Prologue

"stop !" I yelled all rage breaking free when I grabbed his wrist and spun him around again .him stumbling at the movements causing me to steady him .

But to no surprise he pushed himself away from me again.

"kyungsoo!" I cursed when he started walking away again .

"what the hell is this !? Just tell me what's going on ! Why are you acting like this ??"

He didn't say anything keeping his pace in trying to just ignore and walk away from me .

"HEY !"

finally he stopped and I could only now see how heavy his breaths were when he turned around after hesitating . Only now as he turned to look at me standing in front if me with a distance between us . Not close to me but not too far for me to not look into his eyes clearly .

I wanted him to stop and tell me what's going on with him but now I couldn't lose a word .

His hair was messy and the circles under his eyes way too dark especially outstanding since his skin was so pale .he looked like a corpse .as he just continued glaring at me shocking me to the core. I never thought he could be wearing this expression one day . I never thought I would see him glaring at anyone.

Without explaination .

I hesitated looking over the messy him I could no longer understand. Lately it was like I didn't even know him anymore .. 

"where's kyungsoo? " the one who smiled and laughed at everything the one who always told me to be positive. Scolded me for smoking and doing all those horrible things .

The one who brought light into my darkness ?

A tear escaped his eyes but he didn't say anything and his glare didn't fade aswell when he turned away again .

But I had enough.

Skipping foreward I spun him around to face me again being shocked when I saw that his frown had completely disappeard again replaced with thousands of tears as he looked up at me in a pleading manner .

he didn't lose another word.

His hands rising one being balled to a fist but I showed no reaction when he stared sadly deep into my eyes .

This wasn't anger like I had  thought just a second ago.

he wasn't mad at me or anything.

Neither was he sad for me or himself .

He was .. scared .

The sky was dark when I looked over the smoke I blew as rings into the air .

Tapping the ash of my cigarette away .

Not one star I could see .. the whole sky was just Gray from the clouds. I would say it was peaceful and beautiful but the heavy music blasting from my headphones kinda blew that.

Besides that. The world is never peaceful anyway that's just some stupid illusion like the fantasy that everyone gets what he deserves .

You get what you take. dad knew that but he didn't know how to take that's probably why .. why he's there where he is now

And mum .. She's just like the others .. living in a fantasy .

I sighed sucking the smoke in once more before blowing it into the air again. Right before my phone rang.

Chat:

Where are u ?

I bit my lip throwing the rest of the cigarette simply to the side before jumping down from the engine cowling .to stump on it and kill the last sparks of it.

I got back into the car and turned the heaters on as I texted him back before starting to head off.

That was chat yes that's his name .A lot of people called him chatter because he was known for the guy who talks a lot he has a lot of connections ,dangerous and harmless ones . And some who only give him information .. almost everyone knew him which is what made him so dangerous .

If you lose a bad word about him, he'll know somehow. And once he's pissed  you're pretty much fucked.

"where the hell where you ?" He asked walking closer and fixing his leather jacket as he looked down at me . With his little followers behind him .

Not little not at all . I was the youngest in this circle.

They were all 25 -26

"traffic " I spat grabbing my bag and approaching them aswell .

I just turned 18 which gives me the 'kid' name mocoso .. it was Spanish I think it's suppose to mean brat or something like that .

"mocoso !" An arm flew around me

And there you have the man who gave me this name with his strong Spanish accent that would make all the ladies faint .. to be truthfully everyone here would make a lady faint which made us so famous too

"no one is believing in this Tonto "

He ruffled my hair and I just rolled my eyes pushing his hands off me as he chuckled .dieg was his name . Well that's what everyone called him since he Spain and everyone instantly thought of Diego it was stupid but I didn't question anything no one really carried their actually names here. There was always a nickname for everyone .

"doesn't matter, do you still have it ?" Sye questioned stepping forward and I raised an eyebrow, wasn't he known as the smartest of them .the one who knew about rules and how to break them

"why would I wear a freaking bag if I wouldn't have the shit ?"

He chuckled lightly stepping closer while looking around as chat peaked inside .

"sweet" he laughed patting my head

"good boy " that's what he always said to me .. like I was their pet or some shit .

Diegs arm flew around me again and he guided me forward to all the other guys . They were always different tho so it wasn't exactly a gang .there was just them who were always together .

dieg, chat and sye and me .the one whos getting the stuff in silence hiding them and getting information from whereever they want

but all the other .. They change places I don't even know their names because I don't bother memorizing any of them .

My mum and a lot of other people would say I'm ruining my future with all the stuff I do and hanging out with guys like them who take drugs and carry small weapons like knives and once I even spotted a gun.

But they don't understand that doing this and having a place to go to where I feel I belong to makes me feel free  and useful like my life wasn't just one out of a million .it was my own perfect illusion.

there is a time . 5 times a week way too many houres a day .. not that I attend all of them ofcorse but I'm forced to at least attend in the morning for my mum to leave me alone.

And .. school is not that bad after all .  I get to sleep throughout all classes and the girls can't stop drooling over me . Sounds narcissistic . But hey no one can say I lied . Most of the girls even turn red when I just spare a glance at them .

That even happened with a guy once .

Yep I turn guys into fag-

"Mr.kim!" A loud slap of wood hitting wood snapped me awake and i tiredly glanced before me to see

Mrs. Xiao glaring at me

"is there ever a lesson where you don't sleep !?"

"in biologie there was this girl , didn't know how to wear shirt neither a Bra-"

"enough !" She cut me off and I smirked as everyone chuckled around us .

"you will speak me after class "

"as always .." I rolled my eyes as she turned around again walking back towards the front .

Normally I would just ignore the teacher like I forgot at the end of class because listening to their scolding was annoying. Literly a whiny grown up who fucked their life up and now take their anger out on the students because they couldn't accomplish shit and their times running up .

"jongin "running was useless .

I sighed stopping in front of her table when she finished her notes .laying her pen down and folding her hands as she looked up at me .

"what do you want to be one day ?"

I looked up acting like I was thinking before glancing back down at her

"dead "

She sighed stroking her hair neatly back into the high up tight together hair .

"what do Yo- .. how do you expect this to continue ?"

"you mean how I want it to continue or how it will continue ?"

"what do you think ?"

I pressed my lips together to a thin line before answering "you will continue scolding me in every second lesson ,call my mum or cry on the shoulder of the principle for that I am such a little fuck up and I will sleep in the lessons walk out with a cigarette and have sex all night not giving a shit about anyone .. especially not ..

My old teacher who wasted her life" I grabbed into my pocket already turning to the door while I searched for my lighter in the pocket .

She slammed her hands angrily onto the table stopping me in my tracks in surprise,

never has she freaked like this .. i saw her cry a few times but never really angry so i like this.

I raised an eyebrow when she closed her eyes in anger straightening and fixing her fancy disgusting neatly top before stepping over to me .and I couldn't help but to release a small laugh.

She was a mess .

"there's a new student on this school since a week now " she started "Mr.huang is currently doing projects in music, the boy is really interested but there are no partners lef- "

"I don't have to do shit ok so don't even ask me " I knew where this was going and theres no way in hell I would waste my time more for some little nerd boy .

She grabbed my arm and I almost dropped the cigarette from between my lips

"please , I know you're interested in music aswell and your mother told me you used to play the pian-"

"used to which means NOT ANYMORE" I sighed it to her with my hands taking the cigarette between my two fingers

"so unless you have a lighter ?, which you don't .." I trailed off when I actually saw her chuckling empty .

"sorry ... I didn't want to use this option .. " she calmed stroking her hair neatly back again and I frowned taking the cigarette back to hold it between my lips as I burried my hands in my pocket to listen to what she has to say now "you know .. I just realized you called me old earlier ..

When I'm probably not much older than your friends "

My expression went blank as she said that "how did you?"

"you shouldn't be breaking cars close to my house if you didn't want anyone to know " I actually can't believe what is happening right now .. that's a teacher .

"holy shit " I took the cigarette again smirking at her

"you're blackmailing me "

"call it what you want, the boys name is doh kyungsoo I already told them you will be attending class from now on too " she doesn't give me a choice does she .

I huffed feeling slightly angerd but not wanting to show her .

I turned back to the door again when she stopped me again "jongin .."  I turned just in time to catch the lighter she threw at me "smoking is unhealthy "

Back to her old boring self . I rose my hand showing her my loved middle finger .before lighting my cigarette and finally leaving this shithole named school .

Can't believe she thinks it's a good idea to put me in a group with someone else .. he'll end up beaten in the corner.