Layla’s POV

*

“Good morning, handsome” I whispered to my husband’s ear, tracing my lips down to his lips. A rush of warmth spread through my skin, melting away any doubts I had of us.

It had been three years since I married Maxwell. Our bedroom was once a sanctuary of our love and laughter, but the times we shared in bed became less and less. Last night he refused me again saying he was too tired, so I had to hold my needs until this morning. And I want it now.

‘I'm just a woman who wants a normal bed life with my husband. It isn't too much, right?’

My lips lingered on his hoping I could get more of that kiss. Moving my body closer to his, I was feeling a little horny. I planted another kiss, sucking on his thin lips hoping I could spend the whole morning in bed with the man I love with all my heart.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” his whispered words startled me for a second but that did not stop me from wanting more.

“Doing what we should be doing all day, Max,” parting his lips with my tongue, I deepened our kiss trying my best to ignite his desire for me.

He chuckled softly, “Layla, not now. I’m not in the mood” Oh, crap! That was a little embarrassing.

“Max, when will you be in the mood? It has been a long time,” my hormones were raging with desire, and I did not want to stop. I wanted him to kiss me back, undress my dress, tear my underwear, and then put his hardness inside of me. My heart raced in desire wanting passionate sex with my husband on that beautiful morning.

But he stopped me. He pushed me away and sat up turning his back on me.

“I’m a bit tired” he sighed and looked away, “Been having long hours at work and I need some rest. Another time” he moved to plant a gentle kiss on my forehead before rolling away to the opposite side.

I could not believe he just said that to me!

I quit my job a year ago because Max wanted a baby. Our baby. But I don't understand where the baby comes from if my husband doesn't even have sex with me.

“I don’t understand you, Max!” I got up to a seating position on our bed and threw my hands in the air being frustrated at him, “We’ve been trying for more than a year, when it is now the perfect time, you refuse? Again?”

Maxwell sighed, rubbing his temples. I could sense something was troubling him, “Layla, I’m exhausted. Work’s been stressful –”

“Stressful?” I interrupted and raised my voice. Moving closer to him, I raised his chin for him to look at me, “I’m stressed too! You think it is easy for me, Max? Tracking ovulation, scheduling everything down to thee minute, like I’m some sort of a science experiment?”

“Layla, I’m not a machine” he stood up and replied to me in a firm but tired tone, “I can’t just flip a switch to have sex whenever the timing is right for you”

I would be lying to say those words he said did not hurt me. Did he remember who hugged me in his arms begging me to give him more attention from my busy design work? Who told me that his greatest wish in life was to have a baby of our own? Who asked me to change my vegetarian habit just to have a healthy baby? He turned me into this baby craver but now called it all stressful. Call me treat him like a machine. How ridiculous!

I flashed my angry eyes at him and in those moments, I could feel warm tears coming down to my cheeks, “This isn’t about flipping a switch, Max! This is about us wanting to start a family. We both wanted this, remember? You were the one who said you were ready”

“I am ready” he muttered with what I sensed to be a lack of conviction. Slowly, he stood up and held my face with both of his hands, quickly wiping away my tears, as if touching me for even a second was unbearable for him. "It’s just that.. everything feels like pressure now."

Suddenly, I realized something. I looked down at my bulging body and let out a bitter laugh.

“Do you not find me attractive anymore?” I whispered my words barely audible, but I knew he heard me. The procedures I had to take to get my body ready to get pregnant had pumped me with treatments that got me to increase much weight.

And I knew my darling husband finds a skinny woman to be attractive. Not a fat one. But I naively thought it wouldn't affect us. I thought Max would always love me as I loved him.

“Nothing is wrong with you, Layla. It's just that I need to put my work first for now. I’m doing this for us. Don't you want that dream house of yours by the lake anymore? You said it would be a good place to raise our child.”

Looking at him, my tearful eyes were wavering. Did I misunderstand him? He did focus on work just for our future? But why it felt so wrong now? Why couldn’t I feel the spark anymore when he looked at me?

I wanted to tell Max the damn house by the lake did not matter anymore and what I wanted were only him and our love but before that, his phone rang, and I could for a split second saw him smiling.

“Who is it?” I got closer to him. He did not answer it but sent some messages to someone that made him smile. The kind of smile he hadn't given me in a long time.

“Sweetheart, I need to go to work. The company is getting this big client, and I need to be there to negotiate some deals”

“Max, it is Sunday morning. And do you not remember what day it is today?” I asked and hoped he would remember the special day. I had very much wanted to spend the day in bed with my husband devouring my body. I was all on heat for sex!

“Sweetheart, I’m late for a meeting” he pecked my lips and went to take his bath. Before I could continue my endless list of questions, the door was slammed shut between me and my husband.

He did fast, even leaving no time for the breakfast I just prepared for him. I could tell he was in a hurry to meet this big client.

“I'll see you for dinner tonight” he waved his hand with a smile on his face before leaving me alone in our home. Again.

I stared at the door in a daze. Frustrations washed over me. He must have forgotten it was our third wedding anniversary. My head dropped and I felt tears again. Suddenly, the sound of a message came on my phone.

[The freshest flowers go with my best darling wife. Happy third anniversary!]

It was from Max, and he attached a photo of a bunch of flowers. He ordered flowers for me. A smile finally bloomed on my face.

“Turns out, I was overthinking our situation,” I told myself. Max didn't forget our anniversary. Maybe I should hold more faith in our marriage.

In a happy and cheerful mood, I spent the rest of the day cleaning our apartment and setting it in a romantic mood. A little music played while I took a long bath.

I had been a full-time housewife for my husband for the past year, caring for him and preparing for his needs. In the kitchen, I happily hummed our favourite song, surrounded by the aroma of garlic and fresh herbs cooked with the roasted chicken.

As I stirred the sauce, I envisioned a life with babies in our home. Chaotic but I was sure the excitement would outweigh the nerves.

“Tonight, I will succeed in getting us a baby, Max. The timing is perfect”

While I was deep in my thoughts, my phone rang. “Emily, not a good time.”

“Layla, I have been trying to get you. Why did you not answer my calls yesterday?”

Well, I honestly did not want to hear what my best friend Emily had to say. All I wanted at that time was to end the call, politely, “I was with Max, intimately”

I did not expect to hear Emily laughing from the other end, “You are lying. Everyone in the office could figure out there is something not quite right between you and Maxwell”

“Everyone? Don’t believe in gossip, Emily”

“Layla, he has been spending more time in the office and –“ Emily paused and I could hear her taking a few deep breaths.

“He has been spending more time with this particular new client for the business. In fact, you would not believe what I saw last Friday,” it sounded like Emily was walking somewhere quieter, waiting to tell me a secret, kind of quiet. “Your dear husband went shopping with that client of ours, a woman. They went out all day during office hours”

I went silent for a moment while thinking it was all a misunderstanding. Max will never cheat on me. ‘He loves me’.

“Emily..” I fake a laugh, trying to calm my emotions, “It is our anniversary today and I’m sure he went out to get me a present. In fact, we will have our anniversary dinner tonight. You know, Max loves to surprise me with gifts and I’m sure he has something planned for us at the restaurant”

“Someone got to keep an eye on that husband of yours. Layla, the woman he was with is someone not with a good reputation in this town. You got to be careful”

“I am being careful, and in fact, a baby would keep us closer. Tonight, will be the night. I am sure of it” I smiled happily while taking some medicine.

“Do you not think it may not be you being the problem here? Maybe it is his inability to give you the baby you want, is the real problem here” Emily’s words made me feel a little dizzy.

"Watch over your words, Emily. That's not a funny joke" I ended the call as I tried hard to hold my last politeness.

Seated on the balcony of our room, my heart became uneasy. I pressed the phone on my chest, shaking off those deep meanings from Emily's words.

Max would never betray me. Never.