MOTIF: a dominant color.

In choosing a color motif for a wedding, keep in mind the colors that mean something in your relationship, and what you want to attract in your future.

"We'd like the colors moss green and brown," Estelle, the happy bride—to—be was saying to me and my best friend Nicole. I watched her dreamy eyes and her happy smile and I couldn't help wondering if I looked as ridiculous as that when I was planning my own wedding.

Nicole smiled back at her enthusiastically. "That's a good combination. So…"

"Jungle—like," I suggested, cutting Nicole off mid—sentence.

Estelle stared at me for a moment and her dreamy smile threatened to fade from her beautiful face. "Excuse me?"

Nicole glared at me with a hidden message that said: Please, just shut the hell up if you can't say something nice!

"What she meant was… earthy," Nicole said smiling back at Estelle and from the somewhat constipated look on her face, I could tell that she was trying her best to pass on some of her enthusiasm back into the bride—to—be.

"No. I meant jungle—like. If I meant earthy, that's what I would have said," I said bluntly, which gained me another glare from Nicole. This time her hidden message was: You're so dead! I raised a brow at her and flashed her a crooked smile that was meant to say: I already know that!

"Excuse me? Do you… have a problem with me?" Estelle asked reluctantly.

I sighed. "No. I'm sorry, sweetie. I don't have a problem with you. I have a problem with green. Moss green to be exact. And since you're in Malibu and are planning for a beach wedding, maybe you should take a look at gold, yellow or orange and red, with maybe a bit of indigo?"

I thought Estelle would tell me to get lost right then and there. It didn't really matter. I didn't care anymore. Weddings used to be my thing. However, because of the recent events in my crappy life, it now gave me pain to see a happy, blushing bride—to—be. It's easier for me to imagine that maybe on the night of their fiancé's bachelor party, he might actually be humping the stripper inside the big cake!

"I'm… sorry, Estelle. I know you like green…" Nicole started apologizing on my behalf. She didn't even bother to glare at me anymore. She knew that I couldn't care less and we'd only look unprofessional if we spent half the time glaring at each other.

"My fiancé likes green. I… in fact, like… orange."

"Unfortunately, I don't see green and orange going together with your theme. I hope you are paying for the wedding," I said under my breath.

"Actually, I am," Estelle said raising her chin proudly.

I smiled at her. "Good for you! Then you should plan it the way you want it. That way you get to keep your wedding ideas in case your fiancé decides to marry someone else at the last minute!"

"Might I have a word in private, Astrid?" Nicole asked me with a grave look on her face that she was not even disguising in front of Estelle anymore.

"Sure," I said, smiling sarcastically. Then I turned to Estelle. "Please do consider choosing between orange and green. If I were you, I'd make it worth my money. Think of things that are green…" I said trailing thoughtfully. "Hmmm… like vomit."

"Now, Astrid!" Nicole stood up, pulling me by the arm.

When we were outside the office, Nicole gave me a good slap on the face. It actually stung.

"Are you awake now?" she asked me angrily.

"What's your problem, Nic?" I asked, rubbing my cheek with my palm.

"Pull yourself together, Astrid! Or you're not only going to lose your dream wedding, you just might lose your job as well!" she said to me. "Now, stay here and I will talk to Estelle… alone!"

Nicole started to go back to the conference room.

"Nic!" I called and she turned back to me with a raised brow. "If she picks orange, will I at least get a credit for talking her into it?"

She glared at me one last time, then she turned on her heel towards the conference room, hoping to repair whatever damage I might have caused.

I went to the pantry to get myself a cup of coffee. Nicole's slap wasn't powerful enough to wake me up. But I knew she had a point. If I continued talking to Estelle the way I did, I would have another complaint lodged against my name.

Last week, a client withdrew their account with us because the tulip—loving bride couldn't forget the story I told her about a psycho killer, murdering brides on their wedding nights and laying them on a bed of tulips afterwards. I made up the story of course, but I didn't know she had such a wild imagination! So the groom refused to have us do their wedding, claiming we had traumatized his blushing bride—to—be. And now I'm pretty sure that if Estelle still chooses green, everything about her wedding will remind her of vomit.

And speaking of vomit, it makes me want to do so when I look around the office and see reels of lace and bows of different colors. A single bow, a single lace, makes me want to puke!

I picked up a bow that strayed on my table. There was a phrase inscribed on it: Yours Forever.

I snorted and threw the string in my garbage bin. Forever is such a big promise. I don't believe that any man can keep a promise as big as that. That's why divorce happens left and right. Any girl would be a fool to believe in Forever. I, for one, will be damned if I ever believe in that word again!

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice that Nicole was already standing in front of me with a giant scowl on her face. I stared up at her for a while and then I sighed.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry, I messed up," I said, throwing my hands in the air.

"No, you did not mess up, Ash! You deliberately sabotaged that meeting!"

"I did not!"

"You did too!" she said angrily. Then she sighed and sat in the chair in front of me. "What is happening to you, Ash?"

"Nothing," I replied. That was a lie. I know exactly what was wrong with me.

"You used to believe in this. This company is twice as big as it was when it started because of you. You've worked on this for five solid years and you were the best employee this company has ever seen. And now… you're throwing it all away. And in the process, you're also jeopardizing my future along with yours."

"No, I'm not!" I said defensively.

"Yes, you are! And not only are you jeopardizing our futures, you're also jeopardizing the futures of the engaged couples who will step into this office!" Nicole let out a frustrated sigh. She stared at me, shaking her head.

I could go on and on in this imminent circle of denial forever. I could argue with her all I want, but I knew that she was right. I was being a bitch. And I was being difficult. And I couldn't stand to see another wedding in my life again. At least not yet.

"What do you want me to do?" I asked her. "Do you want me to file my resignation?"

Nicole rolled her eyes. "No, silly! But I think you should take some time off! I think that you should refrain from talking to engaged couples… until you get back on your feet." She tried to smile encouragingly.

I sighed. "I guess you're right. The sight of this very place I used to love makes me want to puke already! And I don't think I can stand to see another wedding again. Please! The thought of it not ending in happily ever after is enough to make me want to hang myself!"

"Good! Because that is exactly what our clients want to do after they meet up with you!" a familiar voice said behind me.

I didn't have to look to know who it was. Fiona Lewinsky stood in front of me with a glare on her heart—shaped face. She claimed she was meant to do weddings because the shape of her face alone spells love. I had to roll my eyes the first time I heard her say that. And it still makes me want to roll my eyes now.

"Fiona..." I sighed. "I think I need a little holiday," I said to her.

"Take one permanently. You're fired!" she said to me without blinking.

Nicole stood up in shock. "Fiona! You can't do that! You owe half of your success to her! She made you rich, for crying out loud! She's going through a rough patch. Anyone in her situation would be upset! I think you're being too harsh."

Fiona raised a brow at her. "She deserves it! I lost two clients in one week because of her."

"She gave you almost a thousand of them since she came to work for you!" Nicole argued. "We wouldn't be where we are had it not been for her."

"The reason why she was that good is because I taught her well. I've given her one week to mope and cry over her broken engagement. It's been three weeks already! She's getting worse. I can't jeopardize my business because her fiancé left her at the altar!"

"That's not true!" I spoke for the first time since she fired me.

"Yes! That's not true!" Nicole agreed. "You didn't teach her anything. She was fresh, dynamic and creative. And she was the one who came up with the most ambitious concepts we ever used on the weddings we did for years. Right, Ash?" She looked at me as if she was begging me to defend myself.

I took a deep breath. "What I meant was… it's not true that my fiancé left me at the altar," I said in a serious voice and Nicole stared back at me, unable to wipe the shocked expression off her face.

"That's great dear. At least it didn't get too embarrassing," Fiona said without even a hint of emotion. "Now, before every other bride—to—be ends up having your unfortunate fate, I suggest you go. You're jeopardizing my business. I thank you for your services, but I already lost two clients because of you, I cannot afford to lose any more."

I didn't know if I felt heartbroken because of what she said. Sure, it was sad to see your boss not seem to care about you, especially since she owes half of her company's growth to you, but at the same time it was also a relief to know that I need not make another bride's dream come true. It's been difficult for me since I, myself, was a bride—to—be, but the engagement did not last long enough for me to make it to the altar.

"Fine," I murmured. Then I took my cell phone and my bag. "I do expect to receive my full benefits, Fiona."

She raised a brow. "Compared to the amount of business I would lose because of you? I'll be happy to give you your severance pay on a silver platter!"

I rolled my eyes at her one last time and then I marched out of the room. Nicole was on my tracks the minute I got to the elevator.

"Get back in there Nic, if you don't want to share my fate," I warned her.

"You are out of your mind, Astrid! You should fight this! She owes you that much!" she insisted.

I shook my head. "Did you really think I didn't want this?" I asked her. She opened her mouth to say something but no sound came out. "Goodbye, Nic. I'll see you later."

"I'll talk to you later," she said as the elevator door closed behind me.

I exited the building and hailed a cab. There, in the backseat, with only the cab driver as company, I lost it. I cried my heart out.