CHAPTER 1: You are not allowed to come back

　　Dejected, confused and alone in my room, working on the lyrics of the song I had an inspiration about a night before. when I heard a faint noise from the room opposite mine.

　　I really don't care when they quarrel anymore, it has been part of our everyday schedule, if money wasn't the cause of their fall foul , it would be something irrelevant, which made me feel they weren't into each other before tieing the knot.

　　I went on making my lyrics, while the noise grew more intense than the normal rage, then I couldn't concentrate anymore. I stood up from my system and went over to my door so I could eavsdropp on them . The first statement I heard made me curious and eager to know what the conflict was all about.

　　"Jessica, you can't leave Anthony and I here, who would take care of the home or fix Anthony's meal??, you know clearly well that my job doesn't permit me to nurse a grown up baby"

　　"Daniel, I don't care about all that anymore, I can't continue with the nonchalant attitude of yours, you don't care about my walfare, you see no good in all I do,what else do you want?, I left my job to cater for your domestic needs yet you are not satisfied, all you do is cheat on me!!!. I have had enough of this toxic relationship and as for Anthony, he is grown already and can take care of himself perfectly well".

　　I became uneasy "why does she wanna leave? Doesn't she love me?, How did she get to know that Dad cheats on her? Am I hearing impaired now? were the thoughts going through my head.

　　My thoughts seems to be making a hell of noise in my head, I couldn't hear them clearly anymore, I moved into the hallway and stood at the edge of their door to clear my curiosity.

　　"Where are you off to?, we both know you have have no one around here?, And who is going to take care of Anthony??"

　　"That is non of your business Daniel.... When did you start caring about my whereabout???"

　　"Well... I have been waiting for this for a very long time,I couldn't bring myself to tell you, I was afarid of hurting for feelings , but it seems you've grown wings already , when you get a place to settle in, send me your address and my lawyer will get in touch with you"

　　"There won't be any need for that, I spoke to my lawyer already, you will be hearing from him instead".

　　I grew more impatient at this point I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I wanted to confirm from them, ask them what was wrong, clear my curiosity. I barged into their room, looked around , I was sartled when I found out that my mom has packed all her belongings.

　　She rushed over to me with a warm smile and took my face in her hands which I shook off.

　　"Tony, you should be asleep what are you doing up by this time of the night?"

　　They both looked at me with surprise and I went over to where her bags were , fighting back my tears, I asked her with a smile, hoping she would tell me the truth.

　　"Mom, why are your bags here? Are off to see Aunt sarah?"

　　They exchanged glance and my dad came closer , put his hands on my shoulders before he could say a word mom took off his hands, replaced it with hers and sat me down.

　　"My tony, mom is going on a business trip and would be back in no time. It is for your sake darling"

　　I couldn't contain my tears anymore. I looked at their face looking for guilt, regrets, love, concern yet I found non, then I knew they had brought me to existence out of their wish. I felt miserable, I had really thought I would make a lotta memories with her now that she has quitted her job, buh I was living in a fantasy of mine. I let out a deep cry and broke down in tears.

　　They were surprised and bent down before me, Momma kept a smile on her face which irritated and fuelled the anger in me.

　　"Tony, I know you gonna miss me buh I will be back in no time".

　　My mom said while she was cleaning the tears running down my face like an ocean.. The rage in me grew stronger, I pushed her away so hard and looked at my father who stood at a corner watching with no concern. Before my mother could stand up I gave her a look with a sneer on my face and said in a low tone.

　　"I heard everything mom, every single thing!!... How could you? You want to leave me alone to go have kids elsewhere?, you wanna give up on us??!!!. I really thought you cared, I thought I had the best mom in the world buh I was wrong!!!" I yelled with pains in my heart.

　　She tried to hold me but I shoved her away while my father stood hands akimbo at a corner

　　" You know what???, I don't care about you leaving but if you leave you are not allowed to come back and neither will I considered as my mother again."

　　I looked over at my Dad and gave him a scornful look

　　"I never considered you as my father, I had a soft spot for you, I pray and hope everyday that you turn a new leaf, I wished we could go out someday and hangout like the Johnson's buh I was wrong, I had wasted my precious prayers, you are the worst father i have ever known in my life. Today, you've lost the last brooke of respect I had for you". He moved closer and hit me hard across the face.

　　"you don't talk to me like that!!! okay??"

　　I ran outta the room and locked myself up in mine, I cried my eyes out, I don't know why life is so cruel to me, everyone I thought loved me and would always be there for me are gone. My mother, I considered as the my comforter is leaving,

　　Do I have a bad attitude?, Am I annoying?, why is everyone getting tired of me?. I really do need to check myself, something is wrong with me were the thoughts running through my heads.

　　I heard them raise their voices again but I really don't care anymore, she can leave, everyone is free to go. I cried out my eyes and screamed out load in my head. Everywhere seem quite all of a sudden and I heard their door open and heard mom calling my name

　　"Anto, tony, Anthony" she knocks at my door and kept on calling me but I wasn't ready to listen to whatever trash she has to say,

　　"You gonna miss your flight, leave him, he is going to be fine, he only needs so time to himself".

　　I cursed him beneath my breath " Asshole"

　　" Anthony, momma is going to be back for you when she gets a place to settle in. She loves you and always will"

　　I could hear her cry but I wasn't interested in those crocodile tears, I felt frustrated and yelled back at her

　　" I don't need you in my life anymore, once you step outta here don't bother coming back cus you are no one to me!!!".

　　" Momma loves you darling".

　　I didn't wanna listen to her anymore , I left the door and moved over to my bed , tried to continue with my lyrics and act like I don't care buh deep down,I need teraphy cus there are lots of demons "inspiring" me to commit sucide