I am so scared of varsity.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to fit in and make my own friends because usually I just tag along with Kali’s friends which is not embarrassing at all. They always talk about dating and sex and some more dating and that’s not what I wanna talk about. I want people with similar interests to mine, I want to talk about movies music, books, Kpop idols, bls and what herbs I can mix together to get something that will fix my headaches and whatever else I can think about that is not me getting penetrated by some guy in the back of his parents car. I don’t care if that what they want it’s just not me.

My siblings are so excited though. This is a chance for them to leave the pack for a while and run wild and be free and to do all kinds of debauchery things.

I on the other hand suck! So hard that I’m willing to ask for help, and I never ask for help. This is my chance to actually come out of my fucken shell as my sister so kindly puts it. And if my wolf could talk she’d be agreeing. Which is why I have started writing a list of the things I want done before the end of my first year at Durban University, which won’t be a problem if I keep things on a down low, you know under the radar.

“What are hiding under the radar? Are you a spy?. Oh my god! Are you seeing someone finally” my sister Kali squeals like the girl she is.

Guess I said my last thoughts out loud. I do that a lot when I’m stressed.

“No, unfortunately for you I’m not. And please get your grabby hands off my clothes” I yank my tank top from her. She rolls her eyes at me but continues to rummage through the pile of clothes on my bed. “Have you packed? have you talked to Kaze? is he all done packing?”

“Uhg you’re such a mom, we still have time so stop asking me so many questions” she picks up another pink tee, sniffs it then places it under her arm.

“I’m not a mom, get out! We have about an hour before we have to leave” I throw a random cloth I can get which happens to be a pair of jeans which she easily catches because of course.

“You bitch! I could have been hurt then I’d have to undergo a surgery then I’d miss my first day at school then I’d be a loser and a lone wolf and when I finally make it there because everyone would have already made friends by then” she frails her arms like the drama queen she is.

“Just go pack you maniac” I say ignoring her dramatic antics. Lone wolf my ass.

We should have done everything yesterday but Kaze wanted us to say a proper goodbye to our friends therefore he invited everyone he considered a friend in the pack which turned out to be almost everyone because he said if he invited one person and left the other then other people will feel left out. He is a people pleaser like that.

And that’s how we ended up with a house full of people which we ended up having to entertain until the early hours on the night. I hope dad doesn’t find out this time.

I sigh, push out my bags then walk over to his room. I knock but he doesn’t answer which might be because he is hung over as fuck. He is still not used to alcohol because we only turned 18 two months ago and dad made sure we didn’t have a drop of alcohol before that not that my siblings didn’t try.

I push open the door to Kaze’s room and met with a ranched smell that makes my eyes water. You’d think because his sense of smell is strong since he is a wolf then he’d clean more. No luck there.

“For fucks sake do you ever clean this room, it smells like ass in here” I say covering my nose with my hand. He shifts from his position in the bed turning to see that its me then going back to sleep.

“I could have been naked you know” his voice comes out muffled.

“Like I care. Why are you not ready yet, we have to leave in less than an hour you know”

“Shit I totally forgot” he sits up then runs his hand through his tangled hair which seems painful. “do it for me I’ll owe you one” he gives me puppy dog eyes but he seems to have forgotten that his pleading eyes don’t have the desired effect on me. And the fact that they look red and drowsy doesn’t help his case.

“You already owe me more than one dude, I’m not packing for you. Get up, take a shower we have to leave I don’t like being late”

“If it was up to you we would have left like a million years ago” he mumbles.

Did I mention that he is also very much dramatic. When he sees that I’m not falling for his shit he sighs finally standing up from the bed “Fine I’ll get ready but please make me something I can eat otherwise you’re waiting for me to do it myself and you know how I’m very meticulous about my food” he winks as he goes to his bathroom which he doesn’t share with anyone. Me and Kali share one but it is better this way. He is a slob and we already clean up after him enough so no thank you.

“Fine but I will call in a favour no questions asked and you will do as I say” I scream so he can hear me through the running water.

“Yeah whatever” he shouts back

Having sibling sucks.Sometimes.

We are triplets and we all look alike even though Kaze is a guy and because of that people always compare us from what we do to what we wear and everything in-between. Kaze is an artistic handsome guy with messy black hair and grey eyes, like our mothers eyes, at least that’s what dad told us since we have never seen her before. Me and Kali have brown eyes, mine are actually more golden that brown and they are one of my best features. We usually just do braids and Kali always does different coloured ones but I usually just do black and when I just changed back from my wolf my hair turns grey than black which I have been told has never happened to anyone before me. That’s how people used to tell who was who because people would mistake me for Kali and start saying shit about me to myself. You’d think they’d train themselves to pick up who’s scent they are smelling but no. The three of us are alphas so it’s natural that other pack members gravitate towards us, or more like towards my siblings. Kali has the type of personality which makes people want to hang out with her, love her or maybe even worship her. And I don’t know why people felt she would appreciate them talking about her sister like that. She never did and it made her lose some friends.

Yeah, it was an experience. I am so glad I’m done with high school right now. I hope varsity will be different, no I know varsity will be different. Living in the shadow of your siblings is not fun and I plan on not doing that shit anymore.

I make my way back to my room to make sure I didn’t leave anything important that ill need which I didn’t because unlike my siblings I started packing hours ago and have not slept a wink since. I went on a morning run in my wolf form so I could say bye to this place even though I’ll be back before the start of the next semester.

I go to the kitchen and make a couple of sandwiches which we can all share and put some cut up fruits in a luchbox then bags of snacks that I specifically bought for us for the drive to school which will be long as fuck. And the fact that I will be stuck with my siblings in a confined space for long hours might actually make me commit murder.

Maybe I can talk to dad about him arranging a car for just me. I let out a small chuckle and shake my head because that would never happen. Dad is all about siblings sticking together which he always support by using his relationship with my uncle as an example. My dad and his brother Maddox are the Shadow pack alpha leaders.They are close and started a construction business together when they got out of high school instead of going to varsity which worked out for them pretty well since now they are so rich we can afford a Bugatti ten times over and some change. Still he refuses to let us spend his money on useless expensive things because apparently we have to work for it blah, blah, blah.

In our pack we are encouraged to explore our skills and go to school. Even Omegas which are usually just made to clean and cook in other packs. My dad and uncle have worked hard to make our pack one of the most successful ones. Some packs still do things like were done in the olden times but we are more advanced. We have buildings, high end security, technology and very spacious training grounds. We are taught to defend ourselves as soon as we can talk and we get our wolf when we turn sixteen. Our father is the reason why we all decided to apply at Durban University together so we could stay close together and not give give our father anxiety. He was so happy when we told him partly because it was close and the other part because DU is a prestigious school that most Alphas send their successors to. No doubt we’ll see the ones next in line in their packs to take charge. We are also encouraged to make connections which I’m so not so excited about. My sister has that front handled thankfully. Something breaks my chain of thought making me look up from my current task of packing my herbs in little containers.

Kali comes storming in having changed from her earlier outfit to new one that is just high-waisted jeans and a cute tiny white cropped top and black platform sandals which make her seem taller than me. “oh my god Cindy, I know he loves you but you have to understand long distance relationships are weird and hard to maintain. There’s gonna be new people and he might want to explore that and considering the fact that he once cheated on you the is a chance he would do it again” Kali says in a pleading voice

She mummers some words I can’t hear even with the keen hearing then sighs “look you’re my friend and I care about you I’m seriously not trying to make you break up with him that’s your call. I’m just. . .” she pulls the phone away from her face looks at it then puts it pack against her ear “okay it fine I’ll call you when we arrive. Sure. I’ll miss you too, we’ll face time as soon as everything is okay. Love you, bye.”

“what was that?”I ask because im nosey like that I like to keep myself entertained by my peers drama filled love lives.

“oh nothing, Cindy is just having a hard time realising that she is better alone than with a cheating asshole of a boyfriend” she sits near me “ohh food how did you know I was starving”

“I didn’t but I knew you were gonna start making food and we’ll end up being later than we are right now.”

“aw you’re the most amazing sister in like a small portion of the world” she teases.

I roll my eyes and continue putting away everything. Some pack members come to send us off since my dad had to in an important meeting today so when we finally get out of the house we are thirty minutes late and I’m sure if I follow the well thought out plan of how to end my siblings lives I could actually get away with it.

I should have been an only child.