I'm not the pretty one.

I'm not the smart one either although my grades beg to differ. I am the dead one. I've been called that for so long - all my life if we're being exact - that to me they were no longer just two words but the embodiment of everything I was: Dead. Lifeless.

If I really did have to die, and believe me, I don't want to, but if I had to choose an exact location, I'd want to die right here in the ladies' lounge at my sister's boyfriends house. It's everything. From the curtains to the lighting to the decor. It all makes me feel so out of place. Worst of all is my reflection.

I'm no psychologist, but three years of being on the receiving end of human nature's worst characteristics, lets me know that this place was built to mock. The way the full length mirror slants, the blue marble counter that glistens, and the golden light from the chandeliers placed here and there all creates an optical illusion, turning my plain self into something more beautiful than I could ever be.

This is my eighth time visiting one of my sister's boyfriends this year. One would think that after eight times she'd learn who to trust or get tired. Maybe she's trying to make it an all round double digit. Maybe heartbreak number ten is what she's aiming for. Go figure.

They never change honestly, all her boyfriends I mean. Incompetent bastards who treat her like she is nothing better than toilet paper. Good for cleaning your mess but definitely not worth keeping.

Only difference was this time, the boyfriend turned out to be filthy rich. He was named Rakov Columbus but he started calling himself Ray Cole sometime in the ninth grade. Apparently being named Columbus was traumatizing. Ray considers himself royalty so he uses everything he has to ensure his status in life is evident to all. Like he tries so hard to remind we commoners that we would never be up to his level. And I hate to say this, but it's working.

Despite my depreciating mental health, I fell in love with the house decor. It was honestly exquisite to me. My sister, named Hela by the way, thought so too but I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she was wherever we went in the house. Not that I would blame her, I'd have to take of my shoes and sanitize my feet before walking in this house comfortably.

I take a moment to call my breath in the ladies' lounge. I'm alone for the first time on Hela's introduction day and I like it. It's been a long day and I've been holding the tension for both of us in the vertebrae of my neck. When I date, I pray it's no one opulent because my body cannot stand another Carter introduction extravaganza. The weeks spent getting ready for this day nearly gave me an ulcer. But despite all this, I'm happy for my elder sister. I sighed, like anyone would even date me.

In the ladies lounge, I'm taking one of my many lipstick time outs. Ever since getting here and discovering Ray was acquainted with most of the elite at my school, my timeouts have been stretching longer and longer. I don't think I can stand another person MISTAKENLY pouring wine on my shoes. I wonder if Ray felt like he would get on my good side if he invited the demons for school to the intro party. Way to go Ray.

"There you are!" My sister bursts into the lounge like a squashed tangerine, all chiffon and feathers, as though someone had stuffed her outfit into the blender and hit CRUSH. "Aren't the Columbus' amazing?" Hela turns away from the mirror and then looks over her shoulder to check the back of her dress. Satisfied, she says, "Even the mirrors are amazing. I'm beautiful, no one can tell me otherwise. How's your table?"

"The worst."

"Oh, come on. You're with the kids from school. You're supposed to" —and I hate when she does this, but she does it anyway, makes two fists and pumps them through the air like an anime character — "use this as an opportunity. Make friends with them!"

"Hela, please."

"That indifferent attitude of yours is what's holding you back." Hela looks at me and applies her lipstick without looking in the mirror. "You should have brought a friend if you didn't want everyone... Oh wait, you have none."

"For good reasons. My school mates INFURIATE me." I lean against the wall and cross my arms, because I honestly can't sit down. Unless I want my Spanx to crush my spleen.

"Maybe you just need to give them a chance."

"Maybe they just need to leave me alone."

"Oh, you. You use that line every chance you get. So what if all your school mates are dung mannered and annoying and have nothing better to do than pick on you? That doesn't mean everyone in the world is like that. Do me a favor. Go out! Make friends! Go places and make memories! You'll be feeling better before you even know it."

Hela looks at me and whatever expression she sees on my face melts her heart. She's on my side and I'm always aware of that.

" You have so much to offer Dami. I dont want you to lose out. You're a winner! You've got so much life in you! " She gives me a big hug and puts her hands on my face. "You're a total original. Don't let what anyone says get to you. Your brown eyes sparkle even in the dark. Your lips, thank God, take after dad's side of the family. So plump and red. Plus, you've got all the tall in the family."

"Thanks, Hela." In the general population, five feet ten isn't too tall, but in my family I'm a giant redwood.

"And you know what, even if you end up all alone with just cats and mittens to keep you company, I'll always be by your side."

This might be what I loved the most about her. Hela believes that being friendless is a handicap, like losing an arm, but she never makes me feel like I have to agree with her.

" I'm happy enough"

"You could be happier."

"I suppose."

"See! But enough of this. Let's go back to t the party."

She locks arms with me and just as we're about to step out, the door bursts open.

Rakov is standing in the doorway, his hands crossed over his chest. Not too far behind him, I see another girl dressed in a red tube dress. She has heavy makeup on and is glaring at Hela like she's stale yogurt.

"I was looking all over for you. Why'd you disappear for so long?"

If Hela notices the girl behind Rakov, she says nothing about it and instead smiles up at him. "Just having a little chat with my sister."

"Hello, Rakov." I make sure I emphasize the Rakov because I love the way his jaw stiffens each time I do.

"Hello, Dami. It's been quite a while. How are your studies?" He says, extending his hand for a handshake.

"Quite interesting." I take his hand in mine and slightly turn it. On the bridge of his thumb, just below his finger nail, is lipstick the same bright red shade as the girl behind him is wearing. I smile to mask the disgust on my face.

"That said, I don't think it's ethical to stay in the restroom for so long. It's worrisome."

"I don't think it's ethical for a man to burst into the ladies restroom either. It's disturbing."

"Dami, it is time for you to go home. You have school tomorrow." Hela pulls on my sleeve beside me and her eyes are begging me to leave. So I did just that. I left. The girl with the heavy makeup was already gone by the time I stepped out. I thought of confronting her but Hela would hate that so instead I headed straight for the door.

Outside the stars are shining brightly, as though they are laughing at we stupid humans.

What Hela said was right. Not all humans are the same. Some won't break you.

Like Rakov would soon do to Hela.

Like he did to me.

I pull my jacket over myself and hail a taxi. It's a long day tomorrow and I'm going to need all the strength I can get.