He seems to be my idol, but in fact he is really my idol.

I hate him. Since he came to our family, I have not received any attention from our parents. Everything is in him. Everything he wants is obeyed and given. As for me, I begged a few times to buy new shoes for my volleyball game because those shoes are super worn out, they can't even buy them.

"Understand your mother and me, Cyrill. Those shoes you're buying are expensive. The money your mother and I earn from working is for your brother's medicine only and for our important needs here in the house. "

"I'm always the one who needs to understand our situation. I've begged you a few times to buy those shoes, but you won't let me. Is it my fault that that boy's heart is weak? And I also need to sacrifice my needs because of him?! " I pushed the table hard and then walked out towards my room.

I even saw my weak-hearted brother looking at me and smiling at me. 'Is he whining? 'Does he really need to smile like that when I'm having a bad trip?'

I hate him. Yes, my brother and the youngest in our family, but does he need all the attention? Why does he need to think about it? Allen is not allowed to get tired. Allen is not allowed to eat like this. Allen is like that. Allen is like this. Bullshits. They were just thinking about Allen's needs. Is he the only child of Papa and Mama? I am also a child as well as my twin Zyrill. I just can't understand my twin why she doesn't get angry at our youngest brother even though it's unfair to her too.

Suddenly, I heard my room open and Allen came in smiling at me.

"What else do you need? Get out of here! " I shouted at him. He was obviously surprised, but that smile did not disappear from his lips.

"I just have a question, sister." he approached me.

"What's that? Hurry up and ask and I'll go to sleep. " I shouted at him again.

"What kind of shoes do you want to buy?" I was surprised at his question. I want to scold him because of that. He wants me to get annoyed?

"And you're still being a jerk, nuh?"Get out of my room!!! " I shouted even louder "OUT!!!!" That smile disappeared from his lips, then he bent down and left my room.

But before he finally left the room, he said "Sis, when I buy those shoes you want. Will you play with me? " He smiled again.

"I DO N'T KNOW! GET LOST IN FRONT OF ME!!! "

That night, Allen suddenly fell ill again. He was suddenly rushed to the hospital again because he could not breathe properly and his skin was turning violet. They scolded me, my mother, because I shouted at my younger brother, which is why he got sick. The f * ck?! I'm the one to blame again. It's always me. I'm not doing anything wrong.

My father lost a lot of money in the bank because of Allen's sudden hospitalization. Bullsh * t!. That boy is just a cost. The huge amount of money that goes into treating him while I just wanted new shoes they haven’t bought yet.

The next day, when I came home from school, I found my mother and Zyrill at home. Dad and Mom had sad eyes and seemed to have just finished crying. I just ignored them. They are always like that when they come out of the hospital because of my brother's condition.

Allen, on the other hand, was just lying in our living room and watching a volleyball game on a channel while something was put in his nose to breathe properly.

"Big Sis.. Come here, let's watch! "he said to me. Although he had difficulty breathing because of what was in his nose, he still tried to speak.

"I do not want to!" when I reject him.

"Sis, are you this good? Sis, I want to watch how you spike. Sis, you have practice later, right? Can I watch it? Sis, can I go with you? " He was scratching me.

"You can't! You're not allowed to go out of the house. You're weak. You can't walk. "

"Ah, is that so? Just record it, sister.All right, sister. I idolize you. I would also like to play volleyball, but mom and dad don't want to either. I'm not allowed. "

"Because you're weak so you're not allowed. Don't be naughty. You're making my head hot again! " I entered the room and slammed the door.

He's naughty. He can't understand that his situation is not simple. I heard that my mother is the one he teases now and not me. 'Badtrip at school, followed by a badtrip at home.'What a life! '

I just took those shoes that I always use whenever we practice volleyball and put glue on the soles. It's really crazy. My team-mates always laugh at me when we play. My shoes look very hungry because they are gaping. Bullsh * t.

When I got home from practice, I found Allen outside watching the kids play volleyball in front of our house. He was smiling and seemed jealous because a child like him was happily playing outside, but here he was just looking at them. His smile widened even more when he saw me coming.

"Sis, did you see those kids in front of our house? They're great. "he said to me as he followed me to the kitchen." Sis, when my sick is gone. Will you teach me too? That child is being taught by his sister.

"If you get better? There's no cure for your illness. " He stopped talking. "Then I won't play volleyball anymore. I quit earlier. "

"Why sis? Is it because you don't have shoes? You're going to have shoes sis. Just don't stop playing. "

"Get out of there where I'm going!"

I rebuffed him, then went to my room and locked him up. I will never stop playing volleyball. I only said that because I was annoyed with him so that he wouldn't tease me to teach him how to play. Because of my mother, I will only be scolded and I will be the one to blame when his illness attacks him again.

In the evening, I heard that Allen was teasing my father again and it looked like they were changing conversation again. If Allen wanted something, even if it's expensive, they'll buy it for my brother right away. 'Bullshits that pain. Should the wishes of sick people always be followed? My parents are really unfair.