BORED.

That is one word that can describe me right now. I glanced at the bronze colored clock that is hanged against my cream painted walls. It was not originally bronze as it is made of plastic but I got tired of looking at the same red rimmed clock so I sprayed a bronze metallic paint on it. I saw one tutorial video on the internet and I fell in love with the concept of minimalism and neutral tones. I was actually the type of person that wants no style, in fact I am not the one who follows social trends. I strongly stand that trends always changes every season and being trendy is costly. When I found out about the concept of minimalism, I realized that it is okay to embrace trend once in a while, plus this trend I guess is the cheapest among all. Imagine, you don’t need to buy a lot of stuff to be on trend. It will cut your budget to the bottom plus your home will still look cozy and much cleaner since you don’t have a lot of stuff.

I am sitting on my bed and I am looking at the window pane while the golden sunshine goes through. It is already 3:50 in the afternoon and I still don’t know what to do. I woke up a bit early today, around three in the morning and I never fell asleep again so I just decided to do the house cleaning and stuff. I took all my soiled clothes and washed them. I also finished vacuuming the whole place and even wiped all the windows and cabinets. I ate my not so fancy breakfast at ten, which is a bit late for some few people.

Living solo has perks and downsides. You have the full control of your time, you can come and go whichever hour you want without someone monitoring your every other moves, you can even sleep all day long if you want to. Sadly, it becomes so boring too. You have no one to talk to, you have been used to your routine where it was once exciting but now it lost all its appeal to you but you still need to continue doing it since you are an all-around person responsible for your life. And the biggest challenge here is the budget and when you fall sick. I guess, everyone who is living alone can relate to me.

I slowly slithered my body against the cold wall and pouted. I looked at the mirror just opposite to my bed and a horrifying creature looked back at me – myself who is looking so much messy. My hair looks like bird’s nest because I never tried to pick up the comb since last day. I am wearing a loose sky blue t-shirt, an ochre short shorts and a black rimmed glasses. I blew a breath and my bangs flew away from my forehead. Then I heard a grumbling sound. I looked down and realized that my stomach asks for food right now. I guess, I need to feed myself first.

I slowly rose and straightened the bed cover then went to the kitchen only to see that I basically have nothing on the cupboards and fridge. This calls for grocery shopping. I went back to my room and picked an off-shoulder upper shirt and a blue jeans on the closet. I paired it with my coffee colored flats and I decided to take a bath. I grabbed my maroon shoulder bag that contains my wallet, phone, powder and lip tint and I checked my reflection in the mirror. When I was satisfied with my look, I went out of my unit and grabbed my keys on the wooden holder near the door.

It took me another eight minutes before I reached the ground floor and exited the building. I checked the bus station and the next trip is an hour from now. The bus just passed three minutes ago so I have no other choice but to walk to the nearest mall which is thirty minutes away from my place. The sides of the rode has trees which provide shade for the passerby and I must say, it is one government project that I loved.

Upon reaching the entrance of the mall, the cold surge of air coming from the centralized air-conditioning system hit my skin. The familiar smell of the air and people going in and out of the establishment greeted me. The guard checked my bag before I passed the entrance. I decided to eat pizza since the place was not packed. I really hate crowded restaurants. I ordered a solo sized pepperoni pizza, a serving of lasagna and a tall glass of apple flavored ice tea.

I was slowly munching my food when my phone vibrated. I swiped the green button when I saw that it was my Mom who is calling me. I smiled bitterly before I placed the phone against my ear.

“Hello, ma?” I greeted the other line. Do you wonder why I don’t feel so happy when she calls? Because I feel like she have abandoned me.

I was just in grade one when my father died from a car crash. My Mom worked abroad in order to provide whatever I need and she left me in my Grandma’s care. I was ten when she went home but she was not alone, she was with someone, a man whom she introduced as my step-dad. It really felt so awkward as I was ogling at the tall man who looks like a stout kettle. She and Ebrahim married three months later and Mom announced that she is pregnant. I don’t hate them because they fell in love with each other. My step-dad treats me like I am her own daughter until now but I can still feel like I don’t belong to the family. I am an extra.

After Mom gave birth to my sisters Lexi and Levy, the twins, all the attention was on them. I don’t feel jealous however, I feel inferior. I feel like I am the least of their concern. They don’t attend school meetings when I was in junior year and did not even attend my recognition saying they are too busy with stuff or they just simply forget about it. They even can’t remember my birthday anymore. When Grandma died when I was 15, just last year, I decided to live alone far away from them.

I know that they are against the notion of me being away from home but I don’t feel like it is home anymore. I took a test from a university in the city which offers senior high school and here I am, on my eleventh grade and struggling big time. You might wonder where the 17 year old me gets money from – I draw. It is one thing I do best. I started making comics when I was on junior high school and my talent was seen by a publisher and they invited me to make comics on volumes and it pays good. I started working since I was 15, just after Grandma died. This was the time I was happy after her death since I received my contract.

I put the money on a bank account and I used it to pay for the lease for my unit. I took a five year contract which made almost all my money gone. Good thing that I don’t need to pay tuition fee and I can just walk to the university. And every month, I receive payment from the company.

“Hey, I just want to ask how are you right now?” Mom asked. I almost scoffed but I tried my best not to. I just held the fork tighter before I answered that I am totally fine and asked back if they are okay which I presumed that they are.

“By the way, when will you go back here? We missed you and your sisters are always looking for you.” True enough, my sisters and I are quite close if you can call it that way. I love them even though they act like little brats sometimes since Mom and my step-dad spoiled them.

“I don’t know. It’s Monday tomorrow and I have classes. I usually do my homework and projects on Saturday and clean the next day. It is still months away before a holiday so I guess, I can’t.” I never said sorry even once. Why? Because it is unnecessary. My sorry will change nothing and it is not my fault why I am away from them.

“Okay, but always remember that my birthday is coming around. I want you to be there. Or if ever you can come home, do tell me.” I just sighed once again and I felt like my appetite sunk to the bottom.

“Yeah, I will see what I can do. Bye.”

I pressed the red button and looked at the foods on the table. I guess I’ll just eat this at home later. I raised my hand to call for the waiter and I asked for a bag to wrap my foods to go. He smiled politely and placed all the remaining foods in a bag as per my request and I left the pizzeria. I took a cart when I entered the grocery section and picked whatever stuff I need such as food stocks, soap and cleaning materials and tissue papers then I paid and went straight to the bus station.

I was glad that this time, the bus was still there, waiting for passengers to fill it. I swiped my card as a payment and went straight to the left side and sat on the chair situated next to the window. Now, the light and darkness mixes in a beautiful hue in the sky. I sighed once more and decided to plug my earphones and played the pop songs I usually play.

I softly hummed to the tune as I don’t want the others to hear me. Good thing that the surroundings is noisy. When the bus stopped a few meters away from my home, I descended just like some other passengers. I went straight to my unit and arrange the stuff I brought on its designated cabinets. I feel like my energy was drained the time my back hit the soft cushion of my bed. I stared blankly at the ceiling and slowly, I closed my eyes. I guess the need to sleep is now at its peak.