"Are you aware that I like you?"

"Of course, and I like you too!" I said with a smile, this girl being as kind as ever.

"Hehe~"

"I want to hug you, but I can't since Mother worked so hard on my dress!"

Tonight is the final Prom I'll ever have in high school, and it'll most likely be the last if I don't get into college.

That's why, even if things aren't going well right now, I want to give it my all.

"Good," she replied as she curtsied, "because tonight, I have a gift just for you, our princess."

"Well, if I'm the princess, then you're the queen!" I giggled.

I couldn't stop laughing until I realized she wasn't, not even a smile. She halted in front of me and I frowned. I tilted my head.

I suddenly realized that this wasn't the school's location... It's just a forest with the moon as the only source of illumination.

"Hmm, are we lost? You said you knew the route," I inquired, and confused.

"Yes, I know the way; however, as I already stated, I have a present for the princess."

I was surprised, but also a little eager, because I had no idea what kind of gift she had prepared to be that intense! Though, she’s acting weird…

However, witnessing her quiet but creepy smile, my joy faded and was replaced with confusion.

She continued, "I can't be a queen; it's not about being lovely; it's about having royal blood."

I frowned, unsure of what she was getting at.

"What if you lose all that blood in your body? You won't ever be the queen, will you?" she asked, pulling a knife from her dress.

As my eyes widened with dread, she licked the knife with her long tongue...

She's joking, right? Right?

It was only a few moments ago when I considered my future...

I had recently survived from a near-death experience around two months ago...

Now...

Will I really be without a future?!

TWO MONTHS AGO

"Nyah, I'm going to be late for class! Karina muttered as she hurried along the street with a piece of bread in her mouth. However, she ran into a man around the corner! ”

“Oof!”

"Karina was about to become enraged when she raised her head and noticed a handsome man with incredible attractiveness!”

“Sophia!”

"When her mother called, Sophia was reading a comic book about the female lead, Karina, who was falling in love at first. Only to be called by her mother to meet a dashing young man whom her mother wished to introduce her to! ”

"A ball struck the back of Bella's head just as she was flipping through the pages of Sophia's life story, Sophia's Slippers!"

“Ouch! Keep an eye on it! ”

"Bella stood up to complain only to be confronted by a handsome man dressed in a jersey and covered in sweat!”

“Ahh! " I slapped the notepad down on my table, knowing that this never-ending cliché story would carry on until there were no more pages! "Seriously, what is this?" I said. “Don't tell me it's just about bumping into a hot guy, okay? ”

I looked at Filia, my best friend, who had been grinning nonstop since I opened the notepad she had asked me to read. “Pft! Hahaha! Isn't it fantastic? ”

"Is that a joke?" I asked, frowning.

Is this a tricky question? I can't tell the difference between Filia's serious and goofy sides since she loves to prank others, including me!

"It's a loop story," Filia said as she sat beside me, "I was going to fill the whole notebook with it but I got tired around two pages. Didn't you say you'd read it all? It's a shame, because they're all quite attractive males. ”

"I got cringe all over my body," I shook my head and handed the notebook back to her. If that was a joke, you succeeded on that."

She was still going to tease me more when our adviser entered the room, Filia stopped bothering me, and everyone returned to their proper places silently.

"All right, class, your next subject is cancelled since we're having a meeting about your retreat; you can leave early today.Please don't linger in the classroom for too long, and club activities are also cancelled for today," our advisor said before exiting the room again.

"Argh... retreat... after this Christmas party, then Christmas holiday," my desk mate, Patricia sighed.

"Not only that, after break, we'll be preparing for plenty of stuff like Prom, thesis, and then reviewing for College tests before graduation," I didn’t notice Filia was already behind me and grumbled along with my desk mate, "Our last year of high school gives us hope while also putting us through too much effort."

"Says the person who doesn't take homework seriously," I chuckled in response to their remarks.

Filia sulked.

They aren't entirely wrong; it is the final year of our senior year of high school, and instead of being cheerful, we have experienced more tension than usual. Is this typical? "However, I'm concerned about College..."

“Hmm? You haven't decided on which school to apply to yet? " Filia inquired, tilting her head.

Oops, I blurted out what I was thinking…

"Well, I still don't know what I want, so I can't choose yet," I said hesitantly as I scratched my head.

“Ehh? You're talented in the arts, so I assumed you'd go to art school or an animation studio school? " said Filia.

Patricia disagreed saying, "She's brilliant at writing too, she might do journalism?"

"Well, journalism and animation might not be right for me," I scratched my back, "And you know how difficult it is to obtain job in those fields."

It's too risky…. Financially…

"Geez, Letizia!" Filia exclaimed, shaking her head. “You should do something you enjoy! Working for passion, rather than working for profit, leads to success. Working for profit is not only uninteresting, but it may also stress you out! Have faith in yourself! ”

“Yup! You have a lot of talent! " Patricia added.

If only it were that easy...

"I'll think about that," I said as I packed my belongings and stood up. "I have a lot of homework to do before retreat."

“Agh! That's right! I don't want to think about it!” Filia commented stroking her hair in a messy way.

I exited the room and proceeded to my locker to put my belongings. I lied to them. I had already completed my schoolwork and worked on it in my spare time at class or when the teachers are lecturing. I have things at home about which I should be concerned rather than bringing everything with me...

"Sigh..." I sighed as I closed my locker. "What am I supposed to do?” I muttered.

I walked down the hall, my mind racing with ideas...

I lied...

None of my classmates have any idea who I really am...

I'm just a phony...

I only knew a few people, and they assumed I was conservative... But I felt embarrassed talking to anyone on their level. Only Filia speaks to me without passing judgment. As a result, she is my best friend on whom I can rely. Even if it was only this year that I met her.

I'm in the same boat as her, transferee.

I’m Letizia, a fortunate one enough to receive a scholarship to this privileged institution. But it won't be long before I lose this as well.

I felt inferior seeing this massive school every day, with luxury cars going by to pick up students. I just have a brain... or more accurately, a photographic memory.

I felt humiliated. But not because of those factors, but rather because of what they possess...

Family.

I'm an orphan who has never been chosen as anyone's daughter even now. Despite the fact that I am intelligent, diligent, and dependable, hardly one chooses me. Every day, I wondered aloud, "What is wrong with me?"

I'm in a foster home, and I'm only allowed to stay there until I'm of legal age. I'm getting close to that age.

"Sigh..." I was in deep thoughts when I was jolted awake! “Ahh! ”

My unfortunate nose was greeted with a firm chest, "Ms. Ricci.”

"P-professor Jaheim, I'm sorry," I said, looking up and biting my lower lip.

Professor Jaheim handed me his handkerchief, which I reluctantly accepted, and said, "It's still early, you can visit the nurse office for a while."

"Yes, sir," I bowed and walked away awkwardly.

"He smells good..." I say as I place his handkerchief over my reddish weak nose.

When I arrived at home, our Mother Grace welcomed me with big smile, "Letizia!" she said while wearing an apron. “You've come home early! I am still baking snacks.!”

"It's okay, Mother Grace," I said as I removed my shoes, "Are the others still not here?”

Mother Grace rolled the dough for the cookies and cupcakes she was making, "Nope, but the younger ones are still sleeping upstairs."

"All right, then I'll change my clothing and assist you instead."

"Are you sure you don't have schoolwork to do?”

"As usual, I finished it."

"I see, then thank you," she said… but then…

Mother Grace remembered something while I was walking to up to the stairs, "Oh, sweetheart! Wait!”

"Yes, Mother?" I asked as I turned around and meet her eyes.

"I have wonderful news," Mother Grace said as she gathered her belongings and approached me. "Since your birthday is in February, Father Priest agreed you may finish the school year and we'll still give you with everything you need until graduation. As a result, you won't have to worry about work until you graduate from high school." She said excitedly.

"Don't worry, Mother Grace," I said softly with a smile, "I have enough savings, you know, to prepare. It's better to be ready than doing it late and regretting it."

"Ohh, you're such a wonderful girl, if only I could help you--" I cut her off and grabbed her shoulder, "Mother, it's alright, my 17 years in here were more than enough. That makes me happy. It's just that it's about time for me to stand on my own two feet, to be independent."

"I'm going to look for an apartment or room for rent next week, see if my friends can assist you out," Mother Grace pouted. “It's the least I can do for you."

Before going up, I kissed her cheeks and said, "That's more than enough, thank you."

I stowed my suitcase on my deck bed and proceeded to take a bath.

"That's right, I have to leave this place soon..." I muttered as I shut the bathroom door.

I'm not sure which is more painful: leaving my only family who cares for me, even if they'll soon find their own family and abandon us, or being on my own, alone.

I watched my brothers and sisters leave one by one for seventeen years, as others arrived year after year. And now it's my turn to leave... But instead of leaving with a family, I'll be alone...

Tears streamed down my cheeks as my chest tightened with that thoughts...

I'm not quite ready yet...

I put my hand over my lips, frightened they'd hear me cry...

I was a wonderful kid... I tried everything I could to make people like me...

Yet…

I'm not allowed to have a family...

"How come no one likes me?"

And it gets worse...

When next year...

I won't be able to attend college...

I need to work in order to save... I need to save in order to survive...

"I can do this..." I thought to myself as I wiped away my tears and looked in the mirror.

But my thoughts were betrayed by my dream... In the mirror, I noticed a frame with my art on it... It was the first successful painting I made when I was a child... And Mother Grace saved most of my arts everywhere at home... Whether successful or trial and error arts...

I'm crying all over again...

I'm afraid I can't...

I can't... make my dream come true…

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KircheLeaf • Angelo Jurane

SEASON I

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~ END of CHAPTER I ~