Samantha

“After 5 years of dating, rock star Luke Thomas and model girlfriend Samantha Caldwell broke up. Our source tells us that the reason behind their break up is due to the busy schedules they both have. While our rock star bad boy is touring the world, our favorite model is busy strutting her gorgeous face inside the catwalk. Both stars haven’t made a statement regarding this big news. What a shame losing another power couple in both music and modeling industry!!”

My agent and best friend, Megan, shove the news in my face while I am busy packing my stuff for my mini vacation this week. Well done, Page Six! You actually heard the news within forty eight hours.

“Sam, talk to me! I know it’s hard and I know it will be harder this time because the media finally heard about it. I worry about you. You never speak about it and acting like it isn’t a big deal.” I hear the worry in her tone and maybe some grief for the loss I am feeling.

“That’s because there’s nothing to talk about, Megs. It’s over. It’s done. We’re both free. He wants freedom and I’m giving it to him. Besides, this year might be a busy one for me with all the appearances you made for me.” Megan knows I’m lying and I’m wishing she will not push it. I don’t have the courage to talk about it now or maybe in a long time.

Luke and I have been dating for a long period. At first, I never thought we’d end up for that long. He is the typical rock star-bad boy any one would think and the most gorgeous man I know. I never imagined he will fall for a girl like me. I know I’m pretty but that man is like myth gods we read in Greek Mythology classes and compared to him, I’m just the good ol’ plain Jane.

Five years of dating and I believe that he’s the one for me, like in those fairy tale books, I thought I have my happy ever after. But one day, reality showed me that it isn’t, that all those sweet years will be over and I will be left feeling shattered and irreparable. I feel like I am living in a shell of my old self, knowing deep down I will never be the same. Everything reminds me of him and the ache and grief I am feeling is tearing me down slowly.

“Sam, I won’t push it for now. I’ll give you time and I will be supporting this solo flight vacation of yours. But you should know that on the fifth day, I will be there knocking some sense to you to speak to me and we’ll get wasted, alright honey?” Megan is one crazy best friend any one could ask for.

“Alright, we’ll get wasted but not much, you know my work and all. Please remind me why I choose to work on this again?” I gave her my most genuine smile for the day and I see the little wariness that comes off her face.

“You choose this because this is your calling and because it will be a waste not to show off that face and body. I’ll see you soon, love, and please check in with me as soon as you get settled in there. I love you.” She said to me.

“Yes, Mom, as soon as I land I will call your sweet but gorgeous ass. I love you too, Megs, I don’t know what I will do without you.” I told her and leave my apartment, hoping that I can get some peace in where I am going.

***

Luke

“Man, it’s all over the news. The media is hunting you both down. Do you know if Sam is safe?” Logan, my band mate and one of my best friends, asked me. My break up with Sam reached the land of the vultures the second it happened. They fucking don’t think they can give us a little more time to breath.

“No idea about her right now. I know when I start calling her she wouldn’t answer me. Shit, man! This is so fucked up!” I let my frustrations be shown to Logan. This sucks and I don’t know what to do about it. I love Sam more than any one even myself, but thinking I am in a relationship is like walking on fire, like I have to watched every move thinking I would hurt her and it’s choking me up. I wanted to feel the life of someone who doesn’t care, for once.

“Look, bro, it’s over and done with. You have to deal with it. It’s what you like, right? Although I don’t like the idea and I know you love Sam enough but I’m here to support you. That’s what brothers are like. But you have to face it and please try not to ruin everything. I believe you only want a breather, but don’t take it long bro. You might lose her forever.” Logan is knocking some sense to me. I know this break up is not forever; I just want to feel free and by feeling that I’m letting the one person who understands me the most go.

“Thanks, man. Please check Sam for me. I want to know she’s safe.” I asked him.

“You don’t have to ask. You know I will do it without you asking me. Sam’s like a sister to me.” He and Sam made a bond that I know will never be erased, even if I am without her life.

In the last forty eight hours, I’m thinking of asking for Sam’s forgiveness, on begging her on my knees asking her to take me back, but the idea of being exclusive again is killing me. I woke up one day realizing I don’t want to be tied to someone, that I wanted to just be me and see what it’s like. I know that it is a fucked up reason and I am being a douche about it, but sometimes I feel like I can’t be with her without finding the real me.

Sam is perfect. Educated, came from a good and wealthy family, beautiful, confident and the most understanding person I know and sometimes I feel being with her is downing me more, because I am not worthy of her. I am the opposite of her and that feeling consumes me and chokes me. Maybe I made the right decision. I will try to fix myself before I came crawling my crazy ass back to her.

But right now, I have to enjoy this moment we are leaving for the tour later this afternoon and be in a different continent.