We all have desires. The desire for a position, wealth, power and even love. When desire takes control of us, we will do whatever it takes to fulfil that ambition. Sometimes we just focus on that desire until we don't realize what we have sacrificed for it.

Often we only see what looks beautiful. Someone who looks perfect and has everything that makes us jealous without seeing what that person feels. As the saying goes, we can measure the depth of the ocean, but we can't see what's in a person's heart.

Someone who sees perfect and has everything is the most empty person. Someone who shows very cheerful and has no problems at all is someone who has a lot of anxiety. We can't judge someone by their outward appearance alone, we see that, but we always do.

We judge to make it standard and law in society. Sometimes it works well by getting someone to improve themselves. But often we cross the line in judging someone to drive them to be the perfect person we want them to be. Then they try so hard to live up to that standard until they get hurt.

We never pay attention to what people are like, what they want or what they need. We only care about our wants and drag them to fulfil them. And Alex, who raised to the highest standards set on him, built up empty and uncovered.

Then when he forgot his true self and only felt the emptiness in his soul he met a teenager who gave light to his soul. The first girl taught him about love and filled his heart with colours of happiness. They are two people who have many wounds, but they try to heal the wounds together.

CHAPTER ONE

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to live in a rich and respected family? Where you have to uphold the crown, that was attached to you from birth. Living by the standards that others have set and trying hard to meet the standards people have set against you. Demanded to be perfect and you will be left when you can't live up to other people's expectations.

***

The sun shines brightly, the wind blows and makes the leaves sway, even the chirping of birds becomes music to accompany the wind blowing. You can see a young boy sitting on a school park bench staring at a piece of paper which is a report on the results of a semester exam.

The boy looked not that happy even though he got an A even he sighed as if and his eyes were sad as if he was going to face big trouble. He looked so disappointed that his hands clenched into fists and crumpled the test results a little.

"Alex!" called a teenage boy as he walked over to Alex who was sitting on a park bench

Alex didn't say anything and only glanced at his friend Drake who came over to him. Drake looked so happy when he approached his best friend, but Alex didn't look so excited instead he looked like a student who got bad grades.

"What are you doing sitting here alone?" Drake asked, placing his hand on Alex's shoulder and sitting down beside him.

"Nothing …" Alex replied briefly then he looked back at the exam results with a sad look.

Drake also took a look at his friend's test paper and in contrast to Alex who looked sad, Drake showed the opposite reaction. Drake looked completely amazed with his eyes wide open as if his eyeballs were ready to pop out.

"Wow, you are great! How did you get this good score? The fruit does fall not far from the tree huh! " Said Drake with a big smile.

Alex just smiled with a corner of his lips in response to the words of his friend. Drake may not have noticed it because he was too excited, but Alex looked uncomfortable when Drake mentioned the proverb. Alex doesn't like that proverb because to him it's like a curse that's been tied to him since he was born.

Alex feels very tired of people who praise him by associating himself with his family. How could he not, Alex was always associated with his surname Maxwell as if he meant nothing without his last name. His father was a Supreme Court judge who was very famous for his assertiveness in giving decisions at court as well as with his intelligence so that everyone in his city had great respect for his father. And his mother is a professor of health who managed to find a breakthrough drug that is very effective and managed to establish the third-largest pharmaceutical company in the country.

As the first son of the great Maxwell family, he had to carry a very heavy burden. He had to pay attention to his surroundings before acting, thinking before speaking that even he had to put the honour of his family before himself. Often Alex also has to do something very contrary to him. He always has to wear a mask so that sometimes he forgets his face.

And today Alex starts to rethink what he wants. Even when everyone was praising him he didn't feel happy at all. He couldn't feel anything, he could only feel the emptiness in his heart because Alex knew his value was not something impressive but an obligation that he should have done.

Alex knows that everyone looks at him with amazement and even jealous because he was born in a very extraordinary family. But Alex doesn't feel proud or happy at all because he knows better what it is like to live in such a wonderful family.

With the name Maxwell attached to his name, he must continue to be careful in everything. He must not show his weaknesses and can only show his perfect side. He has to be someone everyone wants not to be who he wants to be.

At first, Alex felt that it was the thing he had to do. He tried hard to get recognition from his parents but no matter how hard he tried he would never get the recognition he wanted not even a single compliment he never got from his parents. And today Alex is getting tired, he goes back to thinking about what he wants. He wants to be himself but doesn't know what his real face looks like because he starts to forget his real face.

"Alex, what have you been thinking about since earlier?" Drake asked, bringing Alex back to his senses from his reverie.

"Ah, nothing. Just thinking about something that is not so important … "Alex replied, giving his trademark thin smile.

"Larie invited us to his house party. You will also come right? " said Drake, staring at Alex with sparkling eyes as if begging Alex to attend Larie's house party.

"Hm, alright. I'll come but just a moment. " Alex replied, feeling a little forced.

"Alright, then I'll pick you up," Drake said with a big smile

***

Time flies and now Alex is walking into his house with a heavy heart. With every step, he tried to catch his breath. He kept on walking even though his feet felt very heavy to move. As he stood in front of the door, he paused to take a breath as his hands grabbed the doorknob.

The worry that continues to haunt him makes Alex a little hesitant to open the door in front of him. But Alex knew he couldn't keep running away from what he had to endure. He also opened the door to his house. The whole room is empty and no one welcomes him.

At first, Alex thought his mom and dad would be home because that's what they always do every time Alex gets his test results. Alex also sighed and walked to his room, and then he threw his bag into the corner of his room. He also dropped his body onto the soft mattress while staring at the ceiling of his room which was painted plain white.

Many things crossed his mind, about himself, his life and even about his dreams. He started to think back to how he had lived his life all this time. Since childhood, he tried hard to fulfil the expectations of his parents. Bearing the burdens and responsibilities of being the eldest.

Son in the Maxwell family, he strives to be a son figure who perfectly meets family standards and sets an example for his two younger sisters.

But is that really what he wants? Although he has tried hard to become the perfect son, he has never received praise from his parents once. Not even once did he feel happy with all the results he got.

"I live my life or the life of my parents …" murmured Alex while staring closely at the ceiling of his room.