This novel has been retitled and rewritten as "Silent Night, Broken Mind."

Prologue

“Mama, it’s Christmas Eve!” little Jerry reminded her.

“Shut up, boy! Christmas is for sissies! This family doesn’t celebrate Christmas!” his mother screamed at him.

“But, Mama!” little Jerry cried.

“Oh, just shut up and go to your room, now! I can’t deal with your whining!” Jerry’s mother yelled.

Devastated, Jerry ran to his room crying. Christmas was his favorite holiday, and every year since Jerry could remember had been the same. No presents under the tree. In fact, there was never even a tree. Jerry hated going back to school after Christmas break, hearing his friends talk about all the great Christmas presents… new toys… new clothes… they received for Christmas, gushing about what great families they all had. And all Jerry could do was listen to it and get sad… really sad; to the point his mother put him in a mental institution years later.

When Jerry was about twenty-five, the institution decided that Jerry was well enough to go out on his own into the real world.

Chapter 1 – Released Into the Cold

Jerry leaves the mental institution carrying a garbage bag of clothes, a few therapy worksheets, and a childlike hope that life can finally begin. The world feels overwhelming after years inside. Christmas decorations fill the streets, triggering painful memories but also fascination.

His social worker helps him get a tiny apartment in a worn-down neighborhood. The first thing Jerry buys is a cheap plastic snow globe from a dollar store. He stares at it for hours that night, mesmerized by the fake snow swirling around the tiny Christmas tree inside.

Chapter 2 – Learning the World

Jerry struggles with normal life. He doesn’t understand social cues, avoids eye contact, and becomes obsessed with routines. Coworkers at his janitor job whisper about him.

But Jerry discovers something magical: Christmas movies. He watches them nonstop on an old TV from a thrift store. Families laughing together. Trees glowing in warm living rooms. Smiling children opening presents.

Jerry begins believing Christmas has the power to “fix” broken people.

Chapter 3 – The Friendly Neighbor

An elderly neighbor named Mrs. Elkins notices Jerry’s loneliness. She invites him over for hot chocolate and cookies. It is the first time in his life that someone has celebrated Christmas with him.

Mrs. Elkins gives Jerry a tiny ornament shaped like a reindeer. Jerry treasures it like gold. For the first time, he feels loved.

But when Mrs. Elkins casually says, “Christmas is about kindness, not perfection,” Jerry misunderstands. In his mind, Christmas must become perfect.

Chapter 4 – Obsession Begins

Jerry transforms his apartment into a Christmas wonderland. Lights cover every wall. Hundreds of ornaments hang from the ceiling. He spends all his money on decorations.

His coworkers laugh at him after seeing fake snow in his locker. One of them calls him “Psycho Santa.”

Humiliated, Jerry’s cheerful obsession darkens. He begins believing that cruel people “ruin Christmas spirit.”

Chapter 5 – The Naughty List

Jerry starts writing names in an old notebook labeled Naughty List.

At first, it seems harmless: rude customers, mean coworkers, loud neighbors. But the list grows disturbing. Beside each name, he writes punishments.

Mrs. Elkins becomes worried when Jerry asks strange questions like, “What should happen to people who hate Christmas?”

Chapter 6 – A Perfect Christmas

Jerry meets a waitress named Holly at a diner decorated for the holidays. Holly is kind to him and loves Christmas as much as he does.

Jerry instantly becomes obsessed, convinced that fate brought them together. He begins fantasizing about the “perfect Christmas family” they could build.

Holly mistakes Jerry’s awkwardness for sweetness and agrees to spend time with him.

Chapter 7 – Cracks in the Snow Globe

Holly notices Jerry’s apartment is unsettling beneath the festive decorations. The walls are covered with handwritten Christmas quotes. Dozens of ticking clocks count down to December 25th.

Jerry grows possessive when Holly talks about spending Christmas with her own family. He insists she should spend it with him instead because “real families stay together.”

Meanwhile, Mrs. Elkins secretly contacts Jerry’s former institution after discovering the Naughty List.