. I act like a dick and she goes crying to mum. And now, Mum has called me over for dinner tomorrow night. I'm already dreading it."

"I'm sure it won't be that bad." Alya grimaced a bit. Both of us knew that it was going to be bad.

"Mum just doesn't get it. She knows that I'm in love with you and you're the only one I want to be with. But you know how she is. She's convinced that Stella is the one for me."

"She doesn't understand our relationship," Alya replied. "It's not her fault."

"It amazes me that this doesn't make you angry." It really did. "You have never been the jealous type."

"That's because I know you are mine. You have earned my trust, Jay. I don't care what your mother or the world thinks because I know that at the end of the day, you will come home to me." She smiled.

"How did I get so lucky?" I asked, basking in the warmth of her smile.

"Well, one day, two little shitheads were bullying you. I took pity on you, saved you, and took you under my wing." She grinned smugly. She never let me forget that.

"I was a child! And they were twice my size!"

"If I remember correctly, we were of the same size," she giggled. "I was your knight in shining armor. Admit it!"

"Fine. You were." She had earned the gloating rights after all. "And I am glad you did. Not a lot of people have the privilege of saying that they met the love of their lives when they were four years old."

"Or that they grew up with them," Alya added.

"Exactly. I thank my stars that I met you, Alyanna. And I'm not going to let anyone or anything come in between us. Certainly not Stella and my mum."

"I love you, Jay." Alya gave me a sweet, loving smile.

"I love you too, Alya." I smiled.

"Now read me some Oscar Wilde," she said, pointing at the book on the coffee table.

"As you wish." I grabbed a pillow and placed it on my lap. Alya lied down on the couch and rested her head on the pillow, smiling up at me.

Stories were our thing. After a lot of effort, I got her into reading. But her only condition was that I read to her. Ever since, we picked an author and I read all of their best books to her almost every day. And Oscar Wilde's The Happy Prince was the first book I read to her. It became her favorite book and Wilde her favorite author.

Although sometimes, she said that she didn't want me to read, she wanted me to tell her a story. And what Alya asked, I delivered. I usually made one up on the spot and told her. If it was a ridiculous one, both of us would laugh and if it was an erotic one, we would end up having sex. Either way, it was a win for both of us.

"Someone's calling you," she cut me off when I was half a page in.

I looked at my vibrating phone and cut the call when I saw it was Kate.

"Who is it?"

"Your best friend," I said bitterly.

"Kate? Pick up!" She sat up and looked at me with a slight frown.

"I have nothing to sa—"

"Jay?" Stella stood in the middle of the living room. Dammit, how did I not notice her earlier?

I didn't even have to look to know that Alya wasn't here anymore.

Thunder, who had settled by my legs let out small growls. Stella wasn't a fan of dogs so I kept him away from her. After multiple failed attempts to go sniff her out, he had given up and settled for growling at her. He wasn't her biggest fan.

"Quiet," I commanded and he fell silent but kept his alert eyes on her.

"Good evening, Stella." The last thing I wanted was to be interrupted. "What are you doing here?" I seriously needed to change the security code.

"You missed our dinner," she sniffed. Her eyes were a bit swollen and her nose was red. Mum was right, she really had cried.

"I was busy, I had a long day. Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my book."

"I was worried about you," she walked in and I internally groaned. "I tried to call you but your phone must be on silent. I just wanted to make sure you were okay so I thought I should come over to che-"

"Well as you can see, I am perfectly fine. You can go now. I'm busy." After I said that, her expression shifted and she seemed a little annoyed. Good. If I made her enough mad, maybe she would break up with me.

"Busy talking to a dead woman." My heart twisted at that brutal reminder.

She looked at me with frustration. "Jayden. It has been five years since Alyanna died. You need to at least try and move on."