MONDAY 10, APRIL 2017

　　*** TAMARA ***

　　I ground my teeth in anger and disgust after what Kim had done to me. Kim seriously just ducked away and left me, the person whom she called her best friend in the washroom. What kind of a best friend was she?

　　Kim had gone to the 'Star & Star' studio with me for auditions. The actress Fiona Rivado famously recognized as Fiona was again starring in the latest movie with PWP: Picture White Production, the company she worked with since the start of her career. It has been a PWP's annual practice to have a movie featuring an auditoinee released.

　　That year, contestants were extra commendable since the audition winner should be starring with Fiona. Also, the auditions were a little different that year. With acting, the contestant had to be a good dancer.

　　Kim and I had not just two but three of that: acting, singing, and dancing. Fiona herself was too. She was in fact an actress and a musician by career. And she used to claim, it was easy for her to be a musician than an actress, but, she loved acting more.

　　Kim always wanted to be a star. She had the potential but she also knew that I was better than her. I was better than her at anything. Even at school, stuffs were easier with 'brainy Tamara'. I was not even trying hard but Kim, with all her efforts, was never able to score over her best friend. That was not going to change. And the fact stood as a big challenge in our friendship.

　　One thing for certain both of us knew, if we had both gone to audition, I would have won. But it was Kim's dream to become a star, not mine.

　　In the washroom, Lydia had recognized me. She was wearing camera around her neck. Lydia was one of our classmates in school. It would have made sense if I had not recognized her, but I did. I was cool with anyone and used to talk to almost everyone back at school. But I was popular so I was closer and friends with the popular kids.

　　After finding out that it was Kim who auditioned, Lydia suggested me to, as well. She was too enthusiastic about the idea, as if she had already fantasized Fiona and I dancing together. She screamed her wish all over, pulling Tamara to Jaydon.

　　Havey Jaydon was the producer and Lydia's father. I had not remembered that until I saw him. I was seeing him live for the first time. He looked richer than in photos. And a smile was always a part of his dressing.

　　I was so surprised hearing him calling his daughter, 'princess'. Dads still called their elder daughters that? In public.

　　Kim was devastated. She was not going to win then, only because of me. Once again, she was going to lose something just because I was there to win over her.

　　Though, I felt pushed. I argued and denied. Kim thought that her best friend was faking. She was all raged. She ran away; I ran after her.

　　It did not turn out quite well for me. I ran after my best friend and that was the end of it.

　　'You always take away what belongs to me,' Kim blurted.

　　It was clear. She didn't want me anymore. But I could not agree with it. I fought for myself and my friendship until Kim spat overly bitterly, 'we are over you selfish bitch,' and walked away.

　　I was left too shocked. I ran back in. I had left my shoulder bag. I was low and did not know that that really meant what it was. If it did, it was really over.

　　I knew my best friend. Kim was at times unfair with decisions to the people she associated with. I did not like that about her. But I would always put that up with her because she was my best friend.

　　Things were just starting to get better between us after the last rift on our high school graduation. I had won a scholarship that Kim wished for dearly. With that, she had not spoken to me for straight five weeks. She was not even there at the airport to bid me a goodbye when I was leaving for my course; she had no idea about it. Later, we used to talk on phone but it had been only few days since we met after we both returned abroad from our studies.

　　I then wanting to heed out, I had thought of it. I would leave Kim to cool down then I would call her after three days. If Kim would say it was over, I would pretend I didn't hear the words, swallowing bitter saliva. I would forget her if that would be Kim's wish.

　　*** FIONA ***

　　I entered the staged room furiously. Everyone stood with astonishment. I drank from a water glass and put it back on the table with a thud. I put my hands over my hairs, pulling them backward with thoughts of anger. I screeched painfully.

　　Emima and Erisha, the Roult twins and Star & Star attendants moved to me. They wanted to calm me. I shoved them away.

　　'Don't touch me!' I shouted at them.

　　The Roult twins stepped back. I picked up a small knife from the fruits' bowl, wanting to slit myself.

　　*** TAMARA ***

　　Everyone was rushed away. Until further notice, the auditions were canceled. It was heartbreaking for those who were pumped to be stars but had not gotten a chance to showcase their talents. People started to leave but others were around for gossips. The guards started chasing them away.

　　Getting out of the washroom, I did not understand what was going on. A boy was insisting to get into the audition room. Then everyone close to the room heard noise of something breaking. The guard was shouting that the auditions were over. The boy would not budge. The guard started chasing out the boy.

　　That was the lucky chance. I entered the audition room through the unguarded door to see what was going on. Lydia coming from a different room, she quickly ran to the room and took control of the door so no one entered in. She called a guard rushing by to keep guarding no matter what while she joined the others in the room.

　　Inside, I saw Fiona, everyone's attention on her. It was so obvious so. She was gorgeous, she was a winsome celebrity and at that moment, she had a small knife next to her right wrist, ready to slit herself. The attention on her was too intent that no one noticed me there as unauthorized person.

　　There were glass shards everywhere. I guessed that they were of the noise I heard when I was outside, the beautiful actress destroying a tea set.

　　*** FIONA ***

　　'Fiona, don't do anything stupid.' Ron Riger, the director begged. 'Put the knife away.'

　　I pointed the knife to Riger and back to myself. I did not want anyone close to me or I would harm them. But it was more important to harm my body.

　　When I was sure that no one would meddle, I closed my eyes. I was as well scared. I had never done it before in real life. I flashed it back in my head. I once wanted to die. I had a knife and made viewers believe that I slit my pulsating vein with it. I was taken to the hospital but died on the way.

　　It is going to just like that. I thought. There is no difference between real life and filming life. Besides, we show what happens in real life. Real pain? My thoughts had not reached there. I was only thinking of dying.

　　Raising the blade for a perfect target, I had my eyes closed. Putting the knife into action, sharply, I claimed my life away.

　　*** TAMARA ***

　　'Aah!' I winced painfully.

　　I had butted in. My palm was running blood. I had to hold Fiona's arm, not the knife's blade. Now my hand was gorged.

　　Fiona breathed out fearfully.

　　Regretfully, Fiona's fixed gaze was on me. I was staring Fiona's eyes that were gleaming tears. Most of the people used to say that Fiona had the most beautiful eyes. Constantly, people who felt they were good-looking used to compare themselves with her and her eyes. It was because they were too shiny. But I could tell. They were not just shiny because of her purple crimson iris. They were too watery.

　　Emima, maybe, provided that the Roult twins were too resembling, had the first aid box. Fiona also used to confuse between them.

　　I quickly took off my ring and put it on the slab table. I did not want it to get in contact with blood. It was a beautiful neat possession. After cleaning my hand, the Roult twins dressed me.

　　'Thank you,' I addressed them with a smile.

　　*** FIONA ***

　　Tamara stood. Walking up to me, I was terrified. Was she going to repay me? Hit me or shout at me? But I was slitting myself, wasn't I? Why did she come in between? Who was she? The girl was poorly hurt because of me and I was regretting.

　　Tamara rose her dressed hand to my face. My eyes poked out in shock. My first thought was that the girl was going to slap me. Instead, Tamara touched my cheek and placed her thumb at my lips corner.

　　'Don't do that again,' she said to me.