I am on top of the cliff and all I can think about is how I got here. how did I get here?

Money is a poison and a disease that eats into the mind and soul of a person and takes away your true self. leaving a shell of a person.

I had lost it my ever happy, fun and music loving self. I need redemption and I need it very fast.

I was tired. This will end it all. I will jump off this cliff and end my misery, my pain, my sorrow, everything will be forgotten. But it takes courage. It takes courage to jump down. It takes courage to go back. I am drained of all courage and will. I am soaked in my own tears and sweat. my black shirt clinging to my skin due to moisture. Looking down from here. I remember everything:

I am a rich and famous teenage model whose father is the owner of a multi billion dollar company all over Africa. I am the soul heir to the Macaulay dynasty. I started modelling as a little child. My father made me see reasons to. I didn't argue at the time because I enjoyed showing off my body. It was also good for the company image seeing as it gave it fame and recognition.

It was all rosy at the beginning till my world came crashing down. When I became 16 I started to notice that my dad was very domineering. He wanted everything to be done his way. He made sure of it. Whenever he doesn't have his way he starts hitting me. He never cared about my feelings. I used to enjoy everything that came with modelling. The attention the ladies. I mean everything. I get to showcase my body and flaunt myself. The advertisements where amazing to. All of a sudden it felt like everything I was doing was being monitored. I couldn't do anything without the eyes of the media. At this point I no longer enjoy the auditions and the runway modeling. I now hated the attention. It became unbearable.

You may ask me about my mother. she died at child birth alongside my twin sister. Although, I still have dreams about her singing to me. She has the most beautiful voice. Up until now I still enjoy her singing. She is my constant motivation to sing. I can never forget the melody. It is a native song sang in our local dialect. I basically grew up without a mother and my father was nothing to write home about.

My father basically forced me to be home schooled. I hated it although I was what you will call a genius, I still valued hard work and I wanted to see more in life. Instead of letting me be I was caged like a bird all my life. He never let me mingle with other kids my age and I hated that so much. Even at age 18 I cannot take any decision myself