Prologue
Sofia's POV.
"I don't think you ready for this Sofia. You haven't been the same after everything." Anna said as she ran her hand through my hair. I was dressed up for this funeral. I wore black even though I wasn't feeling well. I wanted to go to where Benjamin is now. I want to be with him.
"You think you can do it?" Charlotte asked lowering her eyes.
"I can do it." I mumbled looking down.
"Have you decided what you will do after this?" I knew what Charlotte was asking me. I still haven't made a decision but after everything. I don't even know if I can live anymore.
"I will have to move on for my sons and daughter." My heart was broken. I never wanted any of this. I never wanted my be. I shut my thoughts because thinking about everything just makes me dead. Life is so surprising.
"I can walk to the grave with you." Damien offered giving me a weak smile. "You don't have to do this alone. We all here for you." I knew everyone was hurting too but they all just want to comfort me. They all grew up together and if I feel like dying right now then I'm sure they are already dead inside.
"It's fine, the funereal already started. I'll just visit the gave now and don't forget I survived prison." I picked a rose and walked away. I don't get why everyone is treating me like a small baby. Benjamin already send me to jail once but today standing here - I wish I could go back to that time. There's no way we can bring back a dead person especially when you are the reason they dead. I wish none of this ever happened.
I walked to the grave and my heart started beating faster. I started having flashbacks of all the memories of us together. He was the reason for my happiness. His sweet touch, his arrogance, his rudeness and his love for me, made me feel alive. How can I live without him?
The fresh breezed played with my hair as I put the rose down. A tear of shame, remorse and everything else I feel dropped from my eye. Life goes on no matter what happens, I remember what he told me.
"You know You the reason for everything." I took a deep breath as tears started streaming down my face. "You the reason everything happened. If it wasn't for you, I would've never been-." I paused my heart crying. How did it get to this. First jail and now this. "I love you so much Benjamin. You the reason I came here today. I miss you so much. And I can't live without you. I have told everyone I can, but the truth is I can't do it without you. I wish none of those things ever happened. After you send me to jail, I made sure I hate you. I hated you for ruining me but somehow I just could never hate you. Elijah, Emily and Oliver will never be the same, I don't know if they can live without a father. I already miss you so much Benjamin. I don't know how I will live without you, but now I have to do it for my children. Please forgive me for everything I did to you."
Almost 2 months later!
Sofia's POV.
"Boh." Nicholas came out of nowhere. I swear he is crazier than anyone I ever met before. I literally hated him because he was arrogant but he has a good side too. He just reminds me so much about Benjamin who hasn't visited us once since we moved to Paris. I know Benjamin is heartbroken but so I'm I. We were never good for one another so it's not like it's going to be that difficult to move from each other. I still love Benjamin, I always have and always will but life should go on and if he can move on so can I.
The day I left Benjamin, I never signed the divorce papers because I knew once I signed those papers, we would be done. But after the videos and magazines I have seen with him and another women, I knew he had move on. So I signed them and now I'm single not that anyone cares.
"Nick when will you grow up? This isn't your house so stop breaking in." I shouted annoyed but he rolled his eyes and walked away. "I'm talking to you."
"I came to fetch Elijah for school and to take you to work so calm down beautiful, I'm not here to kidnap you." He replied jumping on the couch.
"Eli." I shouted and my son came running from upstairs with his school bag. "Be good at school and please don't hit people just because they don't like you." I begged him as I went on my knees and he nodded smiling. "Now give me a kiss." Elijah gave me a kiss and I gave him one too.
"Mommy, when is daddy coming?" This is the question I created so many lies for, just because of Benjamin. He never answers my calls so I wouldn't even know if he still wants his children or not.
"Elijah, if we don't go to school now I won't buy you an ice-cream." Nicholas said picking him up. He always somehow helps me even though he is a jerk.
"Bye mommy." Elijah waved as they both left the house.
I quickly went upstairs and started to get ready for work because Nicholas will definitely give me a warning if I'm late for work.
"Emily, can I leave you." I asked my six month old daughter who was sleeping. "Your uncle Nick, wouldn't mind if I took you to work right?" I talked to myself and actually that was a great idea. I can't trust anyone to look after my daughter when she's just a few months old. I wish Anna was here because I know she wouldn't mind.