This day made me long for a home outside the walls of my house. Where I don’t have to pretend like I don’t exist, that everything is okay and that I love the silver tiara that is currently seated on my head. It’s funny how everyone surrounding and cheering me on did not notice my tears put out the candles before my breath found the courage to do so.

Birthdays for other sixteen-year-olds was a total bliss but not even the lavish party thrown for me could drown my sorrow. I shove a large piece of cake into my mouth, moaning as the sweet velvet hit my taste buds.

     “You sound like a dying whale” my brother’s voice interrupts my inner turmoil making me groan. The last thing I needed was someone witnessing my mini breakdown. I love my brother very much, but this was bad timing.

     “Go away Thomas” I push him away slightly even though I know it’ll have no effect on his huge frame. This only makes him move closer to me before wrapping his arms around me.

      “You know I hate seeing you like this” He said into my hair while being careful not to tip over my tiara.

     “Don’t make this awkward Tom. I’m just a birthday girl trying to eat all this cake” I said and shove a much larger piece of cake into my mouth.

     “Has Drew wished you yet?” he asked. My heart sank already knowing the answer was in the negative. I’m sure my brother didn’t want to upset me, but I couldn’t help the sadness that spread across my chest.

     “I’m sure he hasn’t. That best friend of mine is an idiot” he scoffed, glancing over to where he was sitting on the couch with Jenn. Both were holding hands while trying to open all her presents which was laughable really because they couldn’t get the gift wraps off that way. They looked rather stupid to me.

     “He’s with the better twin. It’s not like I expect him to” I said and shrugged.

     “You’re the better one” he told me with a stern look “You deserve better anyway, that punk certainly does not deserve you”.

     “Thank you, Tom” I said, finally returning his hug “But I need you to leave me alone under this table and go mingle with all the businesspeople mum invited. You know she’ll get mad if you leave her side for just a minute”.

     “I hate that you’re right. This feels more like a business meeting than a birthday” He looked down at the plate in my hands with a frown “Try not to fill up your entire tummy, I have something planned later for just the two of us” he kissed the side of my head making me sigh in contentment.

     “I know” I told him laughing “The big balloons I saw in the gazebo gave it all away”.

     “You just can’t ever be surprised, can you?” he patted my head before finally leaving under the table making me wonder how he stayed that long under the table without having cramps in his legs.

     I stuffed another cake into my mouth and looked to the couch where Drew was kissing Jenn which made me look away when the familiar hurt in my chest made itself known. It would’ve been better if Jenn weren’t my twin sister so I wouldn’t have to watch her with the boy I was in love with.

      Birthdays sucked, or maybe it was just mine. I got from under the table when I ran out of cakes only to bump into someone. Mum. My eyes widened when the last bit of cake I was holding smeared her designer black dress. I waited for the inevitable.

     “You should’ve remained under the table where you belong” she screamed getting the attention of all the guests around. “Try not to let anyone see you, God knows what a sore sight you are” She said, before walking off, her heels making a clinging sound when it kissed the floor.

     I saw Jenn look up at me from the corner of my eyes, but she made no move. It was no surprise this was a disaster for me, like other days before it. I grab the stupid tiara throwing it to the floor on my way out. Funny for me to think a birthday would make my parents pay more attention to me. My fat legs make me walk slowly to the back of our large house near the pool which was a big contrast to the way I imagined storming out of the house in my head.

     “Don’t come any closer!” a voice snarled, making me stop in my tracks. I scowled at Don when he raised his big head.

     “This is my house so I can go wherever I want” I told him, pulling my shoes off my aching feet and sitting at the far end of the pool. Safely away from him.

     “A house nobody wants you in” he said, before puffing the cigarette I only just noticed he was holding between his fingers.

     I hated Don, I hated even more because what he said was true and we both knew it. He was nothing like his older brother. Drew was soft, kind, loving, his eyes shone in the sun like he was some god in his former life whereas Don was…Done. Cold hearted, cared about no one, not even himself.

     “My parents care about me Don, I wish I could say the same about you” I told him fiercely trying to hide how the truth of what he said was hurting me.

     “At least no one threw a birthday for me then not even spare me a glance”. He kept his face away from me. I was about to speak when he splashed his side of the pool making water hit my face and wet my gown. The space between us was obviously not safe enough.

     “What did you do that for?” I hissed at him trying to wiggle water out of my hair which  proved harder than trying to lose all the extra weight I had gained over the years.

     “You’re ugly Ken, don’t try to pretend otherwise. There’s a reason my brother is in there kissing Jenn and not you” he pointed his index finger towards me as hot tears graced my cheeks. I cleaned it up with the back of my hand thinking of all the ways I could kill him. I stood up abruptly, marching to his hunched form and expressionless eyes.

     I was about to push him in the pool when he grabbed me and pushed me into the bush behind him. I was about to scream in terror when his hand clamped over my mouth. He pointed at the far end of the pool where I had been seated when I saw my father walk in with Don’s father as the dragged a bloodied man with them.

     I watched the man beg for his life as my father played with a knife, swishing it in the air as if preparing the man that was knelt on the floor what was to come.

     The three men spoke in hushed voices making it impossible to hear what they were saying. The man on the floor suddenly started shaking his head back and forth. I watched my father with wide eyes as he brought the knife down before slicing through the man’s neck severing his head completely.

     It was an image that would forever remain in my head. The man’s head sputtered blood everywhere and I watched it roll into the pool, turning it red in a matter of seconds. I shrieked unable to contain the horror I just witnessed making both men turn in our direction.

     Don groaned rom where he was beside me when he realized that I had just blown our cover. He turned me abruptly towards him and grabbed my face and our fathers walked closer to our hiding place. Before I could realize what, he was doing he kissed me.

     His soft lips caressed mine sending a peculiar tinge down my entire body. He tilted my head so he could have better access. He bit my lip just as the plants covering us was shoved out of the way.

     “Father” Don said when he detached himself from me “Didn’t realize you guys were here”. My father glared at me, his eyes not leaving me once when he grabbed me by the neck. I watched him as he pulled me out, Don calling out to him.

     My father’s eyes did not look the same, a dark pool had replaced it and all the love that used to grace his face was nowhere to be found. I looked back at Don helplessly unable to wrap my head around what was happening when my vision started to go black but not before I saw the panic on Don’s face.