"How many times do I tell you this?....I don't love you even a bit!"
This was the words of the person I loved most in the words before he turned, walking oh5 on me.
I stood under the heavy rain at 12:00pm, watching him leave. I couldn't bring myself to say anything. To call him back and to even tell him these words that I rather whispered.
"But I still......love you"
I found myself stand in under this heavy rain that didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.
people passed me by obviously running for cover. some with umbrellas, some without. some in pairs, some even trio and some alone.
I wasn't even interested in these details at the moment I was experiencing heartbreak. What they rather called the classical teenage heartbreak.
Gu yan was the person I loved the most in the world. My first love since highschool.
We had met in my early years of highschool. Back that as a nerd, I was bullied and as a re u it didn't like school. I wanted to find peace but didn't .
I was on the same rainy day that we met.
I was heading home regardless the rain that DA so as to meet up with my part time job. Suddenly I had bumped into one of the school bully.
Briefly his gangs had gathered and the bullying commenced.
Under the rain I felt bullied. I felt the urge to die finally. To end this cruel life but suddenly, for the first time someone had come to my rescue.
I didn't observe clearly, but I was certain that someone had fought them off.
With this mission compete, he had picked up my bag from the floor, giving it to me.
My vision was blurry from the rain but I managed to take the bag from him. I struggled to see whom he was but he had just turned to leave.
"Wait a minute" My trembling voice had managed to call as he stopped. His back facing me. " Who are you?"
The question was a little bit absurd to me. At least I should have said a thank you, but this was the only sentence that struck me to ask.
"Gu yan, call me that" He turned, walking closely to me.
Now I saw him. As he stared into weak eyes. I going strength. Just then, I had found a different person. Someone the world hadn shown me before.
I and Gu yan started off and the best of friends, helping out each other in various aspects of life. And with him, I grew to be more mature, coming out of my hidden shell and becoming the best of myself.
And like that we slowly turned into lovers. Together, we entered the same university and our love bloomed until now....
It was useless simply recalling pass lovely moments with him. Right now he had finally made himself clear and direct to me.
I wasn't tired of going after him, but I didn't want to be a fool for love even when I feel like that already.
Cold gripped me under the rain. I felt the rain drops touching each bone of mine and sending the chills through my spine.
I was weak to the core, not only because cold had entered me, but because I have lost the greatest strength of my life....Gu yan......
************* NEXT DAY. ************" MIN SAN'S APARTMENT
Min San's alarm clock went on and on and on for over 5 minutes now. It was driving me crazy already!
I rolled around on min San's luxurious bed for long trying to block the sound with the pillow by stuffing the against my ears but to no avail.
I couldn't get up to turn it off, I was too lazy yp do so.
But in a questionable manner, hadn't I just had the first and most heart touching breakup of my life just the previous day?
Don't I deserve at least a peaceful and quiet environment to sob?!
But why am I being troubled by this stupid alarm clock?!
Angered, I jerked up from bed looking at the alarm clock that was still doing it's annoying job.
"Hey!" I called out to it in annoyance. " Stop that!"
I felt ignored by it which was pretty absurd. But it hurt me. First Gu yan had ignored my feelings and broke up and now this?
No, I couldn't bear see another Gu yan again.
without further consideration, I picked up the pillow and tossed it angrily at the alarm clock. it pushed it aside and down on the hard ground.
Finally, it stopped it's absorb sound and I had a bad feeling that min San's expensive alarm clock.
"I'm back" I heard min San say as she flipped open the entrance door, entering.
She stopped, glaring at me and at the alarm clock.
"what happened here" Min San asked.
"Eh.... it... suddenly fell off the table and... that happened" I lied not touched because I know min San already noticed my white lie.
She folded her hands staring at me. She wasn't angry. my dear min San wasn't the type to get mad at the pathetic me.
In a quick run down. Min San is my university friend, but she lives outside campus. We met on the first day I enrolled into campus. At that time I was looking for Gu yan but I met her fighting with some girls. It was a serious girly argument.
I had to get to the rescue and as a result both of us were beaten up. I didn't regret it and she didn't.
"Why did you come to my rescue?" she had asked.
" A good friend of mine once told me. Never be afraid to give it a go" I smiled.
Friendship is something crazy and I got to say, we instantly became friends. She was the sunny Sansan that always made me smile and I was her so called true friend.
"Shouldn't you be attending classes now? you're in your final year so you should be more serious" Min San urged ignoring me and quickly arranging the place. she too had classes to attend to.
"Why should I care about those things?" I said reluctantly, watching her word.
she suddenly stopped, looking at me pitifully.
" You're certainly still hurt by Gu yan right?"
Her question hurt a lot because I think it was true. But I didn't want yo give in.
" Why would it still hurt me? Have you forgotten what I said last night? Since he has forgotten me that easily, I too have"
" It's not as easy as you say. You say one thing, but your heart says another. its a complicated thing all together"
"Even if its so. I'm not that weak to cling to him, I'm already making effort to forget him" I said with a heavy sigh.
Min San had come to sit besides me on the bed, stroking my head with her hand.
"If you truly had forgotten him, why then do you find it hard to tell me the cause of your break up"
In started at her, she was right. Was it that obvious? Can everyone reqd that I still love him?