MEREDITH:

“Alan, please. Don't do this to me. To us. We’ve been perfect for each other without any issues. We’ve gotten through a lot over the past six years. Are you just going to throw everything away? All the promises you made to me? Our friendship?” I shamelessly begged my long-time boyfriend. Today wasn't supposed to be like this.

We were here to celebrate our seventh anniversary. So I thought. However, Alan had other plans.

“Stop this, Meredith. You’re embarrassing me,” Alan said. His beautiful green eyes for some reason didn’t have the usual emotion of love, care, and protection that I was used to. It dawned on me that something had changed.

“Baby, I’m sorry if I'm embarrassing you.” I was desperate not to lose the man I loved. I couldn’t live without him. “Tell me what I did wrong. What went wrong? Let me fix it. Baby, I’m not giving up on us. We can work on whatever that’s the problem.”

Exhaling, “I don’t want to get angry with you because you’re a good person, Meredith. But, what you’re doing right now is disgusting.”

“Disgusting? That I’m trying to get to the root of the problem and probably save our relationship?”

“You can’t save it. Let me be truthful with you. I’ve lost feelings for you. There’s someone else that I’ve been seeing for a while, and I’m in love with her. She’s pretty, smart, funny, and has a gym body with a huge ass. One day, you’ll understand that what I did was best so that we don’t end up wasting each other’s time.”

My entire world shattered into pieces. All I got myself to ask was, “why? Alan, why? I’ve done nothing but love you all these years, and you do this to us? Do I deserve this? I never lied, cheated, or hurt you. You know how this period is with me. It is a time I need you badly. You chose now to hurt me like this. One time that I need you, and you’re leaving me.”

“You’ll forgive me one day. You can hate me now, but the feelings will fade. If it helps, I don’t want you beating yourself up. This is on me. You never did anything wrong. In fact, until now and forever, no one will be able to replace you in my life. Let’s continue being friends. If we are truly meant to be, we'll find a way back to ourselves.”

Friends? Was that the level he had reduced us to? A man I planned a life with. Who made promises never to leave, hurt or cheat on me was standing there praising a girl before me and was leaving me behind.

Alan and I met when I was sixteen, and he was nineteen. It wasn’t love at first sight. Truthfully, I hated his arrogant ass. But, over time, we became friends and then got to know each other better leading to us developing to be best friends, and then we started dating.

I met him when he was poor and had no direction in life. Yet, he was the most beautiful person in my eyes. I believed that he would be great, and it drove me to support and stand by him, knowing that it will get better. I saw something in him beyond his physical looks. He wasn't the best in both dressing, charisma, and looks because, at that stage, he was fighting to surpass puberty and become an adult.

After years of ups and downs with reassurance and hope, we got through school, and he went into coding. That was another phase of endless support and healing. Absorbing all his distress, waiting and grooming him to become a better version of himself. To become a true man.

Notwithstanding, Alan was the sweetest, most considerate, and kind boyfriend who showed me, absolute love. Or, so he made me believe. Who knows? Maybe, he was doing all that just to keep me, since he was afraid of being alone while discovering himself.

We talked so much about the future together. About kids, family, and all that fairy-tale world. He promised never to let go. He did. Now that it was time for him to keep his end of the bargain, he was bailing on me.

Alan stood in the private café he had rented out to get us some privacy since every press was after him now that he was a big name. “Meredith, I’ve to go. I have things to attend to.”

I stared blankly at the six-eight feet-handsome-breathtaking boyfriend of mine that was now going to become my ex. I looked at his amazing body that we had achieved together. From fat and nerdy to a supermodel with ripped abs, which we got with me encouraging him to start working out and placing him on a diet. He looked so much better than when I met him. Now, he was every woman’s dream, but I bet none of them would have looked at him twice before.

“Did you ever cheat on me?” I deserved to know that much. I was always wondering if he was as committed and faithful as I was. Although he never gave me a reason to suspect him or not believe his feelings for me, you can never tell how dubious one can be.

“You don’t want to know the truth. Let’s leave it.” He brought out cash to pay for the breakfast we ordered, which I didn’t touch since my appetite was down the drain. However, Alan devoured his, leaving a few crumbs behind.

“It doesn’t change anything. After all, you’ve already broken up with me.”

He profusely ran his hand across his neatly trimmed brown hair. “Yes, I cheated on you. That’s why I’m breaking up with you. The guilt of having to come back to you each time like I’m doing nothing wrong is what I don’t want to keep dealing with. If I’m with you and my mind and body are elsewhere, that means I’m not supposed to be in this relationship. I would rather not mess up the opportunity of us having a friendly string. I don’t want us to become mortal enemies. Furthermore, I know that I’m a bad person for having held unto you. I kept you in a relationship that I wasn’t even in. I left you dating yourself, holding you back from meeting someone new because I was afraid of losing someone who uniquely loved me. I apologize for wasting your time.”

Before hearing his confession, I convinced myself to hold my head high and not break down. I couldn’t.

Tears streamed down my cheeks and my heart ached. I found it difficult to breathe. It was like my air pipe was getting cut off. This was too much for me to handle. “I can’t breathe,” I managed to say.

“Come on, Meredith. Stop the drama and take a deep breath. You’re not the first to have gotten dumped. You should be grateful that we didn't have a child. So, there's no one to constantly remind you of me.”

I could barely make out what he was saying. Things became blurry. The room spun. “I can’t breathe,” I repeated.

“Fuck this! I don’t have the time. Have a good life, Meredith.” Those were the words I heard before I passed out.