Thursday, 9/3/15

Dear Diary,

I want to make one thing clear: Just because I have a diary does not make me a girly girl. I cannot even begin to express the annoyance I feel whenever someone says "You have a diary? But you're not even that girly!" Maybe I just want a diary! Personally, I feel as if a diary is a more personal possession, whereas a journal is something you can carry with you anywhere and everywhere; it doesn't matter much if someone stumbles upon your journal. I mean, obviously you wouldn't be happy with people reading it, but if someone read your diary you'd feel your insides turn to mush because your every secret is scribbled into the chunk of linked paper. That's the reason why I hide my journal in my closet.

Enough clarifications, let's get down to business, shall we? Because this is a new notebook,

a beautiful leather bound book with thick pages suited for the fanciest of pens, but here I am writing with a simple, black Papermate

I feel the need to introduce myself. My name is Gracelyn Addison Jacobs and I'm sixteen years old- almost seventeen in only two and a half short months. I live in a wet town in a barely known place, which is mostly overrun by middle class folk who have no idea what fun is.

The town in which I reside is known by the name of Woodfall. I am a product of two adults who go by the names of Benjamin Jacobs and Cassidy Jacobs. I have a twin brother named Leonardo, also known as Leo, and then an older sister named Avery. I know, I know, a lot of names in so little time. You'll get to know them eventually, and you'll get to understand the reason why I am the way I am. I go to Woodfall High School, and let me tell you about that place.

Woodfall High School- home of the Hammerheads, but it really should be home of the bucket heads, because that's basically the only thing that school contains. I bet you can relate, well, you probably would if you weren't just a notebook. But not all of the girls there are idiots- I have a few friends there. I know -surprise, surprise- but I'm a lot more fun than I seem, I promise. That school also contains a lot of stupid boys, which is common among most high schools. Your popularity is determined by the amount of sports you play and the number of parties you attend. You guessed it- I'm not very popular. However, Leo and his friends are.

Other than his slight ignorance and extreme carelessness, my brother isn't that bad. I guess, in a way, we grew apart, mainly because of his choice in friends. To put it bluntly, his friends are idiots. His best friend is the worst- Phoenix Carson. I hate the guy. I hate him so much. Allow me to tell our unnecessarily long history.

Phoenix Carson is one of the worst things to ever happen to me. My life may seem cliché but I can assure you that it is not. It would be cliché if Phoenix was my brother's charming best friend, but he isn't. He's my brother's demonic best friend with a passion to annoy me. If it were up to me, I'd ignore him. I've tried that, but he just doesn't let up. Leo and I have known Phoenix since the second grade. My brother and I were new. Phoenix and Leo immediately hit it off because of Phoenix's "cool name" and his love for violent video games, like my brother.

I was obviously the third wheel to their friendship. My father considered us a trio and forced us to do everything together. I felt as if Phoenix was stealing my twin from me so I obviously disliked him. Phoenix eventually caught onto my loathing for him because he soon grew to dislike me. Though, he couldn't keep his dislike to himself and he made it his goal to make me cry every time he was over. It went on like this until the fifth grade, where I grew a backbone and stood up to him. I assumed he'd stop and let it go, but he resorted to a sort of physical violence- something I couldn't exactly defend myself against. Don't misinterpret my words- he wasn't punching me in the face or anything, but he'd trip me in the halls, shove against my shoulder whenever he had the chance, and he'd throw things at me more often than not.

His violence continued until the eighth grade. He went too far. It was graduation day and I was forced into a pair of heels, which were too high for me. In order to get to the stage, I had to walk past the guy graduates. As you guessed, Phoenix was sitting in the front row, thanks to alphabetically organized rows. He thought it would've been funny to trip me, so he did. To be blunt, I fell and my arm broke. Through tears, I was able to see Phoenix freaking out, alongside my father and my brother. When my father went to get the car

to bring me to the emergency room

and my brother went to get my diploma, Phoenix began apologizing like a madman, telling me that he only wanted to embarrass me and that he didn't want to hurt me. He bought me candy and food for the rest of the summer, so I kept my mouth shut, though, looking back on it, I shouldn't have.

And ever since freshman year, he's gone back to teasing me but that's enough to drive me insane because he knows me, meaning he knows what ticks me off. And unfortunately, he knows about my love life, or lack thereof. So that's always what he makes fun of- my inability to get a date. And it's not like I don't want to date, it's just that...there's no one interested in me in a romantic way. And my brother would make sure to drive any candidates away, and if they somehow manage to get past him, they'll have to deal with my father. So I guess I'll wait until college to find someone. And hopefully, Phoenix won't follow me there.

I like a guy. In fact, I've liked him since the beginning of freshman year. I won't say his name because my diary always seems to be found and read by Phoenix during his time at my house. He may be states away now, but he's coming back tomorrow, and I already know that once he comes over, he's going to find and read my diary no matter how well I hide it. I already know that if Phoenix finds out about my crush, the entire school will find out. As of right now, only three people know- Camryn and Alice, my best friends, and my older sister Avery.

Alice thinks he's an idiot because he's on the football team and most of the football players are said to be stupid. In some cases, it proves to be true; my brother and Phoenix are on the football team. Speaking of the two, Leo and Phoenix don't like him, which is nothing new. I think that they're just mad that all of the girls seem to flock towards him. Though, I will admit that he does hurt a lot of them. That's why Avery isn't his biggest fan either. I like to think that he's different. I mean, I used to talk to him in freshman year, and I hope that he's still as nice as he was then. I don't think he could've changed that much.

I have to go. Even though we're barely into the school year, I have a load of homework sitting on my computer desk waiting for my arrival. I guess I'll write back at some other time.

Cheers,

Gracelyn