I was laid on my king size bed which was in the center of the room crying my heart out when I took a view on my room for the second time my Brown plaid sofa with heavy oak arms, a bookcase neatly stocked with paperbacks, family pictures on one wall, a china cabinet against another.Beautiful gilded mirror a four—drawer Mosler combination safe, concrete—and—steel, good for material up to top secret ,trestle table, lamps washed the window in a strong incandescent glow

I sat right up on my bed and I started writing on my diary,

"Like the sea and the sky,

We reflect each other, you and I.

Past the moon and the stars,

You promised you loved me that far.

Now all the lies you've told

Have burrowed a hole deep inside my soul.

All those memories we share,

All that pain I cannot bear.

You broke my heart

Finding pleasure in tearing me apart.

Because of you, my happiness never lasts.

Because of you, I can only find darkness in my past.

You broke me down,

Left me collapsed in agony upon the ground.

You broke every promise that you ever made,

But still for your sins I must be the one who pays.

You stole my innocence that very day,

Leaving me no other choice"

When I was done I closed the diary and kept it on my four drawer combination safe mosler,I headed straight to the bathroom ,the bathroom was clean. The tub and the towels were dry. The medicine cabinet above the sink had a mirrored door and behind it were over—the—counter analgesics, and toothpaste, and tampons, and dental floss, and spare soap and shampoo and scrubs .i perfume wudu

ablution

and sprayed my prayer Mat and wore my full length hijab and poured my whole heart to Ar—Rahman "Oh Allah your my only dependent and I need you now the most ,I only cry out to you and shout out your name for your my only dependent ya Allah continue to lift Me above all Challenges of life & never impose on Me that which I have no Strength to bear. Ya Allah grant me your mercy and blessings forgive my Deceased & Grant me a Successful Ending.

The last thing I never want to do is make mistake about choosing the right partner but I don't know if luck is on my side now.my mother has made my life a living hell and I'm trying my best not to let her words deceive me ,but her words keeps haunting me and I hate her for that wllhi ,i was only a child ,I was just 2years old ,how on earth I'm I going to live the rest of my life without her words haunting me.my father who I hardly talk to and get along with just because of my mother's words and my step mom who loved me so much and raised me with so much love and care but at the end I only gave her pain nothing but pain.my siblings are afraid of me ,but yes I'm jealous because they all make a beautiful team ,but I'm always locked up in my room and I hardly say a word to anyone ,I've experienced a lot of things at a very young age ,I Amaani Amin Nasir Galadanci has experienced nothing but pain and regret throughout my life and the only place I feel safe at is my diary,yeah my diary.

**********

I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm ,it's four in the morning ,I quickly rushed to the bathroom to perform ablution and prayed rakaatanil fajr then i prayed subh salad , I read as much pages as I can from the holy Quran,after reciting the last page of suratul ahqaf I closed my Quran fold my prayer mat and hijab then I retired to bed after setting an alarm for 8am. "Amaani Amaani...I could hear ya Zulaiha's annoying voice shouting my name from the corridor waking me up from my peaceful slumber....I immediately got up from the bed and rushed to the bathroom I had a hot and quick shower,I got out and quickly wore my black plain abaya and tie my hair in a low bun then I tie my hijab and sprayed myself with my Issey Miyake's L'Eau d'Issey perfume and head straight to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone ,I quickly made veggie egg muffins ,Bacon egg and cheese sandwich ,cinnamon roll ,tea and coffee ...I went to the dinning table and arranged everything.I went back to the kitchen and made myself an oatmeal and ran back to my room.

I picked up my phone and surfed through Instagram and Snapchat replying all the new messages,when I saw Halima Muhammad Altata's message popped on my screen ,so I decided to call her and have a little chat with her.

"I dialed Halima's number and she answered .

"Babessss I missed you"came her sweet melodious voice.

"I missed you too ajebo" I said in a teasing tone.

"You know I don't like that name ko ?she said in a serious tone.

"...And that's why I love calling you with the name" I laughed wholeheartedly.

"Wareva "so when are we resuming school ?

"Maybe next week "I said

"Okay Allah ya nuna mana"Ameen.

"Ameen ...So spill it out ?i said

"He called me"she said almost shouting into my ear drum

"You gullible fool ,love freak, abeg you wan burts my eardrum" I said

"You don't know how it feels like to be in love babes"

"Wareva I'm not interested you know"

"Keep staying single for the rest of your life you

Big fool ,keep rejecting proposals mumuuuu"she said in an annoying tone

"Oooh here we go again with the scolding part no 2 ,arrgggh !!!

"You know I have been through a lot and right now I'm not ready for this bedsides I'm getting married when I'm done with my service inshallah I still have a lot of time and we are just in our third year fa we have two more years to go"I said trying to sound casual .

"When the husband come pls tell him to go sai kin gama service ko ?May God deliver you .but let me remind you ya zuzu got married when she was in her third year don't forget ,you know things ain't going well with you ,mama and Abbah but here you are dreaming about sai kin gama service ko?you know better ai I don't have to say the rest.I'm not a fool I knew you cried yesterday from your voice ,you can't act normal and think I don't know what's happening but we will talk about it when next we meet,don't cry kinji you will only make your migraine headache worst,take care of yourself ,I have to go now Ma is calling me bye.

"Okay bye" I said in a shaky voice.

"Ya Allah ya rabbil izah make this pain disappear ya Allah ,you are my only dependent with that I broke down crying my heart out until I slept off.

" I woke up to the adhaan being called I performed ablution and started praying letting my heart pour to my lord ,I cried so hard in my sujood ,I found peace ,I found myself ,the pain has ease.

I went straight to the kitchen and started preparing lunch ,I prepared my dad's favorite food Tuwo miyan kuka .i quickly finished and made my way to the dinning to keep everything set and ready .

"Assalamualaikum"they said in unison

"Waalaikumusalam"I answered with a big smile plastered on my face.

"Adda Amaani "Ina wuni"came my siblings voice

"Welcome back girls"I said while hugging them.

"How was school?"

Huh!stressful" came Yasmin voice

"School was lit"Taslim Said and rolled her eyes.

"Uhumm"I raised a brow teasingly.

"And they all laughed at me"

"C'mon go freshen up and come eat lunch"I said and went back to my room to pray asr .

I performed ablution prayed and went to Abba's side to greet him hearing my siblings shouting and jumping I knew he is back.

I bumped into Muhammad and he greeted me then headed straight to his room.

"Assalamualaikum"came my small baby voice

"Waalaikumusalam"Abbah answered and looked up at me with a small smile plastered on his lips.

"Abbah Ina wuni?ya hanya ?it came all in one breath .

"Alhamdulillah"he answered

"Allah huta gajiya" I said and stood up to go to my room without waiting for him to reply me.

I saw mama and we exchanged pleasantries then I headed straight to ya Zuzu's room .

"How far"I asked

"###0###CHAPTER 2— 2

I dey"she answered

"Abbah is back fa"I told her in a calm manner.